


Copper and Coal

by RoseScytheElysium



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Kinky Force Sex, Loss of Virginity, Porn With Plot, Semi love/hate, Smut, Spoilers, force bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 12:18:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 74,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5707852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseScytheElysium/pseuds/RoseScytheElysium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Knights of Ren are searching for lost sith artifacts to further strengthen their knowledge of the Dark Side. During their search they encounter a young mystic in the force and take her as a new apprentice. She begins her training under Kylo Ren but can she endure the life of a Knight? *Reuploaded*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was rather uncomfortably cold within the corridors of the Cruiser much to the annoyance of it's crew. However, perhaps it couldn't be helped. The Cruiser had just reached the Outer Rim Territories, there is little warmth here. Both metaphorically and physically. The Outer Rim Territories were riddled with rugged worlds filled with vulgar and licentious primitives who knew nothing but basic biological instincts that drive them to survive their weak and insignificant lives. However these terrains were not all homed to such filth. The Outer Rim became a breeding ground for smugglers and bounty hunters who would blindly go wherever they were needed as long as the credits were right. Their moral standards may be nonexistence but they got jobs done that many wouldn't be willing to do.

Things were not always hopeless in the Outer Rim. There was a time where the Empire had brought order and stability to such wretched parts of the galaxy. A time of ultimate rule and order brought forth by the legions of the Empire. By the legions of the Sith. The Sith were the epitome of what the Empire stood for. Through their passion and power they brought the balance of order and the reign of conformity.  A time the First Order reminiscences about fondly. A motivation for their cause, for their goal. A goal they will ultimately achieve under the vision of the Supreme Leader. It was his guidance that lead this Cruiser to the Outer Rim. His guidance that commanded the Knights of Ren to travel here.

This Cruiser served one purpose, to bring the Knight's of Ren to the location of the Sith artifacts. Artifacts needed to understand the practically forgotten methods and teachings of the Sith. After the eradication of the newly formed Jedi, Supreme Leader Snoke commanded the Knights to search for Sith artifacts. It was this task that led the master of the Knights, Kylo Ren, in possession of a very important artifact. Though perhaps the collection of this was for more personal reasons, but nevertheless Kylo Ren had obtained the burnt and crippled mask of Darth Vader. 

A mask the master of the Knights stared into repeatedly for perhaps hours on end. He would peer into those hollow and charred eyes pleading and begging for guidance. Guidance towards the dark side. However, Kylo Ren made quick work to hide his worry  from others. There could be no room for the weakness he held to be exposed. His fellow Knights were wholeheartedly dedicated to the dark side of the force. Kylo Ren may exceed them in ability but not in dedication. And he begrudgingly knew this. He tried his hardest to bury his conflict from peering eyes, but Snoke was no fool. As he took another step in the dark there was always something pulling him back to the light. There was always something reminding him of the time he spent in the light. A time where he told himself that things were foolish, but a part of him never believed that. However, Kylo Ren would be able to push his thoughts aside for a great while until they caught up with him again. He would then turn to the mask of his grandfather and the cycle would be forever repeating.  

His fellow Knights were also keen on noticing this. Yet, none dared to challenge Kylo Ren or Supreme Leader Snoke. However, Kylo Ren had little time to think about this now. Now, he needed to lead the Knights down onto the temperate planet, Garel. A planet once controlled by the Galactic Empire in it's prime. Now, it is little more than a waste land ravaged by the Rebellion and Galactic battles fought there. An almost too perfect place to search for Sith artifacts hidden in the rubble. The First Order had made quick work of the planet. Securing numerous locations on the planet ensuring convenient travel. There was no worry of the resistance here any longer. 

Kylo Ren emerged from his quarters with silent authority as the Troopers he walked by followed strictly in suit. His loud footsteps echoed against the silent walls of the Cruiser. He walked fist clenched and intimidating silence as he quickly, almost impatiently, made his way to the hanger where the shuttle waited to take him down to the planet. Upon approach all Troopers stood in attention, unmoving from their orderly lines as Kylo Ren paced past them. The shuttle's doors lowered to the cold metal floor revealing it dark interior. Kylo Ren stepped in followed by a handful selected guards. There was truly no need for the guards as there was no trouble expected. They were there for the intimidation factor, a reminder of what the First Order had. Two of Kylo Ren's fellow Knights stood in the shuttle in silence. He walked past them, approaching the pilot who was preparing to launch. 

"Are we ready to lauch?" Kylo questioned lowly. 

"Yes, my lord, waiting for the clearance from the hanger." The pilot answered monotonously and swiftly. Kylo Ren scanned the Trooper up and down before replying,

"Don't keep me waiting." 

"Of course not, my lord." The pilot apologized.

Kylo Ren said nothing more, returning to where his fellow Knights stood. The two turned to him, he could feel their eyes through their masks. Perhaps they were waiting for him to command them, but Kylo Ran had no plans of even acknowledging them. The two Knights soon sensed this and returned their gazes to each other. Kylo Ren sat down placing his elbows on his knees and intertwined his gloved fingers. He was growing increasingly impatient. How long must it take to get clearance on a planet heavily dominated by the First Order? He occasionally looked to his fellow Knight's out of the side of his mask. The stood still and proud with arms crossed. He could sense their increasing impatience. The pilot would soon be in a poor position with three impatient Knights on board the shuttle. 

 Thankfully, with a jolt the shuttle started up causing Kylo Ren to sigh and relax his posture. He leaned against the seat with hands placed at his sides. He paid no mind to the two Knights who had began to chat about things Kylo had no care about. Kylo's mind went to the artifact they would searching for, if there really was any. Would it be something to further entice him to the dark? He could only hope so and he wouldn't need to wait for much longer. The shuttle should be entering Garel's atmosphere soon. But Kylo Ren was not a patient individual. 

He pushed himself up, but stoped once he saw one of the Knights approach the cockpit. Kylo waited before following loosely behind. The Knight, Malaz Ren, stood behind the pilot whose hands were steadily placed on the controls as the holographic screen played before him. Kylo stood behind them, waiting for Malaz to speak. He needn't wait long.

"DH-3586." Malaz spoke, his voice distorted by the sound of his mask. The pilot jumped slightly much to Malaz's amusement.

DH-3586 quickly regained his composure, "Yes, my lord?" 

Malaz approached the frightened pilot, taking a seat in the empty co-pilot's chair. Malaz said nothing as the stared at the pilot through his mask. It was impossible to tell if the pilot showed fear as his face was covered by the black and red helmet. However, the Knights were not ordinary individuals. Kylo could sense the pilot's growing fear and he knew Malaz could too. And he knew Malaz took much pleasure in it. Yet, Malaz still said nothing, torturing the pilot with his silence. The pilot had began to fidget slightly and clear his throat. Malaz was testing his protocols, his limits before he would abandon all those years of training and lose himself in fear. The Troopers were fascinating specimen, no one would doubt that. Trained since birth to know nothing but orders wore the same helmets and armor as the next to depersonalize them. Kylo Ren couldn't help but notice a similarity with that. 

Kylo Ren was growing tired of this game Malaz was playing. He could feel the conflict begin to pull at him again and there was nothing on this shuttle that could ease this. He needed to end it.

 "Show me the perimeters of the search." Kylo Ren spoke up. 

"Of course, My lord." DH-3586 replied in the usual steady tone almost as if nothing had happened prior.

Malaz turned to face Kylo. There eyes meeting through their masks. Kylo would not be intimidated by him. Malaz said nothing to him, but Kylo could feel his anger and confusion. Malaz knew his place though. He said nothing as he got up and made his way past Kylo Ren. Kylo almost looked back at him, but he held himself firm.

 "The largest signatures are coming from this sector of Garel, my lord." The pilot spoke up drawing Kylo's attention back. He looked to where the pilot was pointing, a mountainous region. It wasn't too far from the city but wasn't close enough where they would gain attention. 

"A rather large radius." Kylo Ren mentioned aloud.

"Forgive me, my lord. This is the closest our scanners can get with the mountainous interference." The pilot responded immediately.

"Hmm," Kylo Ren chimed, "Very well. Drop us off at a clear area." He instructed before walking away.

He could hear a faint 'yes my lord' from the pilot as he left. Kylo Ren returned to his seat. He leaned back into it as he knew he wouldn't need to wait much longer.

The shuttle came to a smooth landing in a clear pass between the jagged mountains that threatened to tear the shuttle apart and add its scraps to those lodged in the crevices from a time long ago. The Troopers orderly existed the shuttled and awaited the Knights who followed not too far behind. The two Knights stood on either side of Kylo Ren. He looked around at his surroundings, taking in the atmosphere that enclosed around them.

"You have your coordinates. Stay in communication's reach." He ordered simply. The two Knights signaled their squadron of Troopers and headed out in their own direction. He stood in front of his squadron gazing up at the tall mountains. He took a silent and deep breath. Focusing on the sensations of the dark side, hoping to hone in on where this artifact rests.

\---

  _Garel- one day earlier_

It was late, although one could hardly tell by the lights from the city that illuminated the sky. It was though, she knew that, much later than she usually stayed out. The First Order had made travel to to and from the city rather difficult these day. However, it may be needed. This city used to house rebellion refugees after they fled Lothal. But she was no rebel nor was she a refugee, she just wanted to leave this city. However, voicing her annoyance to the Troopers could put her in some trouble. It was best for her to remain silent. 

It was terribly crowded waiting in the ever lasting line to exit the city. She didn't need a shuttle, she could easily walk, but that changed nothing. Everyone was so close together in this line, making her extremely uncomfortable and rather sick with worry. She knew she should have left earlier, just waited until the next to come to the city to sell her crops. She would probably have gotten a better deal in the morning rather than later. This self pity wasn't getting her anywhere and neither was this line. She peered ahead and saw the almost countless individuals standing in front of her. She sighed defeated and crossed her arms. She didn't have a speeder to get back to her home which meant by the time she made it passed the clearance and got on her way the light from the moons would surely be covered. 

She bit her lips in thought. She needed to make her decision and once she did she couldn't go back on it. She supposed she did not need to use the main roads that had clearance stops stationed there. She could easily sneak past the stations by taking the over grown and mangled mountain paths. There was little chance she would run into anyone there. Garel was her home after all, surely she could make her way home without trouble. The spice smugglers used them from time to time. She never heard about them running into much trouble. 

She made her decision. She quietly stepped out of line and hastily made her way towards the edge of the city. She wove her way through the hordes of humans and aliens that still crowded the streets even at this hour. She had to wonder if this city ever slept. Though, the vast movement would provide her cover to slip away into the night. She neared the edge of the city, where the lights grew dim and bleak. She looked up at the sky, the moons would soon be covered up by the clouds. She needed to make haste. She checked her surroundings. No one seemed to be paying her any attention. She quickly and quietly began to walk from the city, it's lights leaving an orange glow behind her. 

As she walked, the lights soon dimmed and faded away, leaving her with only the cold rays from the moons to guide her. It was getting colder as she traveled further and further away from the warm and feverish city. Still, in her mind it was better than standing in a close-knit line. Too many possibilities for something to happen. That didn't matter now, she was away from that and had to focus on finding her way home.  

As she continued to wander through the mountains, her confidence in her ability to find her way home began to dwindle rather quickly. She had spent her entire life on Garel and surely thought she could find her way home on a different path. A different path she had never taken before. A path she only heard people talk about. She thought about turning back, but a terrifying truth became revealed to her. Turning back might only further lose her in the night. 

The winds were blowing ferociously and roaring louder than a rancor on the hunt. She placed her hand in front of her, trying to block the wind from her eyes. A large gust caused the cloth covering her head to fly off and wisp away behind her. She let out a gasp and tried to catch it, but it was too far gone. She stood there for a moment back turned to the wind. She needed to get out of the open, take refuge between the mountains where she would be shielded by the winds. It was her best chance. She continued to tell herself she had experienced worse and that this was a minor inconvenience. She had to tell herself something to keep her walking in the night. 

Her only solace was now staying close to the mountains, hoping they would provide her with cover from any peering eyes just as much from the wind. She stopped suddenly, faintly hearing the sound of footsteps near her. She could feel that there were people here. She stood perfectly still, frozen in anticipation. It was almost as if everything around her had stopped with her. Until she heard faint voices from below her. She crouched down slowly and kept herself hidden behind a jagged edge. She unholstered her blaster, not knowing if the blast could reach if she needed to use it. She kept the rusted metal close to her, her finger placed just above the trigger. 

Her breathing was ragged and tremulous as she prepared herself to peer from behind her hiding place. She carefully looked over the edge. It was terribly dark, but five or six white blurs caught her attention. She inched her way past her cover to see who she had heard. Judging by their attire they were First Order Troopers. Her lips parted in confusion as she wondered why they would be so far out here. She concentrated on them, on their movements. She was sure there was six of them now. Their whispered conversation fell onto her ears. 

They were looking for something but they wouldn't directly say what. They hadn't found it but had found the region of where it could be. She wanted to hear more, but if she continued to lean in she would fall. She questioned what the First Order could be searching for out here. Had a fugitive escaped? It unnerved her to say the least. Troopers rarely patrolled the uninhabited areas of Garel and seeing them out here could only mean trouble. And she did not want to be that trouble. She stared at them for a moment more before turning in a different direction. 

It didn't matter where she went now. She needed to wait for the light to fully be able to navigate these mountains. She could survive a night out in the mountains. She again told herself she could survive much worse and that she has. The echo of wind against the mountains sounded like wailing and pounding, though by now she had gotten used to the wind's cries. She stopped again, feeling uneasy and slightly dazed. A dull ringing began to burrow in her head. She closed her eyes and put her gloved finger tips to her temples. Perhaps the wind was dizzying her? 

She opened her eyes steadily, but the ringing was still nagging at her. It sounded next to her, as if someone was humming into her ear. She turned her head sharply and saw a small opening in the mountain just ahead. The wind must have moved some loose stones away. She stared at it almost like it was welcoming her to it. She began to maneuver her way towards it, weaving through the jagged edged of the mountains.  As she drew closer the ringing only got louder. She was cautious as she made her way into the opening, keeping her blaster firmly in her hand. She could feel gravel falling from the ceiling onto her as she stepped in further. 

It mustn't be safe here, and yet she still continued in further. The ringing became too enticing for her to stop now. She was almost out of body as she moved, feeling and seeing everything flow around her. The wind's harsh echo hardly mattered to her anymore. 

Then everything changed. A sharp push of the wind collided with the mountains causing rocks to break apart and crash into one another. The cave beneath her shook and became unsteady. Rocks began to fall and cascade upon each other behind her. She turned around quickly just in time to witness her only escape be covered by the fallen rocks and suddenly that hypnotizing ringing stopped. She let her gloves slip off her hands as she approached the now covered entrance. 

"No.." She murmured now realizing her situation. She grunted as she tried to move them, but they were sealed. She slowly back away uttering no after no. She wrapped her arms around herself and cowered. She should have ignored her feelings but they were so compelling she rarely gave them thought.

She was alone and it was incredibly hard to see except for a small opening not too far up, however, it was much too small for her to climb through. Her finger nails began to dig through her clothes as her anger rose. She took in a deep breath and angrily banged against the walls of the cave, cursing at herself for getting into this mess. She let out of a cry of frustration and hit the wall one last time before she heard a small tumble. A few stones had gotten loose from the walls and scattered about. Expect one. This one landed directly at her feet and she began to hear the dull ringing again.

 She crouched down to get a better look. This stone had an odd shape, almost man made and looked like it had been covered for some time. She narrowed her eyes at it noticing a strange pattern graved into it. This was no ordinary fallen part of the mountain. She wondered what the craving said or meant. She hesitated as she reached for it and as soon as her fingers touched it's rough surface she regretted it.

She gasped as visions of a time of old, a time she's never seen surrounded her. Cheers and chants echoed in her ears and there were legions of strange looking people wielding the swords she had only heard about. She saw them wage war wherever they stepped. There was so much hatred and anger she began to fall ill. They struck down their enemies with intense flames and she screamed feeling their pain as her own. She tried to let go of it, but she couldn't. She was trapped in this vision, feeling everything that those she saw felt. The cheering and chanting grew louder and louder, she could not understand what was being said. It all began to jumble together in one final blur before releasing her from its hold. 

She jolted back and gasped for breath. She could feel the sweat run down her face and her hands trembled. She could faintly feel the burns and wounds she saw inflicted on those in the vision. Not breaking her gaze from the stone, she quickly put her gloves back on. This didn't make sense to her. This had never happen before, not like this at least.  Where these incidents getting worse again? Could she now not even touch nonliving things without being plagued by these visions? She narrowed her brow as she continued to stare at the mysterious carved stone. She scowled angrily, before thrusting her foot at it. She kicked the wrenched stone away from her and sobbed. 

She thought she could handle herself, thought she could get home.

How foolish she had been.

No...someone would come. She knows this. Someone was coming here.

\---

Kylo Ren's annoyance increased as his search for the supposed sith artifact was proving fruitless. He received no word from the other two Knights meaning they had not found anything either. With all the technology the First Order had in their possession, could they really not provide a more accurate location?

The Troopers were providing little help as well. They were not Force Sensitive and their devices kept picking up interference with the mountains. They were useless to Kylo Ren and were beginning to become a nuisance. In little time his anger and frustration would surely be taken out on them. There was little preventing that. Though Kylo Ren was determined. He was not weak and would not give up so easily. He was indeed full of pride. 

He began to commune with the force, with the dark side, and soon everything around him didn't matter anymore. There was only him and the force, a rather vulnerable time for him, but he needed to push through it. He allowed the force to guide him until he heard a soft ringing. He was close. He followed the sounds until they blared into his ears and mind. He stood before a collapsed cavern. The rocks covering the entrance looked as if they hadn't been there long.

"Call the others." Kylo Ren spoke up, "I've found it." 


	2. Chapter 2

Pacing back and forth as the two Knights approached him, Kylo never took his eyes off the pile of rocks.

"Do you believe it to be behind here?" Malaz questioned while turning his attention to Kylo. 

"Yes, I can feel it." Kylo responded with confidence. 

Malaz nodded, "Then we shall have the troopers clear it." 

Malaz began to signal the troopers, but Kylo stopped him.

"That won't be necessary." He informed his fellow Knight. He placed his palm against the damp rocks and swiftly, like it was nothing, pushed the rocks aside cascading them down the side of the mountain.

The three Knights stood together by the now opened entrance. A humid wind passed through them and they could see the gravel still shifting from the mountain's rupture. It was rather bleak in there, with ashen walls and not much light to lead them. However, the Knights needed not their eyes.

They stepped in with their troopers behind them, blasters raised and on high alert. A hush fell over them and complete silence became them. The Knights let their senses control their movements, treading where they felt the strongest. They communed with the sensations of the dark side. Listening to its whispers to bring them to what they wanted. 

Suddenly, Kylo Ren stopped, which didn't go unnoticed by his fellow Knights. They turned to him, waiting for him to speak. And wait they would as Kylo remained silent. He felt something-someone else here. A presence not of the dark nor the light, just something significant enough to catch his attention. 

"Do you feel it?" He finally spoke, almost inaudibly.

"Yes." The two Knights responded in unison, "The artifact."

"No." Kylo Ren shook his head, "It's not that."

The two Knights looked at each other, now on full alert. They signaled to their troopers to keep their blasters raised be ready to open fire. Kylo Ren continued to walk further in the cave, stepping over fallen and broken pieces of stone and rock. His dark eyes scanned over everything he passed, taking in all the sensations.

She stopped near a jagged rock that protruded from the side of the cave.

_There it is._

He swiftly unsheathed his lightsaber and swung it behind the rock. He heard a small, very faint, gasp and he turned his head to see a girl. Well, not a girl, a woman-a young woman whose fear stricken face was being illuminated a feverish red. He stared at her, but her attention was fixated on his weapon that was merely inches away from her face. 

The Knights and troopers were soon around him, weapons raised and pointed at the woman. Kylo Ren waited a moment, studying her movements before sheathing his lightsaber and stepping away. 

"Pull her up." He ordered his troopers who wasted no time shoving the woman to her feet. She put up no protest as they pulled her to her feet and restrained her arms. They brought her forth, presenting her to the three Knights who stood in unison. She said nothing, just continued to stare at them with wide grey eyes that were almost impossible to see with her tangled hair covering most of her face.

 "Who are you?" Kylo Ren demanded in a strange distorted voice most likely caused by the mask he wore. She had never heard such a voice before.

He waited for her to speak and yet she continued to stare. She parted her lips to say something but no words were spoken.

"Don't keep me waiting,  _girl_." He threatened this time.

"I..." She began, "Runa..." She revealed no louder than the chirp of a Gizka. 

"Runa what? Do you have no surname?" Kylo Ren questioned further.

"It's Lonova." She said even quieter. 

Kylo had never heard of any Lonovas. He turned to his Knights who shook their head, indicating they knew nothing of that name either. He turned his attention back to the woman.

"Why are you here?" He interrogated.

"I..don't know." She answered sheepishly.

"You don't _know?_   You expect me to believe that?" He questioned in patiently.

"Sir," one of the troopers spoke up, "Our scanners indicate the signature is coming from this object." He gestured over to a small stone carving with markings matching those of sith on it. 

Annoyed at this interruption, he sighed deeply and pushed the trooper away from him.

"Te'na, retrieve it." Kylo ordered coldly. 

Te'na looked to him and Kylo could feel her glare but she complied and approached it. Reaching out to it with her bare palm, which Runa noticed.

She gasped softly, "Wa-" she stopped upon seeing this Te'na pick of the artifact and swiftly return to the side of one who had been speaking with her. Runa stared at the artifact then shifted her gaze to Te'na, repeating this over and over, which did not go unnoticed by the one who had spoken to her.

"What are you doing?" He inquired, jarring her attention away.

"I..um.." Runa mumbled.

Kylo Ren reach out to her, grasping her chin tightly. He felt her tense up under his grip.

"Runa, was it? When I ask you a question I expect you to answer it. No hesitations. I'm not a patient man, and you surely don't want to see what happens when I get impatient."

Runa's lips quivered yet she managed to speak, "You are with the First Order? The Knights of Ren?" She did not know whether it was bravery or foolishness that caused her to ask him that question.

He scoffed and gripped her chin tighter.

Definitely foolishness.

"Is it really that obvious?" He asked sarcastically and Runa had enough wits to not reply.

"But don't you think I should be asking the questions?" He tipped her chin upwards. She nodded her head in compliance and Kylo Ren leaned back and roughly let go of her chin.

"Now answer me. Why are you here?" He commanded.

 "I was trying to get home...Got lost." She answered simply and timidly. 

"Is that really all? What led you to this cave with only one way in and out?" He pressed further.

Runa didn't quite understand his curiosity. If the rumors about the Knights were true then couldn't he just take the information from her? Was this all a game to them?

"Well...I-" She tried not to hesitate but it was rather difficult for her to explain.

"Remember what I told you about me." He threatened.

She nodded quickly, "I heard something...a ringing or maybe a humming coming from here. I followed it, I don't know why but I did. Then the cave collapsed in, trapping me here." 

He stayed silent for some time which unnerved Runa causing her gaze to shift rapidly as long as it wasn't on him. 

 He had much to contemplate from what little she said. She claimed she heard a ringing much like he had heard earlier. The very same ringing that led him to the very same spot. The possibility came up that perhaps she was Force Sensitive, but Kylo would need more information and just because a young woman heard a bit of noise doesn't make her Force Sensitive.

"What was your concern with this?" He gestured toward the artifact Te'na held in her hand.

"That is no ordinary stone." Runa replied quickly.

"Oh?" Kylo mused.

"It looks strange...and touching it..." She stopped but added rather quickly that, "when I touched it, I saw things and felt things from a place I've never seen. I thought the same would happen when she picked it up but I don't mean to presume." She trailed off.

Kylo Ren turned to Te'na Ren, "Well?" 

She shook her head at him, she had seen nothing. Kylo inhaled slowly and deeply. He looked to the artifact then back to Runa.

"Hmm." Was all he managed to say. "Watch her." He ordered the troopers.

"Yes sir." They pointed their blasters at her causing her to instinctively try and put her hands up defense yet they were still restrained. She watched the three Knight walk out the cave and had to wonder if they were going to order her execution.

 

 Kylo stood a distance away from the cave in deep thought. He wasn't quite sure what to do about this situation, he had never encountered a potential Force Sensitive since he joined the Knights of Ren. Other members have, but most of those encounters ended badly. 

"Do you believe her to be Force Sensitive?" Malaz spoke.

"That's what I'm going to find out. Hand me the data pad." Kylo Ren instructed Malaz.

"You can't possibly think that!" Te'na protested as Malaz handed it to Kylo.

Kylo looked at her with annoyance. She was always rather vocal.

"That artifact is infused with the dark side, anyone could have experienced what that girl saw." Te'na continued her rant.

"And yet, you saw nothing." Kylo responded sharply.

Te'na narrowed her eyes. "Are you implying that this wretch is stronger than me?" She practically spat venom at Kylo.

"Enough Te'na Ren." Malaz intervened. 

"Shut up Malaz! Your blind obedience sickens me and I know you too have your qualms." She sneered.

"Careful that your jealousy does not blind you of what we need to do." Malaz responded calmly. 

"Jealousy-" She began but Kylo Ren had grown tired of their prattle.

"Enough!" He shouted at them. His rage sending a pulse through the two Knights. Te'na and Malaz fell silent like a Nexu with its tail between its legs. 

"Stay here." He ordered as he pushed past them. This test was old but it was the best he had at the time and it was something he needed to find out.

 

Kylo Ren returned to Runa, who, not surprisingly, was still being held at gun point. She looked up to him, she just now realized he was rather tall. Her eyes scanned over the mask he wore. It looked strange and robotic. The others wore masks as well, but they were all different. She wondered why there was a need for them. Was their identity meant to be a secret?

Those questions did not matter to her now. What mattered was why this man was saying nothing to her. She didn't like that. She did not like this silence.

"Are you going to kill me?" She asked breathlessly. 

"You tell me." He answered. 

Her eyes widened slightly and she looked at him, concentrating on him.

"No..you aren't going to kill me. You..are going to ask me something?"

"Good." He whispered which confused her. 

What was good? That he wasn't going to kill her? Yeah that was pretty good for her, but she wasn't sure how that would be good for him. 

He looked to her once more, "Do you know what's on this data pad?" 

 She was taken back by this question. Why would he want to know? He could see it, she couldn't. Still, she remembered his previous warning.

"It's..a speeder." She responded carefully. 

He only hummed in response and typed something into the date pad.

"And now?" 

Her brow rose, what was he trying to do? Did the First Order normally give its citizens pop quizzes?

"A Rodain." She answered again though she was still confused. 

This continued for sometime. Question after question, answer after answer. Each time the images getting more and more specific. Yet she was provided no explanation, but she had no choice but to comply with him. Then he suddenly stopped and handed the data pad to one of the troopers. 

"You," he pointed to a trooper, "follow me." 

The trooper immediately lowered his blaster and trailed behind the masked man, leaving Runa once again in the hands of First Order troops.

 

"Patch me with Supreme Leader Snoke." Kylo demanded with impatience.

"Of course, sir." The trooper took the communicator in his hand and dialed the frequency to Snoke. 

"Give it here." Kylo said taking it from the trooper's hand.

Slowly the hologram of his mentor materialized, showing him in his usual seated position.

"What is it Kylo Ren? Have you retrieved the artifact?"

"Yes but we found something else." Kylo revealed.

"Oh? And what would have be?" 

"A young woman. She appears to be Force Sensitive."

 Snoke leaned in his seat, "How do you know this?"

"She located the artifact similarly to how I did. She received visions from it when touched, Te'na Ren also touched the artifact and experienced nothing. I administered a test, she was able to answer all the questions and even predict the next images I was going to show her." 

"Hmm. The test you administered is an old test. But if what you say is true, bring her here. I will be able to determine whether she is or is not. If not, you will dispose of her accordingly." Snoke concluded.

"Of course." Kylo Ren nodded before Snoke terminated the transmission. 

Kylo shoved the communicator back into the hands of the trooper and trudged his way back into the cave. He looked to Runa who was still restrained before looking to the troopers.

"Bring her to the shuttle."

"What?!" She protested but Kylo would not answer her. 

She began struggling now, kicking and screaming as the troopers tried to move her. 

"You can't take me! This is my home!" 

Kylo turned to her, "This cave is your home?"

"No..! Not this horrid cave! Garel! Garel is my home!" She pleaded.

"You will go where you are needed." Kylo said simply.

"No I will not!" She thrashed out of the grip of the troopers. She quickly whipped her blaster at them, striking a few and prepared to shoot them.

Kylo held his hand out causing her to freeze. He swiftly moved his hand to the side causing her to go limp. He was quick to catch her in his arms. He pulled her up and held her. She was very passionate and fierce. If she was Force Sensitive, Snoke would surely approve of her.

 

 Kylo laid her down carefully on the seat. She will remain unconscious for now. He had had enough yelling for the day. With the light provided by the shuttle he could get a better look at her and by stars she was filthy. Dirt and gravel were caked onto her face and clothes. Her hair was tangled with small pebbles and her knuckles were bruised and dry blood had formed there. He could not present her to Snoke in this condition.

"When we reach the Cruiser see to it that she is washed when she wakes." Kylo instructed a trooper standing by. 

He issued a 'yes my lord' as Kylo walked to his fellow Knights whom he still did not want to commune with. 

Kylo had to wonder what would become of the young woman if she was deemed Force Sensitive. He already knew what would happen to her if she wasn't so there was no point thinking about that. But did she even know she could potentially be Force Sensitive? He would need to wait until she woke for those answers.

He sighed tiredly. What a long day this had been.

 


	3. Chapter 3

With blurred vision, her eyes slowly peaked open to see the very welcoming imagine of a blaster rifle pointed at her face. Her eyes widened and she took a sharp inhale. She swiftly pushed herself up to her side, staring up at the one who aimed at her. It was a First Order trooper towering over her with strict and firm resolve.  

"Where am I?" She mustered up the courage to ask. Yet, the trooper remained silent. The only communication to her was gesturing the blaster upwards, signalling her to get up. 

She had little choice so she complied and slowly rose to her feet. The trooper grabbed her arm roughly, keeping her close and the blaster angled at her head. The trooper dragged her through corridor after corridor. Each one looking more similar than the rest. Silver metallic walls, black tiled floors and a never ending supply of sealed doors. There were no windows either, nothing but stark metal reflecting bright lights. Wherever she was, it was awfully bleak. 

As she was escorted, she saw countless troopers standing in attention. None of them ever paying her any attention. Runa began to think this may be a prison of some sort. It would explain the abundance of troopers and uncountable amount of sealed doors. The trooper may be bringing her to a cell to await trial, if she would ever have one. Only the worst ran through her mind. Was she to be locked away in a lonely cell to be forgotten about? Was she to spend the rest of her days trapped in a place unknown to her?

She didn't understand any of this. She had always been a dutiful First Order civilian as her family had always supported the Empire. This was rather excessive for her first offense, and a minor one at that. It had to be because she encountered the Knights of Ren. She knew so little about them, they were rarely spoken about on Garel. Some even thought they were a myth created by the illusive Supreme Leader for intimidation purposes. But they were clearly real, Runa had seen three of them. She wondered if there were more or if there was an army of them like there were troopers. The thought of an army of Knights made her shake. If only three of them could unnerve her so, then she didn't want to think of what an army could do to her.

The trooper suddenly came to a hault, pulling Runa away from her thoughts. Dialing a code into the small keypad a door opened. The first thing Runa's eye meet was a large window that must have been closed as it only showed blackness. However, she had no time to look over the room as the trooper forcibly pushed her along inside it. Practically throwing her, the trooper released her in a small bathroom. Runa caught herself on the wall and turned to protest to the trooper, but the blaster was pointed at her once more.

"Your orders are to wash yourself up." The trooper finally spoke.

"Okay...?" Her answer was more of a question.

The trooper stayed there silent, blaster still aimed to her.

"Aren't you gong to, you know, leave?" Runa questioned.

"My orders are to ensure that you bathe." The trooper replied firmly.

Runa raised a brow and lightly shook her head, "What?! I can't undress with you here!" 

"My orders are to ensure that you bathe." The trooper repeated this time more forcefully. "You are to remove your articles of clothing and place them here so they can be taken."

Runa wrapped her arms around herself, there was no way she was going to undress and bathe in front of someone she didn't know. She understood protocol was protocol but this was rather invasive. She had nowhere to run, there was only one way in and one way out. Surely these troopers could understand reason.

"Wait outside the door." Runa offered carefully. 

The trooper stared at her for awhile before becoming relaxed, almost limp. "Wait outside the door." The trooper repeated back quiet and calmly before turning around and existing. Runa's eyes widened, she didn't expect it to be that easy, she had a whole proposal lined up too. Perhaps these troopers weren't entirely stone faced. 

Runa sighed lightly, letting her arms slip to her side. She turned to the shower behind her. It was small, but she wasn't in the position to be judging the sizes of showers. She fiddled with the nozzle, trying to figure out how to turn it on. The water sprung on, damping her hair. She pulled back and watched the water pour down. She slid one of her gloves off, to test the temperature. It was surprisingly warm. She retreated her hand and began to shed away her clothes. She folded them neatly and placed them where the trooper had told her to. 

She pulled the shower curtain to the side and gently stepped in. The warm water beat against her back which caused her to hum. She began to scrub her body away of the gravel and dirt causing the water at her feet to turn a sickly grey color. It was difficult to remove all the pebbles from her tangled hair, but she was able to remove them after much pulling. She got lost in the time, a hot shower was a weakness of hers. The way the water melted her skin made her feel untouchable. She knew she couldn't enjoy herself much longer, she didn't want any troopers walking in on her. She groaned as the turned the shower off and the cold air hit her skin like a ton of bricks. 

Runa peaked her head out from behind the curtain. She saw no one but there was a neat pile of fresh cloths placed near the entrance of the bathroom. She crinkled her nose, she hoped it was a droid that brought her clothes. Careful not to slip, she tip toed out of the shower, beads of water still running down her skin. She took a small towel from the wall and began to dry her hair with it. It wasn't perfect but it would have to do. She picked up the clothes and looked at them. They were all the same shade of dark grey with no added color to them. She held it out in front of her, letting it unfold. It seemed to just be one long jump suit. She pierced her lips at it, was this a uniform of some kind? As a matter of fact it looked like the undergarments of what the troopers wore under their armor. 

With a shrug of her shoulders, she slipped into it. The fabric felt odd against her skin, coarse and scratchy. It was a wonder how troopers could wear these all day. Runa wrapped the towel around the back of her neck, keeping her still damp hair from seeping through the fabric.She wiggled a bit to try and get comfortable, but this was the best she was going to get. She noticed she had been left alone for sometime. Perhaps they knew she would need a bit of time to clean herself? Still, Runa didn't mind being left by herself, it gave her time to think.

Carefully, she exited the bathroom, exploring the small room that was connected to it. It looked too nice to be a cell. Maybe this wasn't a prison after all? Well then, where was she? If this wasn't a prison was she not a prisoner? She made her way to the window, trying to find someway to open it but found nothing. She placed her hands on her hips and huffed some air. 

Then she saw a large ship fly by the window, startling her. She nearly fell as it slowly flew by. She stared at it questioningly. The window was open? It was almost impossible to believe but she definitely saw that ship go by. She quickly approached the window, placing her hands on its cold surface. 

The window had indeed been open, open to the abyss of deep space.

\---

Kylo Ren slowly thumbed over his lower lip, his mask sitting just besides him. He sat in the private chambers alone, almost lost in thought. This solitude was a refreshing welcome from the events of the day. He let out a long and deep sigh as he rubbed his temple. His foot lightly tapped the ground, echoing a small pitter patter in the room. 

He didn't know how long he should wait for her to wash. The last he left her she was still unconscious and in the hands of a trooper. Kylo Ren ordered that trooper to immediately take her to room S207. He figured she should be there by now, awake and refreshed. Ready to be brought to Snoke. 

Either way, Kylo did not want to wait any longer. He pushed himself up and ran a hand through his hair before placing the mask over his head. He exited the room quickly and ignored the troopers who saluted to him. His loud footsteps echoed in the hallways as he made his way to the South Sector. He was not pleased at what he saw. The trooper he left her with, FT-3924, was standing by the sealed door. Kylo remembered he explicitly told FT-3924 to watch her. Kylo stood in front of the trooper waiting for some sort of explanation, but none came.

"What are you doing, FT-3924?" Kylo seethed through his teeth.

There was still silence and the trooper was unmoving.

Kylo took a large breath and clenched his fists. "FT-3924!" 

The trooper jumped and shook his head, clearly dazed.

"S-Sir?" He stammered.

"I gave you specific orders to watch the woman. Why are you stationed here?" 

The trooper looked around confused, "I..I don't know, sir. She protested to my presence told me to wait outside...I..." The trooper tried to remember.

Kylo Ren was familiar with these symptoms. She was more skilled than he thought. Kylo relaxed, unwinding his fists. 

"Go to your Captain." Kylo commanded.

The trooper nodded uttering a 'yes sir' before swiftly moving along. Kylo watched him leave before slowly opening the door. He immediately saw Runa fiddling with the window. This amused him, watching her attempt to open an already opened window. A shuttle flew by which caused her to jump. His smirk only widened as she stepped back.

"Enjoying the view?" He mussed. 

She turned around quickly and sharply with glare that could cut through you. With her cleaned up Kylo could get a better look at her. Her grey eyes were large and filled curiosity and anger. Her heart shaped face was framed by gentle copper curls that flowed past her shoulders and down to her upper back. Her lips were full, but formed a venomous scowl. To say the least, she looked much different than when they first met.

"Stop staring at me." She spoke up drawing Kylo's attention away.

"How can you tell I'm staring at you?" He hummed hinting towards his mask.

"I don't need to see your eyes. I can feel them and it is making me uncomfortable. You get to hide yourself I'm completely open to you." She hissed.

Kylo Ren rolled his shoulders. "My apologies." He said as the stepped into the room causing Runa to shift back.

"I guess it would only be fair." He placed his hands on his mask. It popped open and he pulled it off, holding it in his hands.

Runa's lips parted slightly. She wasn't expecting him to reveal himself to her. Her eyes quickly scanned over his face. He was pale with a furrowed brow and a very serious look to him. His face was littered with moles, speckled and spattered across is face. His hair was dark, almost as dark as the view behind her, and tousled and shaggy with a slight wave to it. His narrow chocolate yes stared at her, peering into her own grey ones. He looked rather young as well, older than her, but not the old man she envisioned in her head. She drew her eyes away from his and spoke,

"Where am I?" 

"You are on a First Order Cruiser." He revealed calmly, in a voice sounding much different than the one she heard earlier. 

"On a Cruiser? Why?" She questioned carefully.

"You are to see the Supreme Leader." He explained so causally.

"W-What?!" She gasped. Her breathing increased and she shook her head vigorously. "I don't understand! Sir Ren, or my lord, or whatever I'm supposed to call you- if this is about skipping the clearance on Garel I didn't know it was such a serious offense!" She pleaded frantically. 

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her. Was she truly that oblivious to her own abilities?

"I know nothing of a clearance check and that is not the reason you are here." 

She sighed, relieved, but her relief was short lived, "Then why?" 

Kylo exhaled through his nose and furrowed his brow, "You actually have no awareness about yourself."

Runa rose a brow in confusion, "Wha-?"

"Tell me, how did you get that trooper to leave?" He questioned suddenly.

"I asked..?"

"I find that unlikely. I gave him the order to stay with you."

"Anyone can be reasoned with-"

"No, not these troopers. They are trained to live and breathe orders." Kylo pressed.

"Well, I've done it before..."

"I bet you have."

"What?"

He took a step closer to her and stared directly in her eyes, "You are able to get people to do things, do things you want."

"That's not an uncommon thing..." She backed away.

"No, but it is rather easy for you isn't it? And that's not all. You can feel things see things before things happen. Sense everything around you."

She shook her head, "Stop...I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do. No one's ever explained these things to you. You would have no way of knowing, but now that I'm explaining it, you understand it now. You know what I'm speaking of. You have powers you can't explain, that many can't explain. I can help you."

She turned her head away from him, shutting her eyes tightly. She didn't like how he was making her feel. Singling her out like she was some sort of freak. She had managed to bury these worries long ago to have them resurface was pure torture. These 'mystical' powers were nothing but dust to her. She was fine. She was a farmer from Garel. Nothing more.

"You saw something when you touched the artifact. Connected with it." He brought up.

"I can't help that..." She whispered without realizing.

"You're like me, like the rest of the Knights." He proposed.

"No, I'm not." She protested.

"Search your feelings." He whispered to her.

She weakly shook her head. She denied everything her mind and her body said to her. After all the years she wished for answers, she no longer wanted to hear them. She opened her eyes and saw something she hadn't seen in sometime, her bare hands. She gasped softly and quickly hid them behind her back. Kylo Ren noticed this.

"Your hands...Let me see them."

Her eyes widened and she stepped back. "No." 

He stepped towards her and with each step she took two back. "Stay away from me." She mumbled. 

She felt her back hit the wall. She looked over her shoulder to see she was cornered. She placed her palms against the walls, trying to escape into them, dissolve into nothing. Kylo Ren pulled off one of his gloves. He was too close to her now for her to move. She pressed herself further against the wall, but she could not escape. He took his gloved hand and completely encased her wrist. His hands were large and his grip was steel. He rose his ungloved hand to hers.

"Please no..."She pleaded one final time.

He shushed her gently, before making that dreadful collide. She gasped and her eyes shot open, her head thrashing back. Hate, death, sorrow, confusion was all she felt now. She saw images of so many people run through her like fire. A vision of a storm, of fire, of death is what she saw. She could feel those she saw dying. There was so much pain now. She couldn't let go, couldn't keep them from coming. Trying to deceiver everything was impossible, it was all just too fast. And then he let go and she began to cry.

He was breathless and released her from his hold. She sunk to the floor, the tears now streaming from her eyes. 

He stared down to her, and couldn't help but feel pangs of guilt. "Does..that happen every time?"

He saw her nod lazily as she continued to sob. He tightened his lip and turned away from her. She must be Force Sensitive, it was the only explanation. Yet, there was still only one way to be perfectly sure. He strengthened his resolve, placing his mask back on. He brought her to her feet.

She had nothing left in her to protest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the kudos it really keeps me going!  
> Fun Fact: majority of this chapter was written to Jaymes Young's song Dark Star!


	4. Chapter 4

Runa tried to control her trembling, her eyes still red. She kept her gaze to the floor trying to hide them though she doubted anyone paid her any attention as this man escorted her down the halls of the First Order Cruiser. Even if she kept her eyes up it wasn't like she could have anytime to take anything in, he was walking rather fast and even with his hold on her it was difficult for her to keep up. Maybe he wanted to be rid of her, leave her with the Supreme Leader and let him decide her fate. That would certainly make a lot of sense and frankly, Runa didn't mind the thought of being rid of these Knights of Ren. However being left with the Supreme Leader didn't sound very pleasant either. It would have to come down to the lesser of two evils. 

As she thought further, she noticed she hand't been treated terribly while in the First Order's care. It certainly wasn't pleasant but there were no beatings or brutal torturing done to her like she had about on Garel. She never did buy into those rumors, but the day was not over yet. She looked up to her captor, whom stared straight ahead. She blinked at him a few times before shifting her gaze.

"What is you name?" She didn't know if it was curiosity or just a chance to end the silence that caused her to ask that question. She just hoped it wouldn't earn her any trouble. 

He looked down to her briefly before looking forward. She waited for a moment before sighing quietly. At the very least, her question had not brought her any trouble. Yet, being ignored wasn't the best feeling despite knowing that it was unlikely for him to acknowledge her. He technically wasn't in any position to answer her, she was the prisoner not him. Though Runa was not entirely sure what she was in this situation. All she knew was that she was going to be brought before the Supreme Leader. The First Order must consider her someone of worth or value for the Supreme Leader wanting to see her. Or maybe they thought she was dangerous? She found that rather unlikely. This had to be because of that stupid artifact she touched, an action she was regretting with each passing minute. She just couldn't leave things alone. 

"You may address me as Kylo Ren." He replied suddenly. She looked up to him with curiosity. She wasn't sure whether this was his name or a title. She came to the conclusion she shouldn't press any further. She, did however, think it was strange how he waited so long. She guessed it was him deciding if it was even worth sharing. The fact that he did share may indicate they would see each other often.

Runa did not know how to feel about this anymore. As she drew closer to seeing the illusive and ruthless Supreme Leader, her chances may serve better with the Knights. Then there was what Kylo Ren said, her being like him-like the other Knights. Was that truly possible? It made sense, what he said, but Runa was still rather unwilling to accept them. She had never gotten the chance to talk to anyone about her...problems. She could usually get a grip on herself, but being forced to tear apart old wounds in such a short time was clearly too much for her. Frankly she was embarrassed she cried like that, she hadn't cried like that in a very long time. And her tears never solved anything, only creating frustration. 

Kylo Ren stopped causing Runa to stop as well. They stood in front of a large metal door guarded by two black troopers with large blasters in their hands. Runa looked at the metalic door, gazing at her reflection in its surface. Her expression soured as she realized the Supreme Leader was right behind this door. She felt nothing but dread which weighed down on her. 

"Be respectful." Kylo Ren warned. 

"Of course." She responded immediately. 

Kylo Ren's gaze lingered on her, but she kept her eyes straight ahead. The two troopers stepped aside and door opened swiftly. Runa took a silent breath before hesitantly stepping through the doorway. It was humid and stuffy in the large room. How long are these doors usually sealed? It was dark too, only small beams of light shining through showing the dust floating in the room. She looked around the room, almost tripping as she spun around. She felt Kylo Ren push her back to try and speed up her pace. She stumbled forward, glaring at him. When she looked forward, her eyes widened. 

Sitting in a chair in the back of the room was a man. Or at least what was left of a man. The sickly man sat calmly in his chair, his large and lanky hands gripping onto the arm rests. He was frail and terribly thin. His face was mutilated and sported the color of curdled milk. Scars and burns covered his face, contorting his mouth and elongating his face. It was almost as of his skin could fall off the bone at any moment. Runa wasn't sure if he was even human. 

Kylo Ren knelt before him bowing his head. Runa knew she should do the same but her eyes were fixated on his pale blue ones. He narrowed those eyes at her, staring at her with intensity. He leaned forward, extending his scarred neck. Runa wanted to step back, but she was stuck. His eyes scanned over her body causing Runa to shiver.

"This is the woman I spoke of, Supreme Leader." Kylo interjected with his head still down.

The Supreme Leader crinkled his nose and turned to Kylo Ren. He brought his chin up and scowled slightly.

"Hush, Kylo Ren. You need not speak." He spoke slowly and with unexpected poise. 

He turned his attention back to Runa whom stared up to him, slack-jawed.

"What is your name?" He questioned.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she tried to respond. She began to struggle to form words and her lip quivered feverishly.

Kylo Ren looked to her then up to the Supreme Leader, "Her name is-"

"Kylo Ren." Was all the Supreme Leader said and Kylo brought his head back down once more, but looked at Runa out of the corner of his eye.

"My name is Runa Lonova." She finally managed to say. 

"From where do you hail, Runa Lonova?" Snoke questioned further, the sound of her name being said was almost sickly. 

"Garel...Supreme Leader." She addressed him formally. 

He looked at her for a moment, narrowing his eyes once again. "How old are you? Kylo Ren spoke of a woman, yet you do not look like a woman."

Runa couldn't help but feel insulted by that but it would be a warm day on Hoth before she would say anything.

"I've just turned twenty-two, Supreme Leader." She revealed.

"Hmm," He hummed, "You are still young. Good."

Runa gulped not liking how he said that. 

"Do you know why you were brought before me, Runa Lonova?" He asked.

She shook her head gently, "No, Supreme Leader."

"I see." He said leaning back into his seat, "It would appear Kylo Ren has withheld vital information from you." 

"Forgive me, Supreme Leader." Kylo Ren apologized, but the Supreme Leader did not acknowledge it.

"Allow me to inform you," He paused, "You are here because Kylo Ren thinks you to be Force Sensitive."

Runa rose a brow and cocked her head slightly, "Force Sensitive?" 

"Hnnn," he groaned before turning to Kylo Ren, "I see he failed to inform you of anything. One would think the Master of the Knights of Ren would be capable." 

Runa's eyes widened and she turned her attention to the shamed man. He was the leader of the Knights? He looked so young though. When he revealed himself to her there was almost an innocence to his face, a face that had not seen much war. A face of a young man who had just transitioned from boy to man. His face was serious yet held a mark of insecurity and doubt. She wondered just how much experience he had, but he was chosen to be leader for a purpose. And perhaps it was best not to find out what that purpose was.

"Considering you know nothing of the force, I shall allow Kylo Ren to explain why he brought you here." He gestured for Kylo Ren to rise.

He nodded slightly before rising to his feet. He stood tall with his shoulders back, presenting perfect posture. Runa looked to him, curious as to what he was going to say.

"She seems to have acute sense and knowledge of the feelings and forces around her. She was able to persueade a trooper when he was under strict orders. She is also able to receive impressions from people. I informed you she received images from the artifact, it would appear she can receive visions from people as well."

Runa inhaled in shame. Her most personal insecurity being thrown out on the table like that was unsettling to say the least, but Kylo Ren did not stop there.

"She has little control over it, and she cannot seem to grasp onto what she sees. But I believe with your guidance she can learn." 

The Supreme Leader sighed deeply before turning back to Runa causing her to jump slightly. 

"Care to elaborate?" He offered with a wave of his hand.

"I.." Her voice cracked. She turned to Kylo Ren for help, but he offered none. She quickly returned her attention back to the Supreme Leader who waited for her to speak. If he was anything like Kylo Ren, then she shouldn't keep him waiting. However, Runa did not know what to say. She had never talked about it before and wasn't exactly sure what she should tell him. But she had to say something.

"When I was younger, it wasn't as prominent or at least I didn't think so. I thought everyone could do what I do. It wasn't until I was older when things began to get worse. I would get more and more visions from touching people. It was no longer just a impression I was getting. I could see what they had seen and felt what they felt. That was the worst part. If they were to get a cut on their hand I would feel that pain on my own hand. I've tried to manage it, but it turned more into me trying to forget about it." She revealed slowly. 

Runa felt a strange relief when she let it all out. She had never done that before. She thought she would never need to, but the loss of weight from her body clearly told her a different story. After all this time trying to forget about it and trying to ignore it, finally letting someone know was refreshing. But there was still doubt in her. As much as it was a relief to get it off her chest it was ten times more of a terror. She had entrusted his information to those whom she could not trust. Those who held her life in their hands. She needed to wait to see how they would respond, and the wait was agony. But finally the Supreme Leader spoke.

"I have seen your kind before. They have always proven...useful." He concurred. 

So he was determining her worth. To see if she could be of use to him. Runa did not appreciate that in the slightest. She was not an animal.

"I will determine if what you say is true." He leaned forward as he spoke and stared at Runa intensely. 

Runa gasped sharply and she felt her body constrict and stiffen. It was almost like everything in her body stopped. Her heartbeat, the blood in her veins, all frozen. She could feel him, the Supreme Leader, in her body. Exploring her thoughts and memory like it was a game. Never in her life had she felt so exposed, so violated. She wanted to fight against it but knew she shouldn't or if she would even be able to, his influence was too strong. She groaned as her chest tightened, making her breathing harder and harder. He was roaming through her mind, her most personal moments, like they belonged to him. 

And then he let go. With a large inhale Runa could breathe again. Her breathing was quick and shallow as she regained control of herself. Her lip wouldn't stop quivering and her eyes wouldn't stop watering. She blinked back the the tears, she had done enough crying. She bit the inside of her cheek to distract herself and tell herself she was in control. 

"What you say is true." The Supreme Leader confirmed calmly, leading Runa to shakily gaze up at him. "And you are still standing. A good sign indeed." 

Runa narrowed her eyes in anger, but she tried her best to hide it. She was surprised at herself for not toppling over, but he made seem like such a game. The Supreme Leader turned to Kylo Ren with a stare of approval.

"Your assumptions were correct, she is indeed Force Sensitive." 

Kylo Ren stayed silent giving only a nod in response. The Supreme Leader waved his hand forward and Runa heard the door open behind her. She kept her eyes straight but heard the footsteps of the troopers walk in with haste. They stopped and bowed down respectfully once they got closer.

"Take her to the mediation sector. Keep her there until I am finished speaking with Kylo Ren." The Supreme Leader instructed swiftly. 

The troopers nodded in unison before grabbing her by each arm. The Supreme Leader shook his head. "That won't be necessary." 

"Yes, Supreme Leader Snoke." They let go of her quickly and turned around to escort her out. She gave the Supreme Leader and Kylo Ren one last look before slowly following the troopers out. She could run she thought, or make the troopers take her elsewhere. But she didn't want to do that and she knew that the Supreme Leader was well aware of that too. But it wasn't the Supreme Leader that scared her. Her unwillingness to try and flee is what was truly terrifying.

\---

Kylo watched Runa leave with the two troopers. Her cooperation coming as a surprise. His gaze lingered after she left, but he had matters to discuss with Snoke. 

"What shall happen to her?" He questioned turning to his Master. 

"First Order First sensitives are either trained or destroyed." Snoke said simply.

"And?" Kylo wondered. 

"She will be trained." Snoke said firmly. "I shall summon the rest of the Knights. It would be best for all of them to be informed of this." 

Kylo almost sighed relieved. Bringing her here was quite the hassle and for her to be deemed worthless would have made it a huge waste of time. Then there was the fact that, and he hated to admit it, he still felt guilty about exploiting her like he did earlier. She also had to endure Snoke's invasion, which he knew wasn't pleasant. Though, she was able to endure so she must be capable.  It also wasn't very common to have a potential knew addition to the Force Sensitive section of the First Order. Especially one, with high enough abilities to be trained properly.  She was also young and impressionable. A rather good candidate for a new apprentice. 

 

Kylo was rather hesitant about his fellow Knights arriving on the Cruiser. Whenever they were all in the same place, tensions were high. There was a reason they were split apart for missions. A room full of brooding dark side adepts was a sweet recipe for disaster. Though with Snoke's presence there was no doubt they would be more tame. Yet, even with Snoke lingering over them, it would be no picnic on Naboo. There was little Kylo could do about it now. They had already been summoned. Luckily, some Knights showed via holo as they were too far to reach the Cruiser in time. Yet, the tensions remained.  When they were summoned, Snoke had not mentioned the discovery of a new Force Sensitive. As far as Kylo was concerned, his Knights knew not why they were here. Except for perhaps Malaz and Te'na. They were with him when Runa was discovered and knew of Kylo's plans to test her abilities. If they did know, they made no mention of it. Though they would find out soon.

"Knights of Ren." Snoke called, gathering their attention.  "There is something of importance that was brought to my attention that needs to be discussed."

Snoke looked over to Kylo, "It has been revealed to me that a fellow Force Sensitive has been discovered."

A thick tension seemed to fill the room as Snoke spoke. The Knights stood in full attention, almost on their heels to hear what Snoke would say next. A Force Sensitive meant two things to them. Either a new addition or another causality. Each Knight had their own opinion but most enjoyed the hunt. 

"She was revealed to be a mystic in the force. She lacks experience but that can quickly be mended as she is young and open to our influence. The First Order would benefit from her training." Snoke paused, leaving a soft silence take the room. No doubt, the Knights were thinking about what Snoke said. If Snoke deems her useful,  she would be trained, shaped and modeled into a Knight. 

"I feel it appropriate for her to become an apprentice." Snoke revealed with a steady and calm tone. 

A small commotion broke out between the Knights and they looked to one another, trying to decipher each other's thoughts. A new apprentice under the First Order was a rare occurrence. Snoke's decision on this was rather quick as well. However, it would not be the first time he had decided something like this so quickly. Another Knight meant more progress, more opportunities to locate artifacts and, of course, it was added manpower. Kylo was interested in the possibility of training his own apprentice. An opportunity unknown to most of the Knights. A privilege lost to time.

Snoke had always overseen the training of the Force Sensitive Knights and even those that were not adept in the force. However, a new and virtually untrained apprentice would require much time and Snoke had little of that. Kylo reasoned he could oversee her training. However, he was not solely doing this to relief his Master of stress. He was secretly having trouble coping with his own conflicts and he was sure that it was becoming less and less of a secret. However, taking an apprentice could help him become more infused with the dark side. What better way to become more adept than to teach it to someone else? He could further himself through teaching her the ways of the dark side, the ways of the sith. His confidence would grow as she learned. He would focus on training her in the ways of the dark side so there would be no room for the pull to the light.

Kylo stepped forward, presenting himself in front of Snoke, "I would like to train her, Supreme Leader."

All the attention turned to him and a silence fell upon the room. Snoke leaned forward and raised a brow. "And why should you be allowed to train her personally above the other Knights?"

Well, Kylo was their leader, and he located her. However, an answer like that would not suffice. He would need to play this wisely.

"I believe trust can easily be established." Kylo started simply.

"You will need to explain further, Kylo Ren."

"She has spent enough time with me where she could trust me easily. Through that trust, she would then be open to my influence and then proceed with training more smoothly." Kylo explained.

"Hmm..."Snoke thought, "Though the issue remains that there are Knights among you who have personal and specific training for what her abilities entail." Snoke pointed out and rightfully so. There were Knights who came to Snoke with similar if not the exact same abilities as her. They would be able to teach her rather quickly as they had first hand experience. However, Kylo thought he could offer more and frankly he felt like he needed her to help himself.

"That is true, one could train her specifically in that. However, I believe I could train her in all aspects. With my training she would learn everything about the dark side and would become powerful. You said so yourself, Supreme Leader, I have the perfect balance. I could teach her that balance." Kylo concluded strongly, hoping his stone tone masked his inner feelings of doubt. He hoped Snoke could not see through him and see the true reason as to why he wanted to train her.

Snoke gazed to Kylo with a hard and dour expression. Kylo stood strong and uninitiated, or at least he told himself to act that way, as Snoke analyzed him. His fellow Knights also seemed interested in what Snoke would say as well. Thankfully, for Kylo, he was Snoke's favorite pet.

"You've made a valid point, Kylo Ren. I will allow you to train her but she will only become a Knight when I deem her ready. If you fail to present a worthy Knight you will be held accountable." Snoke warned.

Kylo Ren bent the knee, "I thank you for this opportunity. I will not fail you." A weight on shoulders formed giving him more anxiety and for a brief moment he almost regretted wanting an apprentice. 

Snoke hummed wryly, "Yes, we shall see. Now, does anyone have any objections to the arrangement?" The Knights took this more as a hypothetically question, one that should not be answered. If Snoke was unsure of the new apprenticeship he would have said so. He actually seemed rather keen on the idea. None of the Knights spoke their mind.  

"You may return to your active duties." Snoke concluded the meeting with a wave of his hand. Almost simultaneously, communications cut off and dispersed. The Knights began to leave, bowing respectfully before trailing away until only Kylo remained.

"Shall I inform her of the decision?" Kylo questioned.

Snoke nodded his head slowly, "Yes." 

And with that,  Kylo stood and began to leave, but one finally call from Snoke made his stop in his tracks. 

"You best be successful with your new apprentice, Kylo Ren, I sense something of great importance to come from her." Snoke informed gravely.

Kylo said nothing, only lowering his head slightly before continuing on his way. The pressure was on him now and the future was unknown to even him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy. Cannoli. 60 Kudos?!!? Thank you all so much! Seeing that is super motivating!! Lots of love <3
> 
> Sorry to cut it off there. I noticed the chapter was getting pretty long so I chopped it in half. So sorry, just thought it would be too much reading.  
> Thank you everyone who is reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

Kylo's mind still beamed with anxiety as he approached the meditation sector. Snoke had instructed him to groom his new apprentice into the model of a flawless and faultless Knight. Kylo knew Snoke would not so easily allow him to take Runa as an apprentice. Kylo may be the strongest of Knights and Snoke's favorite but that did not mean things would be easy for him. Snoke's growing suspicion of Kylo's inner conflict would only add to his challenges. Kylo was relying on this new apprentice more than he wanted to admit. However, he was thinking about too much in a short time.

At this moment he had been granted an apprentice of his own. Something that has never been done before. He should be grateful for that alone. Dwelling on his insecurities was only sinking him further. When he's alone, he tells himself he had no insecurities, that he is strong and powerful enough to ward off any temptations, and that his past meant nothing. He had no past, it had died as soon as he donned the name Kylo Ren . 

There was no time for this now. He needed to retrieve Runa and begin her training in order to satisfy Snoke. Her young age and inexperience would be a challenge. Though Kylo told himself to remain confident. He was the strongest, he could over come any weakness she possessed. He would shape her into something Snoke would be proud of. He had to be sure of that.

He wasted no time retrieving her. Immediately entering the meditation center as soon as he approached it. He saw her sitting quietly in a small chair towards the back of the room. She paid him no attention, probably already knowing he would come for her. He approached her slowly and silently, staring at her through his mask. She looked surprisingly serene, a stark contrast to the last time Kylo had seen her. She stared straight ahead, her gaze fixating on nothing in particular. Her lips opened slightly, taking in a small breath. 

"I'm..." She began softly, "still not sure what it means to be Force Sensitive. I know you said I was like you and the Supreme Leader, Snoke was it? He said I definitely was one. But I still don't understand. Maybe I'm just an idiot." Her voice was a soft whisper, no longer filled with fear and dread but pervaded repose and stillness. It would seem her time alone had given her some peace of mind.

Kylo Ren relaxed and slowly took a seat across from her. Her eyes met his and they stared at each other for a time was that unknown to the both of them. All this preparation and self-motivation all seemed to dissipate as Kylo stared at her. He no longer knew where to begin.

"You're..."Kylo paused, "not an idiot. Being a Force Sensitive means you possess the abilities to manipulate energy around you. It makes you strong. Makes you better than others."

"Better than others?" She questioned.

"Yes, it gives you strength that little can have and no one can match. You can bend the will of others weaker than you and do things unimaginable compared to the common man." Kylo boasted proudly.

"I see." Runa breathed. Another silence broke out between the two. Kylo needed to inform her of her fate, but there was no easy way of doing that.

"The First Order has an obligation towards Force Sensitives." He tried to ease her into it. Tried to 'sugar coat it' as best as he could, but she was not falling for it.

She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest, "The last time I checked, I was not an item to be claimed. I am still a person, Force Sensitive or not. 

Kylo sighed, "Runa-"

She sharply cut him off, "I was perfectly happy on Garel before all this." 

"Were you though?" Kylo proposed, gesturing towards her hands.

Runa slumped her shoulders and let her arms unfold, "Don't. I know what you are going to say."

"Than you must know what I'm offering you."

"Yes, you are giving me the fun choice of either death or joining something I know so little about." She sneered.

Kylo shook his head, "No. You could easily be put under a different chain of command. Stationed on some lowly planet and live out the rest of your days there. But that isn't what you what, is it Runa?"

Runa turned her head away, "I...don't know what I want." 

"You want understanding. That is being offered to you right now. You can learn control." Kylo thought is almost ironic teaching control to someone who was meant to be an adept in the dark side of the force. When he trained under Snoke he was taught about passion and the thrill of emotions. However, there needed to be some control and self restraint or else your emotions would collapse onto each other. Kylo's unique ancestry gave him control and power. Something he was hoping he could teach her. He saw Runa lightly shake her head and close her eyes. 

"You would learn to control your abilities and use them on your command not on their's. You would get a hold of yourself again and learn the power I can offer you."

"I'm afraid." She revealed shakily.

"That is good. That fear can give you power. Never forget that. Fear is powerful." Kylo assured her. She remained silent for sometime, keeping her eyes softly closed. She bit her bottom lip hard and Kylo was almost positive it would bruise. She was heavily conflicted, Kylo could feel it. He knew that conflict all too well. 

"I feel your conflict. Tell me about it." He offered hoping he could persuade her with what he knew of conflict. 

She opened her eyes, and looked to him pleadingly. "...I should be honored by what you are offering me. My family supported the Empire and if they knew the position I was in, I know they would be so proud." She paused, her lips slightly curled into a small smile. She thought back to her family, remembering the stories they told her. Stories about the Empire and even mystical powers that she had not believed in until now. However, this was not the time or place to reminisce.

"I know I need this too," she began again pulling away from her fond memories, "Trust me I know I need this, but I'm not sure I want it. It's such a big change from what I'm used to." She began to trail off towards the end, but Kylo was quick to respond.

"You will not go through this change alone. I will guide you. I have decided to take you as an apprentice." Kylo finally revealed. 

Her eyes widened at him and her arms dropped to her side. She leaned forward slightly, trying to determine if he was serious or not. He was very serious. She slowly looked away, her eyes now fixated on the floor. She began to shake her head and mumble incoherently.

"Do I have no say in this?" In who will teach me?" She asked still looking to the floor.

"That's not how these things work." Kylo replied almost with a mocking laugh.

Runa thought for a moment. She was to be trained by a Knight of Ren, the Master of the Knights of Ren. She definitely knew if her family was here they would jump at this chance for her. Runa was beginning to understand now. Kylo Ren may have said there were other fates for her, but what was wanted was for her to be trained as a Knight. Her, a Knight of Ren. The opportunity was terrifying but exciting. If her fate was this, then it would be best for her to trained by the strongest of them.  She questioned  why he would choose her as an apprentice. He did not know her and she did not know him. Though, if he was going to train her that would change. Yet, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know him. But this was still an opportunity for her to take her life back. To be able to walk the streets without constantly thinking about brushing up against someone. She really did need this, and deep down she wanted this too.

"I'm beginning to understand." She brought her head up and looked to him with strong eyes. "And I am honored you have chosen me to become your apprentice." She bowed her head in respect.

Kylo exhaled quietly and a small weight was lifted from him. A new path had opened up for the both of them. Now all that was needed was for them to walk this path together.

"Am I to...refer to you a certain way? I think that's how it goes...Sir Ren?" She tested awkwardly. 

Kylo could not help but smile slightly under his mask. Her innocence and ignorance was a refreshing amusement. "Try again." He toyed lightly.

"Uh.." She thought, "Master Ren?"

 He nodded approvingly to her.

"Oh. It's kinda weird saying that." She laughed shortly, "I've never had to address anyone like that. But I will try my best." She offered awkwardly.

Kylo Ren frowned slightly. Recalling on words that were spoken to him long ago. "'Trying will not suffice'" He repeated aloud softly, almost unaware that he did so. He pushed himself up from the seat and approached the middle of the room. "We will notify your kin of this." 

Runa frowned somberly, "That won't be necessary."

Kylo turned to face her, "Oh?"

"They died in one of the first Resistance attacks on Garel." She said softly and almost regrettably.

Kylo hummed softly. Many of the individuals in the First Order knew loss. It was something to be remembered for their personal gain. A reminder of vengeance. Kylo recalled to what Snoke had told him of loss. "Use your anger from this. It will serve you well in training." He instructed her, using Snoke's words.

She looked to him curiously, "I'm not angry. The Resistance did not mean to kill my parents. They just happened to get caught in the blaze. I was upset but there was nothing that could have been done. It was.. an accident." 

Kylo looked at her. She knew so little. Training would be a difficult process indeed. "You say that now, but perhaps during your training you will see things differently. Follow me, there is much to do." He turned on his heels and quickly left the room, hearing Runa's swift footsteps close behind.

\---

 Runa stayed close behind her new Master. Man, it was going to take some getting used to. This still all seemed like a haze. She was half expecting to wake up, suddenly back in her bed on Garel. She tried pinching herself but she still remained here, staring at her Master's back. She had never been an apprentice under anyone before. The closest thing to that would be learning how to harvest crops from her father and learning how to get a better price when selling. But from what Master Ren said, it would seem she was able to do that on her own accord. Runa began to think back about all the times she possibly had done that, influenced the minds of others. The thought of her doing so made her feel conflicted, a now reoccurring theme within her thoughts. 

To able to change the minds of people, to make them do things, could open up so many possibilities, but it seemed dishonest and invasive. She needed to stop. She was going to be trained to be a Knight. She could benefit the First Order much easier then selling and donating crops to their officers. Yet, she could not deny who she was but she would surely try. This had to be what she had been looking for her entire life. Surely she was destined for more than just a simple farmer. Or at least, that is what she told herself as she walked. 

The bottom line is she needed to be in control of herself. That she knew for sure. She also knew the training would be difficult, probably the most difficult thing she would ever have to do. But she had to do it. Master Ren brought her onto a a shuttle, much like the one she was taken to before. Troopers saluted as the boarded, a strange sight considering she has been practically manhandled by them prior to this. She couldn't help but smile at the change. 

She followed her Master to the cockpit, where a trooper began piloting the shuttle. "Bring us to my Destroyer." He ordered the pilot. 

"Yes, sir." The pilot complied, putting the coordinates into the terminal. He turned back to Runa and gestured for her to sit. She took her seat next to him, staring out of the cockpit window. The pilot launched into lightspeed, a view Runa had never seen before. It was almost mesmerizing, the twists of blues and whites pulling together to create of whirl of light. As she continued to stare at the light flying past the shuttle she began to shutter. This was really happening, all of this was real.

"I'm scared." She quivered softly.

Kylo Ren looked to her before returning his gaze ahead. "Remember what I told you, apprentice." He informed her calmly. 

Runa blinked slowly and nodded. "Yes, Master."

She repeated the words spoken to her over and over. 

_Fear is power._

She would surely be powerful then, because by the stars she was terrified.

\--- 

 Everything moved so fast when she arrived on the Star Destroyer. Kylo Ren had moved her along swiftly, informing her she would begin training immediately. There would be no rest for her, not yet. He left her to change into her now assigned robes. Runa assumed black was the theme among the First Order. Considering that was the color of almost everyone's uniform. Her new clothes fit her strangely. She had never worn anything like this before. Though, she guessed even Knights had a 'uniform' so to speak.

She picked at the cloth between her thumb and index finger. Minus the small fabric that ran between her thumb and index finger, her hands were completely bare. Kylo Ren had told her if she was earn control she would need to be exposed. This scared her, but he assured her that he would guide her. It was strange, she noted, when she thought of a Master and apprentice relationship she thought of slaves. That was all she had to go on. She thought having a Master meant they would be cruel and harrowing. But so far, her Master had been rather civil with her. However, she had not known him long. Anything was subject to change. Yet, right now, in this moment, he treated her fairly. She could only hope it would last.

He brought her to a small enclosed room and instructed her to meditate, to feel the forces around her. He told her to concentrate on his voice when she lost concentration. With her eyes closed and the stillness of the room, she began to feel something. A sense completely foreign to her. Had this really been around her all this time? It would appear she lacked the appropriate concentration to notice it before. And now that she did notice it, she didn't want to let go. 

As she relaxed, Kylo spoke to her of the Force and its natures, both dark and light. Told her of a balance needed to be fully adept in the Force. Answers to her unvoiced questions started to flow in and she finally felt a bit of understanding. As her understanding grew, she became more lost in her feelings. She could sense everything around her and then some. Out of her twenty-two years of life she had never felt such bliss.

Suddenly Kylo Ren extended his hand out to her. Her eyes flashed open and she caught his wrist in her hand. She looked to his wrist then to him, unsure if she should have done that. However, a pleased sigh would indicate she had done well.

"Good. Very good. The Force heightens you senses and your reflexes. Remember that for combat training." He informed her, his wrist gently slipping out of her grasp. 

"Combat training?" She stiffened slightly.

"Yes, you must be capable in both physical fighting as well as mental." He told her strictly. 

Runa bit the inside of her cheek and nodded slowly. He sensed her worry and spoke again, "Do not dwell on that. We must continue with this first. I think it is time to move on to more pressing matters though."

Runa immediately knew what he meant and reflectively shot her hands behind her back.  Kylo Ren was quick to pull her arms forward, holding them down to the table. 

"I'm not-" She began but Kylo Ren cut her off quickly.

"It doesn't matter if you are ready or not. Trust in what I am teaching you. Don't doubt me and you will succeed." He instructed her firmly.

She staggeringly nodded her head and began to release the tension her arms. Once he felt them relax he let go of her, but was ready if he needed to grab them again. And knowing her hesitation and fear, he would surely have to. This was stressful for Kylo as well. He was trusting her with communing with him. If she were to see the wrong thing or become too over stimulated, a rather large problem would occur. And Kylo wouldn't be sure how to fix it. 

He turned Runa's hands over so her palms were facing up. He could see her trembling and her fingers began to curl instinctively. Kylo removed the glove from his hand, placing in down on the table. His hand hovered over her's and even he was hesitant to touch her. The previous attempt with this ended with her seeing visions of the Jedi he had killed before becoming Kylo Ren. He didn't want to experience that again and having someone else experience must have been...

Stop, he told himself. That part of him was gone. It never existed. Continue with her training. 

"Remember what I have told you so far." He reminded her.

"Yes Master." She stammered lowly keeping her eyes glued to her hand. 

He waited for her to nod before beginning the fateful collide. 

Runa gasped and she struggled to keep her eyes open. So many feelings, so many vision. She couldn't capture them all. A loud ringing bounced around in her head, filling her body with pain. She heard him say 'focus' or at least she thought she did. There were so many voices.

_Remember what he told you. Remember what he told youRememberwhathe_

She repeated over and over, yet she couldn't grasp on what he had actually said to her. 'Focus,' she heard again, 'I'm not letting go.' She painstakingly shut her eyes tightly and bit her lip. 

_The Force willeggdgth_

She tried to remember, decoding all of the words that flowed together.

_The Force will set youdddtefesssfres_

She was getting further now, she could do this. She was trying, but trying would not suffice. No, she needed to do this. There was no in between.

_The Force will set you free_

_The Force will set me free._

Everything stopped. The voices, the images, all gone now. It was only her and him now. She opened her eyes and saw Kylo Ren staring at her. However, she could feel her own hands on his. She felt the sweat of her palms, the tremble of her fingers on his hand and his breathing in her chest.  She blinked slowly and everything was tranquil. 

Then it ended with his hand pulling away from hers. She snapped back into herself, slowing bringing her hand up to her face. For the first time in a long while, she was not afraid of this sight. 

"You did well, apprentice." He complimented. 

"I didn't know I could that." She breathed wistfully.

"I will show you things you had no idea you were able of. That is the power of the dark side." He said proudly, almost boasting.

Runa lowered her hand still lost in a dream like state, "I see, then please Master, show me more."  

"Of course, my apprentice. I plan to offer you much." He told her hoarsely, gesturing for her to return her hand to him. 

They repeated this hour after hour until time had become a lost concept to them. Each time, he would test her abilities further. He instructed her to hone in on one sensation and stay there, learning and seeing everything she could. It was hard, and tremendously tiring on her body, but she was determined. At the end, it left her gasping for breath as sweat ran down her brow. Her shoulders were slouched and bags had formed under her eyes. She was worn out and exhausted. All she wanted was sleep, but her Master would give her none.

"You've done exceedingly well today." He brought himself up, sliding his glove over his hand as he did so. "Come now, it is time for combat training."

She groaned quietly, as she struggled to her feet. "No rest?" She questioned aloud, against her better judgement. 

Kylo Ren turned sharply to her sending her a glare through his masks, "There is no room for any rest now, You must be trained immediately."

"I'm sorry Master. Forgive my ignorance." She lowered her head.

"You can make up for it combat training." Was all he said before leading her out of the small room.

\--- 

The room she stood in was dark with only small floor lights providing visibility. A counter was placed a few feet away from her, housing different types of training weapons. They looked to be variations of vibroweapons. She had seen such weapons before, they were quite popular among the bounty hunters and smugglers in Garel City.

"Choose your weapon." He instructed her suddenly, jolting her from her thoughts.

She nodded and took a step forward, but Kylo Ren grabbed her shoulder tightly. "Not like that. Choose how I taught you earlier."

Runa complied and gently raised her arm up and extended her hand forward. She closed her eyes and concentrated on what she wanted. Her eyes sprung open and a vibroblade flew into her grasp. She looked at it, slightly tipping her head as she turned it in her hands. It beamed with electric energy causing a low buzzing sound to emit from the blade. She held the hilt tightly and spun it around in her hands a few times, watching the trail of energy it left behind.

She heard a small crackling and turned to see, Kylo Ren had unsheathed his lightsaber. She stumbled back, instinctively. She stared down at the saber, her eyes illuminating red. It was rugged and torn. It looked dangerously unstable, like it could break at any swing. The light sparked and sputtered wildly like a storm. It was a crude weapon to say the least. A dangerous weapon for a dangerous man, how poetic. 

She stared at her Master questionably. She was to fight him with while he wielded a lightsaber? Surely, that wild thing would cut right through her. Nevertheless, she brought he vibroblade up defensively. She only hoped this thing had been modified enough to withstand a lightsaber strike.  

She remembered back to what he had said earlier about reflexes. She would need to trust in the Force to tell her what was to come. It sounded absolutely ridiculous, but that was all she had going for her in this situation. 

He swung first, and with great force. She gasped quickly and stepped back, tripping over her feet. Kylo waited until she regained her footing before striking again. She struggled to keep up and block his attacks. He was like a berserker, fighting like a ferocious beast. He was predatory and reckless as he swung at her, like he didn't care if he got hurt in the process. 

He gave her a harsh kick to gut, which caused her to yelp in pain and fall to ground. He stopped, watching her writhe on the ground.

"Get up." He ordered.

Runa held her stomach as she reached her feet and this time Kylo Ren did not wait until she was ready. 

He swung at her fast and hard, much to her dismay. He was too fierce for her. His strength was untamed and unmatched.

She managed to deflect a strike from her face to her arm, causing it be seared by the heat from his saber. She cried out and held her arm. It wasn't close enough to cut or burn, but stars it hurt. Kylo Ren paced behind her, spinning his saber in his hand. 

"Giving up now?" He taunted.

Runa's eyes burned and her mouth turned into a hateful scowl. Anger built up inside her as the pain in her arm grew. She grit her teeth together, grinding them forcefully. She gripped the hilt of the vibroblade tightly, causing her knuckles to go white. She feverishly whipped around, slashing at him with furiosity and strength. She lashed out at him with all she had and at last she was on the offensive. She brought her arm up and struck her Master in the face with all her might. He stumbled back, grabbing his chin. 

Runa panted with exertion. Her arms firmly at her side and her hands in fists. Slowly, the anger subsided and her breathing normalized. Her eyes widened in realization at what she'd done. Kylo Ren held his chin in his hand, covering his mouth. When he pulled his hand away he saw a small amount of blood covering the black fabric of his glove. He looked to Runa, who was wide eyed with fear. 

"I'm sorry...!" She whispered worriedly. 

He rolled his shoulders back and sighed, "Remember that anger. Remember it every time you fight. Your anger will turn into rage. And your rage will give you power." 

She slackened and parted her lips in surprise. She thought for sure her head was about to be rolling on the ground. She would remember this moment. The moment where she felt powerful.

"Now," Kylo Ren brought his saber up. "Again."

\---

"You may stay here when training is not commencing or when you need rest." Kylo Ren opened a door to a small living space. Runa stepped into the room and looked around. It was a simple room really, a decent sized bed, counters, and a window overlooking the stars. 

"I'll send a protocol droid over to you. Use it how you will." He waved his hand carelessly before turning around to leave.

She looked to him and folded her hands neatly, "Thank you." 

He merely hummed in response before stepping into the doorway. However, he stopped. He slowly put his hand on the door frame as he thought. He felt like he really needed to get this off his chest.

"Apprentice," he called to her, "About earlier, when we first spoke. I just wanted to.-" He cleared his throat awkwardly, "I wanted to apologize for your discomfort." 

He kept his back to her as he waited for her response, if she even would have one. It shouldn't matter to him anyway. And yet...

"I.." She spoke up, gaining his attention, "I forgive you. I appreciate the apology, Master Ren." She responded apprehensively.  

He carefully looked over his shoulder at her, he almost said something else. But he straightened his resolve. 

"Be ready for when I come for you." He said dryly, leaving her without waiting for a response.

 

 Runa purred hoarsely as the warm water from the shower danced against her skin. Finally she could rest. She stretched her arms up, letting out a long needed sigh. She ran her hands over her skin, smoothing the water down her body. She felt like she should feel uncomfortable or strange about that had transpired, but she didn't. She felt happily calm and relaxed. Her thoughts instead, resided with her Master, Kylo Ren.  

His sudden apology to her had come as a shock to say the least. She didn't expect him to apologize for anything and yet he did. He was sorry for causing her discomfort. It made her smile that he actually cared to apologize. After all, he was just doing his job at the time.

Her time spent with him had been...pleasant, even with that rabid combat training. She began to think that this apprenticeship wouldn't be so bad after all. He had helped her learn some control already. Sure it wasn't perfect, but it was start. He told her within no time she would have a handle on it. 

She thought back to earlier when he helped her through her visions. She remembered the feeling of his hand on hers, the surprising warmth of his skin and soon the thoughts began to flow. What would his hand feel like on other parts of her body? Would his skin warm hers? What would it feel like with his body to hers...

She shook her head furiously, a small flush on her cheek. And it was not from the hot water. He was her superior and her Master. Thoughts like these were not appropriate nor respectful. 

But by stars were they lovely.

His hands on her hips, roaming her body. His lips pressed to her neck, just where she liked it...

_Stop!_ She screamed at herself. She was acting no better than a Tusk cat in heat. She chocked these arousing thoughts to being worked up from the day. She needed sleep. Yes, sleep would calm her down.

\---

Kylo stood in his room, his hands behind his back. He looked out to the nebula show cased in front of him, his mask delicately resting on the stand next to his bed. Usually at this hour he would be communing with his grandfather's mask. But tonight he stayed in his room, staring at the dance of stars. 

His mind continuously went to his apprentice, to Runa. Her training was going well, despite his initials worries. She was no where near ready, but she was actually quite the quick learner. She had done well today, better than he expected. And the combat training was thrilling to say the least. 

When she had struck him the first time, he felt angered but he also felt a sense of accomplishment. She had shown him her anger, a taste of the dark side. He thumbed over his lip, it was still sore from when she busted it. Seeing her so surprised in her abilities, seeing her full lips part...He wondered how well his bloody lips could mingle with her clean ones.

He inhaled sharply and shifted uncomfortably as thoughts he had never experienced before rolled through his mind. 

Her hands were so soft earlier, they could easily run through his hair...could pull on his hair. Was the rest of her as soft?

He loudly cleared his throat, jarring himself away from his perversions. She was far too young for him he reasoned. Wait how old was she? Twenty-Two? Well in that case...

He ran a hand up his face and through his hair to try and distract him. He turned away from the peering nebula, resting himself on his bed. There was no time for fantasies like that, even if he greatly enjoyed them. He needed to rest and concentrate on training his apprentice. 

Anything else should not be considered a priority and be forgotten about. 

 

A new path had opened for them indeed...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just disregard what I said about chapters being too long because this chapter is loooong. I wanted to get past the "Act I" of this story so I wrapped it all up here. I lowkey was going to write a love makin scene (and I'm still tempted to add it in now) but it would seem too porny (lol). So instead I wrote them having inappropriate thoughts about each other.
> 
> With "Act II" on the way there will probably be a time skip next chapter, just a small one though. Most likely the next time we see the two, they will have feelings for each other and they will be addressed. If I were to write out every detail of there developing relationship it would take probably 10 chapters. I'm not gonna make you wait that long for the loving time.
> 
> Thank you all so much 106 Kudos <3 It means a lot!  
> If you have any questions or anything feel free to comment!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is a hard thing to express.

Runa concentrated on the bits of metal pieces placed in front of her. She had been doing this for hours now, not to mention the all the time she spent preparing the days before. She was determined to finish this today. She slowly raised her finger up, guiding small metal bits to fit into one another. She thought of this as a puzzle to help her through it. She had always been good at those, surely she would do fine with this.

It was a great honor to build a lightsaber. Especially on her own. She had complete free range and control over what she could make. She had a few ideas in mind in the days building up to this moment, but none of them seemed too practical in this business. She wasn't nervous though. In fact, she was relatively calm, peacefully gliding the pieces into a hilt. 

Runa had chosen Zersium as the base metal for the hilt. It used to be a more rare metal until large deposits of it were found on several moons. The First Order now had plenty to around so Runa held no qualms about using it. Slowly, she let her hand rest by her side and her eyes flutter.

She slowly breathed through her nose and allowed the metals and bolts to raise into the air. Guided by an unseen force, they began to fuse together. Assembling themselves into a smooth elongated cylinder. However, it took a great deal of time to have each assembled piece bind together. A rather tedious process. If one part did not fit with the rest, then it must be scrapped and remade. A repeated process until everything was perfect. Needless to say, it would take a significant amount of time.

 Abruptly, the door to her meditation chambers opened causing her concentration to be severely jarred. Her eyes flew open and the bits of metals dropped to the ground with a crash. Pieces of already assembled parts breaking. Runa stared at the broken pieces slack-jawed. 

She deadpanned the cadet standing in the doorway. He stared at her with wide eyes having dropped his datapad on the durasteel plated floor. He knew is had royally screwed up. Runa rose to her feet and narrowed her eyes at the frightened cadet. He looked like he was fresh out of the academy. Did the First Order really release such young recruits?

"Did they not teach you how to knock in the academy, boy?" She glowered at him with annoyance. 

"A-po-Apologizes ma'am." The cadet struggled to say, his body trembling and his lips quivering. 

"What. Do. You. Want." Runa demanded lowly, visibly angered by his interruption. Crafting a lightsaber was no easy task. It took hours if not days to complete and this unfortunate's cadet's interruption was heavily unwanted. 

"I-I-I was..-" He stammered over his words. He pulled he neck of his collar to give him some breathing space.

Runa glared at him with fire in her eyes. "You best speak up before I make you choke on your words, Tevir." She threatened with venom, taking his name from his mind.

The cadet gulped loudly and sunk his shoulders, making himself look smaller. Not the best tactic when faced with a predator. He slowly reached down to grab his datapad, never once removing his eyes from her. He struggled to pick it up with his gloved hands, fumbling with it and mumbling in frustration. 

Runa rolled her eyes and with a wave of her hand, picked it up for him and placed it in his hand. The cadet, Tevir, looked surprised by this and gasped when the datapad was brought to his hand. He stood up, almost falling back. Runa seriously hoped that not all cadets were as clumsy. 

"Uh thank you sir-I mean ma'am-uh.." He stammered embarrassingly. 

"What did you need again?" Runa questioned again, a bit of the tension released.

"Yes, yes of course! Uh..." He paused looking down to his datapad, "Kylo Ren requires your presence in sector D." He finally revealed. Was a datapad really required to remember such little information? Still, hearing Kylo Ren's name caused Runa to perk up. 

It had regrettably been some time since she had been with him. There were little meetings here and there, but he usually sent her on her way. She couldn't help but feel a little hurt at his sudden want to be rid of her. Or at least that's what she thought it was. So hearing that he wanted to see her was a happy relief for her. She could only hope it wasn't just a simple and brief meeting.

"Very well." She swallowed her excitement. 

The cadet quickly got out of her way as she passed through the doorway. She walked down to sector D swiftly, not wanting to keep him waiting. It could be something important, but deep down she knew she wanted to see him. That was strange for her, to be excited to see someone. She had not felt that in a long time. And honestly, she enjoyed the feeling. But this was not the time to be thinking about such things. She had somewhere to be and likely something to do. 

She entered sector D and saw her Master standing in the middle of room with his back turned to her. She felt weightless as she approached him, a small feeling of enjoyment swelling in her. 

"Master Ren." She greeted softly, her lips naturally curling into a smile.

He turned to her, his tall frame towering over her's. It was impossible to read his expression with his mask covered his face.

"You called for me?" She said hoping to jar him out of his silence.

"Yes." He hesitated before beginning to walk. Runa was quick to follow, "We received a distress call from a Finalizer shuttle. Apparently there was an ambush during one of their operations." 

"Do they require medical attention?" Runa questioned. 

"One of them yes. They also managed to capture one of their ambushers. A Resistance fighter." Kylo Ren informed her. 

This certainly peaked her attention. The First Order had never taken any Resistance captives in her time within them. Troopers were usually trained to shoot them on sight and take pleasure in it. 

"That is where you come in, apprentice. I've been informed that the person injured is of importance to the Starkiller operation and must be healed immediately." He chimed in through her thoughts. She looked up to him as they walked. 

Ah, so that was what she needed to do. She could that. Throughout the course of her training, she had learned she could use the force to heal. An ability she had become particularly good at and enjoyed doing. It was one of her more skilled abilities as she had a lot of people to practice on. She even practiced on herself when combat training got intense. Yet, what she lacked in combat abilities she made up for in connection to the force. She may never be as strong as Kylo Ren or even some of the other Knights. But she was confident in what she could do and so was he. 

"I understand, Master. I will not disappoint." She spoke with conviction. 

"I know you won't. That's why I summoned you." He responded.

Runa smiled softly at that, but quickly wiped it away.   _I appreciate your faith in me_ , she wanted to say. But kept quiet. She could dwell on these thoughts later, when she wasn't trying to potentially save a man's life. 

Kylo Ren brought her to the medical bay, which was surprising relatively empty of patients. Officers huddled around talking to nurses and doctors in annoyance and frustration. One among them, turned towards Kylo Ren and Runa. His face full of contempt and his brow furrowed. His hair, which was an almost identical color to her's, was neatly slicked back. 

He approached them with stiff posture and sense of pride and ego. His hands were in fists and swung violently as he walked. His demeanor oozed dignity and grandeur as he stood in front of them. He was puffed up with conceit. Runa wouldn't be surprised if he was the posture child for vainglory.

"How nice you of to arrive, Ren." He practically spat with vexation.

"General Hux," Kylo Ren smoothly began, "I was not expecting you be here."

"And I was expecting you to be here five minutes ago." General Hux snipped, his nose crinkling. "Now if you would kindly-"

"Calm down General. My apprentice will handle what your doctors can't." Kylo said simply pushing past him.

"Your apprentice?" He spoke like someone had insulted his mother. "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?" He stepped in front of Kylo Ren and Runa stopping them in their tracks. "The Starkiller operation is nearly complete and this is the lead engineer. If we lose him it could set back the plans gravely. We cannot hold his life in the hands a mere apprentice."

Runa stepped up to him, glaring at him. "I would suggest not undermining my abilities, General." She leaned up close to his face. She stared into his eyes. They were swampy green and beamed with conviction. She brought her lips close to his ear, her breath lightly brushing against it. He shifted uncomfortably but she remained there. "After all, if your trained medical officers can't fix him then it shows how desperate you've sunk to accept the help of a 'mere apprentice.'" Runa mocked pulling away, keeping her eyes on his. "Now bring me to your engineer."

His lips twitched in disdain and for a split second Runa swore she could see a crack in his resolve. He rolled his shoulders, "Room one." 

Runa brushed past him, making sure she pushed him as she did. 

As she approached the room, she could hear faint moaning coming from the it. The door slid open for her, revealing the engineer lying on a medical bed. He groaned in pain and slurred his words as nurses tried to comfort him. The poor man was too pumped up with painkillers to even understand what was going on. 

He looked absolutely pathetic lying there. Runa couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. 

"What's the injury?" She asked a medical droid standing by.

"Fractured ribs and intense bruising at the moment. Internal bleeding has been controlled." It spoke coldly. Although she really couldn't blame it. It was a droid after all.

She knelt down by the man. She lifted up his shirt and saw his skin had turned purple and blue around his ribs. She placed her finger tips to his skin and gently pressed down. The man screamed in pain and tried to push her away.

Runa exhaled through her nose, "Hold him down. He'll be in a lot of pain for this." The nurses were quick to comply. They held him by his ankles and wrists, pinning him to the hospital bed. Force healing was no pleasant process. It was forcing the body to heal in a quick matter. A very unnatural thing for the body to experience. 

But it had to be done. 

Runa lightly placed her hands over his bruised skin. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She pulled the force to her hands, pooling it around her palms. She pushed her hands down sending pulses of energy through the man'a body. He reflectively resists. His back arching and his body writhing in pain. He struggled against his restraints as Runa proceeded. He cried out in agony as she pushed down harder to reach his deeper wounds. Runa felt his bones pulling together and she frowned slightly. She hoped he knew it gave her no pleasure to do this. 

It would soon be over. She was nearly finished. 

With one final push the man relaxed into the bed and exhaled a long sigh of relief. Runa pulled back and rose to her feet. She wiped her hands together, "Well, that's that. He'll be a little cold for awhile but besides that he should be ready for work. I know how fast you Generals like to pump people out." 

She turned to Generel Hux, who's face was still contorted into disdain. It looked like he was going to say something, but another officer entered the room gaining his attention. 

"General!" He was out of breath, "The prisoner has resisted interrogation." The officer revealed.

"What?!" General Hux hissed.

"Well well, another thing your men can't do." Kylo Ren spoke up causing Hux to glare at him. Kylo Ren turned to the officer, "Take us to the prisoner. We'll handle this." 

General Hux looked as if he was about to protest, but Kylo Ren would not give him that opportunity. He was already out the door and headed to the interrogation room.

\---

Inside the interrogation room, was a woman bound to a chair. Her blonde hair, or at least it looked blonde under the dried blood, had fallen out of its ponytail. Her lip was swollen and busted and her nose was caked with dry blood. She looked like she went through hell and back. But still she said nothing. Runa knew the interrogation officers were brutal. She admired the woman's strength. But no amount of strength would save her here. 

Kylo Ren had instructed Runa to manage the interrogation. She was nervous, she had never done something like this before. Kylo Ren offered to let General Hux stay to witness "how things really get done." Hux was too stubborn and prideful to leave. The added eyes was also nerve racking, but her Master assured her she would do well. 

She stepped closer to the woman in the chair and the woman watched her intensely. Runa finally understood the phrase "if looks could kill." Runa's attention was brought to one of the woman's legs. It was mangled badly and slightly contorted in an odd direction.

"Your leg," Runa finally spoke, "It's broken." 

The woman glanced down to her leg but quickly returned her fiery gaze back to Runa. She bent down next to it. There was a blaster burn through her leg. Damn that must have hurt. 

"I could fix that you know." She reached out gently. The woman grunted and pulled against the bindings. 

"Don't you touch me you kriffing shab!" She growled though her teeth. 

Runa pulled away and sighed as she brought herself to her feet. "I was only trying make things less uncomfortable."

"Oh that's rich." She laughed dryly, "Let me out of these bindings. I'll feel comfortable after I wring my hands around your neck." 

Runa only lightly shook her head in response. She was quite the charmer. "Listen. It's best if you just tell me what I need to know."

The woman laughed again, mockingly. "Or you'll do what? Beat me? Burn me? Everything's been done. What else could you possibly do?" 

"I'll take it from you." Runa deadpanned. "You don't have to tell me anything. In fact, you don't need to say anything at all. But I'm offering you the choice to before I take the information I need." 

The woman looked to her in confusion but quickly narrowed her eyes. "You'll take nothing!" She spat. 

"No. I'll take everything." Runa brought her hand to the woman's face. 

Before the woman had time to object Runa's hand lay firmly on the woman's sweaty forehead. The woman was confused and tried to block Runa out of her mind by throwing random image after random image. However, it would not serve her well. Runa had already located what she need and zoned in. She saw trees that grew into large tropical jungles and networks of caves that connected the entire planet. She saw a collection of humans driving through the caves until they found a base. A Resistance base filled with fighters. There was a Resistance base on this planet, on Thyferra. But that wasn't all. There were...children and families. 

Runa tensed. This was not just a base for Resistance members, it was also a community for families. A refuge. Runa pulled away slowly with sympathy and conflict in her eyes. Her eyes scanned over the woman's face. Her once strong and menacing glare was now one of pity and pleading. She knew what Runa saw. 

"Well? What did you find out?" General Hux spoke up with urgency. 

Runa looked over her shoulder slightly. Contemplating on what she should say. She knew she had to inform them of the base. But...

"There's," Runa paused, the woman still looking at her with pleading eyes, "A Resistance base on Thyferra. It has a handful of fighters and..."

"And?" General Hux pressed.

"And a community of people living among them." Runa revealed slowly and look of hatred pulled across the woman's face. 

"Those traitorous vermin." Hux seethed. "I'll send a squadron to eliminate them all."  

"You can't!" The woman shouted, "Those are innocent people, families!" 

And Runa thought Hux's face couldn't be filled with more contempt. The woman continued to scream and plead with him. Begging for the lives of those people. Hux calmly approached her and in one shift motion back handed her. Runa winced and looked away. The woman grew silent expect for the occasional small chocked sobs and whimpers.

"You and your apprentice may leave now, Ren. My men can take it from here." Hux declared, pulling on his glove. 

"You positive about that?" Kylo Ren jested.

"Very." Hux smacked his lips. 

"Alright. We'll leave you to it." Kylo Ren turned to leave. Runa, as always, was quick to follow, but not without looking at the poor woman one last time. She knew the woman's fate would be grim, but perhaps not as grim as the one's on Thyferra.

\---

"I hope I did not disturb you from any formal activities." Kylo Ren said as the two walked together.

"No!" She answered rather quickly. "I was constructing my lightsaber and frankly I needed the break. I will do what is needed of me." She slowed down her rate of speech.

"If I had known that I would have sent for someone else." Kylo Ren apologized.

"There is no need for that, Master. It is like I said, I needed the break." She smiled up to him.  _I like spending time with you. I would like to spend more time with you._ Were things she wanted to say, but she bit her tongue. "Is there anything else I could do for you?" She asked hopefully. 

"No. You can return to constructing your lightsaber." He said flatly. 

She slumped her shoulders slightly and her lips formed a frown. "Of course, Master. If you need me for anything, please let me know." 

She softly smiled at him, hiding her disappointment. He looked to her. She wished she could see his expression behind that mask. See if he was picking up on the small cues she dropped now and then.  

"Ah..yes of course. I'll be sure to inform you." He said slowly.

She bowed her head respectively before regrettably walking away. Kylo watched her until she was out of sight. He turned back forward, but did not move. He sighed and ran his gloved hand over the back of his neck.  Had he bothered her again? He didn't know she was in the middle of doing something so important. He just...they needed a healer and it was nice to see her and she seemed happy to see him too..

He shook his head. _Stop this_ , he told himself before continuing on his way. But his thoughts didn't stop. They continued to run wild in his mind. Thoughts of her. Thoughts of him. Thoughts of her and him. It always made Kylo so frustrated. He always went to take that frustration out on the poor training droids. 

Kylo had been spending a considerable amount of time there to release his anger and confusion. Though, most of the time he went he left with even greater anger. Anger breeds anger after all. But it was all Kylo had to go on. And it would seem he needed to go there again. 

He entered the training center and quickly turned on the droids. With a sizzle of energy they turned on. Kylo unsheathed his lightsaber and immediately began swinging. His saber harshly colliding with the metal beings, splitting them apart.

Time began to fly by as he continued his tyranny on the droids. His knuckles white under his gloves from the tight grip he had on the hilt of his lightsaber. He didn't know how long he'd been here and he didn't care. He wouldn't leave until there was nothing left to take his frustration on.

Ever since that first night he thought of her. 

Her smile.

Another clash to the droids.

Her voice.

Slash after slash he cut them down.

Her happiness.

He was sweating now. Feverishly chopping the droids apart. He couldn't stop now. 

He was so unrestrained, so reckless. The opposite of everything she was.

How could someone like her-

He cut another down.

Ever accept someone like him?

A droid managed to cut him. He winced in pain. No pain was good. He needed it. He grabbed his wound and squeezed tightly. He grit his teeth together, but continued fighting. He was so confused. No one ever told him about these feelings. Damn Snoke. And damn him. That foolish man. Letting him go without teaching him-

 _Stop it Stop it!_ He screamed at himself. Don't let him be a part of this. 

It was becoming harder to breath in his mask. He couldn't concentrate. He was losing control. He whipped his mask off his head and let it fall to the floor with a loud thump. His eyes were red with anger, and parts of his hair clung to the sweat on his face. But it wouldn't stop him. The droids were almost gone now. Just a few more. 

Kylo raged on. Grunting as he cut them down until only one remained. Just one more. Then he could be finished with this. He squeezed his wound again and focused on the pain he felt. 

 _She would never have me,_ was the last thing he thought as he destroyed the final droid. 

\---

Runa held her newly constructed lightsaber in her hand. She had finally finished it after hours and hours of intense meditation. She felt drained, but proud that she finished it. She turned it on, activating the recently added kyber crystal. It hummed softly and shown with a light red tint. She waved it around a few times. It was perfect. Everything she could have asked for. She sheathed it and secured it firmly at her side. 

She was eager to show her Master, but her thoughts held her back. She knew she should show him. She had an obligation to. And yet she was hesitant. Her feelings for him exceeded the boundaries of strictly professional. She had tried to drop little hints here and there, but maybe he wasn't interested. 

She frowned at that and wanted to tell herself that he just wasn't understanding them. But it was certainly a possibility that he was simply not interested in her. He was the leader of the Knights. Surely had higher priorities than fraternization. She had never heard anything against relationships. From what she had been told, passion was a good thing. So maybe...it was possible but she didn't know. But she wanted to.

It was only natural. A woman to feel something for a man and vise versa. He was always so nice to her. Took care of her. What was supposed to happen? She's put with a man who trains her. She spends a lot of time with him. Surely something will develop. Something certainly did in her case. It was strange for her. She never considered relationships before this. But after spending time with Kylo Ren and getting to know him...it was something she seriously wanted.

But relationships can never be one sided. 

Runa stopped thinking about. She had an obligation to inform her Master what she had done. Though, deep down, she knew she would be happy to see him again.

After learning her Master was in the training facility she made her way there. She was apprehensive about opening the doors. All the confidence now dispersing when actually faced with the situation. She quietly stepped into the room, seeing parts of training droids scattered across the floor. 

This was definitely the work of her Master. She saw him towards the back of the room. He was panting with his lightsaber still unsheathed. 

"Master." She greeted softly, approaching him. 

He turned to her and sheathed his lightsaber. He stiffened when she stood in front of him. 

"I-" Her confidence was quickly dwindling, "I wanted to inform you that I have finished constructing my lightsaber." 

She presented it to him. He tentatively took it in his hands. He angled it in all directions as he examined it. He noted that it was smooth and refined with a sleek and shining outer hilt. He slowly handed it back to her.

"It looks well crafted. Good job." He said breathlessly, still worn out from training.

"Thank you, Master." She beamed up at him. She took a silent deep breath to steady herself before speaking again. "I wanted to thank you for this. It has been the greatest honor." She carefully reached up and touched his arm. Kylo inhaled sharply, but tried his best to hide it. She smiled affectionately at him and Kylo was unsure how to respond.

 

He could feel the heat in his body swell again. He had just finished cooling it and yet here it was again so quickly. She was so gentle with him, so poise. His insecurities were getting the best of him, taking hold of his mind. Never would she accept him.

He had to do something before he would do something he would regret. He jerked away from her.

 

Runa's hand was still in the air and her eyes wide as he roughly pulled away. Kylo picked up his mask and placed it back on his head. "See to it that you practice with your new weapon." Was all he said before quickly walking past her.

She mumbled a very soft 'yes Master' before he felt her. Her shoulders fell and her eyes sunk down. It stung a bit. Him acting like that, like he was upset with her. Runa didn't understand what she had been doing wrong. She thought for sure the making of her lightsaber would make him proud. But he brushed her off again. 

And that hurt Runa deeply.

Something must have happened between them. There must be something. 

And Runa was going to find out what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read somewhere that Ben Solo was sent to train with Luke at 10 and joined Snoke at age 15. Knowing this, I don't think Kylo had the best mentor for the hormones going through his fine ass body. So I don't think he knows how to handle feelings of affection and love.  
> And let's be honest, not many people actually like Kylo Ren so he's going on what's familiar.  
> Runa likes him, but she's heavily intimidated by him too. So it's recipe for confusion and misguided feelings. (Just wanted to clear that up) 
> 
> Lots of love to you all <3 Thank you for reading <33


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the sinning commence.

Runa was told that Kylo Ren was in the hanger when she asked about his whereabouts. No doubt Snoke was sending him on some sort of reconnaissance mission or perhaps he was just getting back from one. She hoped it was the latter. If not, she could only hope she would reach him in time.

She had spent a considerable amount of time preparing what she was going to say and what she was going to ask. She was optimistic that she would be able to voice all her concerns to him and be done with it. However, her anxious mind kept posing the ever famous what if questions. 

What if he was truly upset with her? What if he did not want her as an apprentice any longer? What if he regretted it? Those were the more recurring questions. If he he was actually upset with her, there had to be a way to mend it. And if he didn't want her as an apprentice then surely he could hand her over to Snoke or another Knight. Though she wished that wasn't the case. It probably was'n't right? Surely he would have done something about it. ...Then again-

Runa refused to let these troublesome questions continue to rattle around in her head. It would do her no good thinking and thinking about them. She won't know the answer until she asked him directly. Which is what she was going to do. She could handle the outcome later. One step at a time. Simple as that.

But nothing was ever simple anymore.

She approached the hanger entrance. A handful of officers were chatting idly by the sealed door. One of them, the lead female officer, noticed Runa's approach and distanced herself from her colleagues. She stood in front of Runa with the standard First Order pose. Stiff posture, hands behind the back, wrinkled and creased forehead. A very welcoming sight to say the least. 

"Is there something I do for you, Sir?" She questioned in an Eriaduan accent. 

"I just need to get to the hanger." Runa answered simply, unsure why she was even approached by an officer.

"May I inquire as to why?" The officer questioned with a brow raised.

"No, you may not." Runa said stone faced.

The Eriaduan gulped and cleared her throat nervously. "Ah, yes well-ahem-" She cleared her throat again.

"Yes quite," Runa rolled her eyes, "I'll be heading there now." 

"Wait Sir!" The woman called, stopping Runa. 

Runa turned around, a small scowl pulling at the corner of her lip.

The officer stared at Runa, waiting for her to talk. However, it became quickly apparent Runa had no intentions to engage in conversation.

"Well, you see Sir, We've sealed the hanger for the scheduled flight. They are nearing take off." The officer explained trying not to stutter. 

A pang of worry pulsed through Runa. It had not been the latter of the possibilities. Kylo Ren was going on a reconnaissance mission. The time of his return would be uncertain depending on multiple characteristics. And Runa knew she couldn't wait that long. Her confidence would be gone by then. This only motivated Runa further. 

"If that's the case then I better hurry in there. Are you going to open the door?" Runa crossed her arms in annoyance, waiting for the officer to comply. 

"I have orders from Kylo Ren himself to-" She began but Runa quickly cut her off.

"Perhaps I'll make you open the door." Runa proposed wryly. 

The officer, clearly taken back, widened her eyes and dropped her jaw practically to the floor. "Are you suggesting that I am one of those weak minded fools?" She was obviously offended by Runa's offer. But that mattered little to the apprentice. 

"Would you like to find out?" Runa inquired dryly with a stone expression.

The officer exhaled sharply and turned to her colleagues. "Officer Sosa! Release the door!" 

"What? But Kylo Ren-"

"That's an order, Sosa!" 

Runa couldn't help but smirk. Being an apprentice of a Knight sure had its intimidation perks. Her moral side of her told her not be amused by the bickering of the officers, but it was just a tad fun to watch. Just a little. Besides, she wasn't doing anything too terrible.

She heard the door open behind her and entered through it, leaving the bickering officers behind her. Being an apprentice had other perks besides intimidation too. She would make sure no harm would come to them in case her Master had threatened them. 

Speaking of which, she was him approach a trooper. He was clearly annoyed as he virtually stomped his way over to the unsuspecting trooper.

"What happened?" She heard his ask, well it was more of a demand due to his tone.

"I-I don't know, Sir." The trooper struggled to respond.

"Well, do find out!" Kylo Ren demanded with anger.

"Of course, Sir!" The trooper scurried away and she saw her Master sigh and relax his shoulders.

She took a deep breath and exhaled painfully slow. She just needed to keep her confidence up. Don't turn back.

"Master Ren." She called as she walked to him. When he turned to her, she didn't need to see his face to tell he was surprised. 

"Apprentice." He answered dazed. "I don't remember calling for you." 

"Yes," She started, trying to keep her voice from shaking, "I'm here on my own accord."

"On your own?" He questioned.

"Yes," She said again, "I know you are getting ready to leave but may I request an audience with you, Master? In private?"

 _No! No!_ She scream at herself. This could give him the opportunity to say 'no' or 'later'. Runa was sure she would not have the guts to speak her mind then.

"I.." He paused which made another, but more intense, pang of worry pulse through her body. "Of course, apprentice."

Runa had to keep herself from sighing and looking visibly relaxed. "Thank you, Master Ren."

He guided her to an empty officer work station. It was small, smaller than she liked, but it gave enough space necessary. She walked to a corner of the room, keeping her back turned to him. She played with her hands, pulling and twisting at her fingers. 

"What did you want to speak with me about?" He questioned, breaking her train of thought.

All the preparation she went through seemed to dwindle away into nothing but pure anxiety. She thought of herself as stupid for this. It was only a simple question. Just do it.

"I," She struggled, "I know you told me to commune with the force for questions of feelings and actions.."

She turned to him, "But I want to ask you about this personally."

Kylo Ren seemed to shift uncomfortably, "Personally?"

She nodded softly and slowly, "I was wondering if maybe perhaps you were..." She took a deep breath, "Are you upset with me?"

There. She finally asked it. But her worry didn't go away and he remained silent. A bad sign.

"Have I done something to offend you?" She followed up quickly.

Still he remained silent.

"Or am I not meeting up to the expectations of an apprentice?"

Still nothing.

"Have I disappointed you? I can leave if you wish it." As soon those words left her mouth, Kylo Ren grabbed her hands in his. 

She gasped slightly at this sudden action. Instinctively feeling nervous at his touch and grasp. 

"No!" He said urgently before swallowing, "No." He repeated, this time more calmly. 

"It's not you Runa. It's...me and my own incompetence." He said lowly, almost whispering. 

"You?" She murmured.  A wave of incertitude crashed down on her, dragging down her anxiety. 

His grip moved to her arms, holding her there tightly where she stood. His grip on her was firm but never painful or cruel. She lightly quivered under his hold. Her eyes, looking to his through his mask, held nothing but confusion. Unsure of what to say and whether she should speak at all, she stayed silent. 

"I've felt this confusion for a long time now. These feelings are all new to me." He finally spoke up. 

Runa remained silent, letting him spill out his frustrations and confusions.

"I didn't know it would be so difficult to manage. I thought I could be in control of it." He explained with hardship. 

"But I'm not in control. I'm not in control of anything." He said through his teeth.

Runa's face showed sympathy and compassion as he vented to her. She could feel him shaking as he held her and relaxed into his grip, her eyes never leaving his. She gazed to him softly as he tried to speak. 

"My feelings for you...they have..I don't understand-" He tried so desperately to speak. Her eyes widened as far as the galaxy that surrounded them. His feeling for her. Was this the source of all this confusion? Had he been picking up on her hints? Did he not know how to handle them? She thought for a moment and slowly things began to make sense. He was raised to know feelings of affections. Feelings of love. He understanding of how to handle emotions was to amplify them and manipulate them. But how could he do so on something he was taught so little about?

She had no idea the conversation would go this way. But she thought maybe it needed to. 

"I've been frustrated. I know this and I've been taking it out on you. I didn't mean for you to feel like that. I don't want you to feel like that. I want you to be happy." He trailed off again, struggling to form coherent sentences. 

He began to release his grip on her, but she quickly grabbed onto his arms. "Ren," She spoke informally for the first time, her hands finding a spot on his chest. She couldn't stand not seeing his eyes. She gently moved her hands up his chest. The tussled and rough fabric slightly scraping against her palms. Her hands stopped when they reached his mask. It was cold and smooth under her touch. Her finger tips pressed against the cold surface, clicking it open. She carefully, as if not hurt him, removed his mask. She stared at the features she rarely got to see. 

His dark eyes looked straight into her light ones. She smiled lightly, herself now having trouble forming words. "I..I am happy. Especially when I'm with you." 

He leaned back a bit and his eyes softened, almost in disbelief. "You..." He breathed. Runa's eyes were now fixated on his lips. She had rarely seen them this close. They were slightly chapped, but it was to be expected from him wearing that mask everyday.

"That is why I wanted to speak with you." She continued, no longer filled with worry but instead filled with a still harmony. "I enjoy spending time with you, being with you." 

She watched his eyes open and his lips part in surprise. His eyes scanned over her quickly as he comprehended what she had told him. Slowly that cloud of confusion and doubt turned to dust in his mind and were blown away by new found understanding. All this time he spent suffering silence, he had Runa right here for him, wanting to be there for him.

"Are you saying you feel about me the same way I feel about you?" He asked hopefully.

"Well," She smiled, "I'm not sure what you feel for me, but I know that I deeply care about you Ren more than anyone else." She disclosed to him. 

He felt a sense of solace, a soothing hush that filled him. All the frustration was now gone, forbidden to return to ruin his moment of serenity. A serenity shared between the two. Runa felt it as well. Runa saw something she had never seen before, him smiling. A bright smile showing off his teeth and stretching his cheeks. For the first time, he looked happy. 

He slowly took the helmet from her hands, placing it on some container that stood by them. They looked at each other, with soft eyes and beatific smiles. Almost naturally, like a dance, the two pulled closer together. Kylo Ren's hands finding a small grip on her arms. Runa delicately guided his hands to her hips. He sighed lowly, as he held her hip in a passionate grip. Not too tight and no where near rough. Runa's hand make their way up to his broad shoulders, clasping onto them. Their eyes became lidded and folded close as they both knew what was coming next. 

 Slowly and a bit awkwardly their lips finally met. A new sensation to both of them, but one they could get used to quickly. Runa gasped into the kiss, feeling his breath against her lips. His head was tilted ever so slightly with his nose poking at her cheek. Their lips overlapped, with Runa's top lip captured between his lips. His lips were warm on hers, despite their edginess from being chapped. His caress was more than she could have desired for. 

With a small smacking sound, they parted. Their foreheads touching and nudging against each other slightly. However, they couldn't stand being apart. The two quickly reunited. Kylo gave Runa's hip a tight squeeze. She gasped lightly, giving more access for their dance to continue. A hunger embraced them both and soon their lips were engaged in a lustful duet. 

Then the door opened. A trooper stood at the entrance unfazed by the show the two put on for him. "Sir, the shuttle is ready to take off." 

Kylo and Runa separated softly but kept their connection close. Kylo glared at the trooper with fire out of the corner of his eye. He could cut his head off for interrupting this moment. Runa's hands found his cheeks, bringing his attention back to her. His eyes immediately softened upon seeing her. 

She smiled dolefully as she looked at him. She gave him a quick peck on the lips, trying to resist the urge to linger. "I'll be here when you get back." She comforted quietly. 

He nodded apprehensively and gave her one last kiss, to which he did not resist the urge to linger. She lightly pushed him away, encouraging him to go. They both knew he needed to go. It was his duty.  The two slowly stepped away from each other, with Kylo grabbing his mask. His eyes never left her's as he put it on. He looked at her one last time and gently thumbed her cheek. 

She let him slip away from her as he headed to his shuttle. She sent him off with sad eyes and watched his departure from the control room. She did not acknowledge the weird looks she got from the stand by officers. After all, she had no mask to hide her expression. She would eagerly await his return and would count the minutes until they would embrace again.

\---

Kylo hovered over the pilot as they returned to the Star Destroyer. It had been possibly the longest recovery mission he had done. It seemed longer and longer as his desire to return became more great. He also had a heard time focusing on the task at hand. His feelings were still running wild after his time with Runa. 

He thought of her again, for perhaps the 100th time since he'd departed. He was still in disbelief. He almost anticipated to be woken by Snoke and find out all of this was just some force induced dream. He shuddered at the thought. To find out all of this, all the feelings were meaningless would be a cruel fate. 

His thoughts were louder than sound as the shuttle landed in the hanger. He did not know where he should go. He had many questions running around in his head. Sorting them out seemed the best option before going to Runa. The last thing he needed was to appear foolish to her. He couldn't get to his room fast enough.

Once getting there, however, he was unsure of what to do. It was late, much later than he anticipated. He didn't expect Runa to wait up for him. Everybody needed sleep, even the Knights. Though, he was full of too much elation to sleep. He thought perhaps he should take Runa somewhere nice. That's how these things work right? He saw something like it in a holovid once when he was young. A stroll on the Star Destroyer? No that would be stupid, she lives here. On Corellia? No he hated that planet.

Stars this was hard. 

Kylo took his mask off and placed it on it's rightful pedestal. He ran a hand through his helmet hair, fluffing it. He took a seat on the edge of his bed, gripping the sheets. His room shown with a crimson shade, making everything in the room soaked with red. He stared out of the window, watching the nebula and stars play before him. 

He really did want to see her again and maybe she wasn't asleep. What if she was waiting for him to come to her? Kylo wouldn't want to stand her up. He could go just knock on her door. If she didn't answer then she was probably asleep. He could come back another time. If she did answer then well...he'd have to time to think about it on the walk there. 

He pushed himself off the bed and walked to his door. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw Runa standing on the other side, her hand raised like she was about to knock. From the look on her face, she seemed shocked as well. 

"Runa." He breathed still in shock. 

"I'm sorry, is this a bad time?" She apologized, a light blush gathering at her cheeks. 

"No. No." He replied awkwardly.

"Oh, good." She cleared her throat, "I came here to- uh talk."

"Talk. Talk is good." Stars he must sound like a complete idiot. 

She bit her lips together and looked around awkwardly.

"Oh! Uh yes come in." He stepped aside, letting her enter his room. She looked around slightly, familiarizing herself with it. Her attention was drawn to the large window and she gradually made her way over there. Kylo watched her, focusing on her movements.

"I was actually on my way to talk with you too." Kylo revealed.

"Then this meeting is fate." She said still staring out the window. "This is a lovely view." 

 _Not as lovely as you._ No do not say that. What ever happens, do not say that-

"Not as lovely as you." He whispered. Stars dammit all. 

She laughed softly, a good sign for him. 

"You're silly." She giggled.

Damn. Now she thought he was silly. He rubbed the back of his neck, "Sorry I'm not really good at this..." He began to trail off towards end, coughing and clearing his throat. 

She turned to him and laughed shortly. She lightly placed her hands on his arms to which he reflectively held onto her's. They looked at each other for awhile and even in the crimson lighting, he could still see here grey eyes clearly. 

"I have a small confession to make. I actually came here to-ahem," She cleared her throat softly, "To continue what we were doing earlier and...perhaps a bit more."

Kylo tried his best to hide his shock, he was so used to having the mask doing all the work for him. Runa must have picked up on it as she frowned.

"Unless  you-"

Kylo didn't let her finish, "No! I do. I've just-uh-never-ahem-done anything like this-that-before." 

"Neither have I." She whispered gently, "But that doesn't mean we can't learn." She brought herself closer to him and his instinctively held her tighter. She leaned up to him so their noses were just brushing. Both of their gazes fixated on their lips. 

"Are you sure?" Kylo murmured.

"Yes..very." Runa breathed both closing the gap between them. His lips made soft contact with hers with her upper lip enclosed between his. She sighed into the kiss and lightly bit at his lips. He groaned which sent vibrations against both their lips. His hold on her tightened and his hand began to roam. She gasped when his hands took hold of her hips. Her arms wrapped around his neck, begging for more connection. Neither were really sure of what they were doing, but it almost seemed natural.

Kylo moved his grip to her bottom, greedily kneading the mounds of flesh. He pushed her pelvis to his and the heat in their bodies began to combine the best it could with clothes still separating them. Runa began to roll her hips, brushing against his pelvis. He moaned at the friction and began to pull of Runa's clothing. Runa suddenly broke the kiss, leaving Kylo aching. She hastily began to pull off articles of her clothing, not caring where she threw them. 

Kylo ripped off his gloves and cast them aside. He begins to hungrily roam his bare hands over her newly exposed flesh. She felt so smooth under his coarse and calloused hands. Clothing began to fly over the room and the hurriedly and clumsily undressed each other. They were both so eager to collide their bodies once more. 

In a series of not so coherent events, they fell to the bed. They were quick to mend their separation. Their lips devoured each other, dancing and grazing over each other like they had been separated a life time, like they would never kiss again. Kylo slowly began to move his lips to her jawline, sucking and nipping at her skin. 

She grabbed locks of his now tangled hair in her fingers and pulled. He groaned, sending ripples into her skin. She sighed pleasantly as his lips played with her neck. Her lips were getting lonely. She pulled him by his hair, to which he responded with a pleasurable moan. She planted her lips on his, pulling and tangling his hair. 

They pulled apart once more, both now gasping for breath. Kylo looked down at her body, she was fully exposed and open to him as he was to her. He was unsure of what to do. He had never done this before. He wanted to touch her, so badly he wanted to touch her. He hesitantly brought his hand to her breast and Runa was shook in anticipation. 

He carefully thumbed her nipple and actually shivered when he heard her moan for the first time. He continued to thumb them slowly, unaware he was teasing and taunting her. Runa steadily ran her hand up his taut chest, his muscles stiffened and contracted as she touched him. His chest was smooth yet incredibly firm. It heaved up and down as she continued to explore. He was covered in moles, just like the ones on his face. Runa lightly brushed the tips of her fingers over them as she explored his body.

She accidentally scratched his chest while she moaned and arched her back as Kylo pinched one of her nipples. He pulled his hand away, concerned he had hurt her. But a sharp pull to his to neck and the colliding of their lips told him she liked what he did. Runa could feel her heat begin to ache and throb as their arousal increased. And it only worsened when she felt his erection poke at her inner thigh. Her mouth was beginning to water as she craved their union. She tried to cross her legs, but she wanted them open, she wanted him to enter her. 

She thought she should be scared. She was about to lose her virginity. She had heard tales that it was an unpleasant thing. But she was happy and wanting. She was ready. She could feel that her heat was sopping wet, already anticipating what was natural. 

"Please.." She whimpered and begged against his lip, pressing her hips to his. He pulled away slightly, his nose still touching hers. There was nothing left to stop their animal impulses. 

He looked into her now lidded and smokey eyes, no doubt he looked the same. "Are you sure?" He whispered once more, his hot breath hitting her lips. 

With a deep breath and shaky exhale she nodded. She leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth for reassurance. He visibly gulped before placing himself between her legs, the tip of his excitement poking at her sopping heat. Her thighs reflectively clenched in response. She closed her eyes briefly before grabbing onto his shoulders, bracing herself. He held the shaft to steady himself. With a few tries, the tip found its way into her.

And their union became complete.

With one fluid thrust, he entered her. The heat from her body enclosing him.

They both froze, adjusting to the new feeling of each other. Runa gasped at feeling his girth rest inside her. It had stung a bit, but the pain was a dull hum compared the to rapture she felt. Pleasure suddenly had a far more enjoyable meaning. 

Kylo was shuddering at the warmth she provided him. A feeling he had never known and a feeling he would never forget. He stayed still, trying calm himself. He felt if he were to move, he would finish here and now. He did not want that to happen. He wanted to provide her with as much hedonism as he was able. He wanted to show how much he loved her. He could not imagine the amount of shame he would feel if he failed at that. 

He felt her hands begin to massage him, soothing him and encouraging him. He took a deep breath and bit his lip as he slowly began to roll his hips. He heard her sigh pleasurably and looked down to her. She looked so beautiful under him, still so poise. He felt himself throb and stopped those thoughts at once. Thinking like that would only hasten his end.

One step at a time.

After gaining enough confidence, he slowly began to thrust himself. His movements where leisurely and steady as he rolled and thrusted his hips. Runa began to moan at his movements. The feeling of him grinding inside her was an exotic sensation that traveled all through her body like fire. 

He began to drive deeper, thrusting more rapidly. Runa's moans became louder and more frequent. Her hands sunk down his back, scratching him as they dragged. 

Kylo moaned pleasurable feeling his back begin to sting. He leaned down, his grunts and pants echoing in Runa's ear. He clenched his fists and dug his elbows into the mattress. This sudden closeness caused Kylo's pelvis to begin to rub against Runa's budding clit. 

She threw her head back screamed in pleasure. Her finger nails digging into his skin like claws. He hissed through his teeth and begged for more. Runa dragged her nails down his back, splitting them apart as they wrapped around his body. He was driving into her quickly and fiercely now, no longer afraid of finishing himself. He brought his lips to her neck, sucking and kissing everywhere he could. She gasped when he lightly grazed his teeth over the base of her neck. 

"Ren..." She moaned breathless as he thrusted heavily into her.

"Ben." He corrected softly, "My name is Ben." He was almost unaware he had said that as he had gotten caught up in the euphoria of their love making. 

This came as a surprise to Runa. He had shared his heritage to her, but expressed deeply that part of him was dead. But here he was, begging for her to moan his name. Perhaps just this once, he was allowing himself to be completely open to her. 

"Ben.." She breathed liking the way his name rolled off his tongue. He must have liked it too as he groaned against her skin. 

"Ben." She said again, this time softer and more lovingly. He sighed into her skin, practically purring as she moaned his name over and over which each thrust. Her hips rolling with his, matching his pace. The space between his torso and her abdomen was never too great as the pair began to beg for connection. Their bodies freely giving into agony and ecstasy as they continued their union.

Kylo began to lean over her, causing her hips to slightly lift off the mattress. And Runa got a wicked idea. She brought her hands to his back and slowly released the energy she had been trained to subdue. Her and Kylo both gasped at the feeling. Both now experiencing each other's pleasures. It was almost too much for Runa to take. Her body now shivering in lust and an overwhelming sense of ecstasy. Their worlds molded into one pure domain of desire and concupiscence. A world neither ever wanted to leave. 

Their bodies were enclosing into a fuming fervor. Intensity now reaching it's peak for both of them. Their bodies could no longer last the joined pleasure of each other but, by Stars, did they try to stretch it out. Pleasure filled moans and heavy panting filled the room's humid air. Each thrust bringing both of them closer to glory.

Knots in Runa's abdomen began to contract and unwind, causing her scream in pleasure. Her orgasm rippled through her like a lightening storm. Her eyes lit up like the stars that watched them. Her body writhing as she rode out her orgasm. She was forced to disconnect from him as her energy faded as her orgasm finished her off. 

Kylo shuddered, feeling her orgasm spasm through him like a wave. His muscles began to stiffen and tense as he neared his end. He grunted feverishly and used the remnants from her orgasm to thrust up into her. He was about to become undone. He bit is lip so hard it began to bleed. He felt Runa pushed her lips against his bleeding lip, mingling saliva and blood. 

That was all it took to send his world spinning. He brought his head down to the crook of her neck as his body hardened. He felt a strong ripple pulse though him and he lost control. Loose items in the room began to scatter and crash into each other as he emptied himself into her. He groaned coarsely and lowly as he came to an end. 

Everything in the room stilled as he let out a large sigh. He panted heavily against her skin. He wanted to lay there forever, but he knew better. He sluggishly pushed himself up and gazed down at his lover. She was breathing deeply and her eyes were faded when she looked to him. 

He pulled back from her and she slowly leaned herself up. She reached out and brushed the hair from his face. She smiled to him before taking him in a loving embrace. He responded immediately, wrapping his arms around her. She nuzzled into his chest and hummed. 

He gently stroked her now tangled and messy hair. "Was it...did I.." He tried to speak.

She nodded against his chest and purred, "Perfect." 

 They held each other for a time unknown to both. He kissed the top of her head. "I love you." He breathed into her hair.

She smiled against him and grabbed onto him tighter, "I love you too." 

And a warm breeze blew over them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for cheesiness and awkward virgin sex! I hope the smut was okay, I have not written smut in a long time so I apologize for that. Also, you cannot tell me that Kylo Ren doesn't have a pain kink.
> 
> I never expected this story to get as many hits as it has so thank you all so much for reading and kudos! <3  
> I have a bit of material to figure out for the next chapter so bare with me for that. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much and lots of love to you all <3


	8. Chapter 8

 Runa and Kylo Ren held each other closely, not wanting to part from each other. They were enjoying each other's body heat as their embrace remained. Runa placed a light kiss on his collarbone causing him to sigh pleasantly. Her fingers lightly traced over the scratch marks on his back, they were still coarse. Kylo exhaled remembering the sensation of his back burning under her nails. It was like he being carved by fire. A blaze set upon his back, only allowed to be extinguished by those who started it's ruin.

 Runa hummed a tune she had heard in a cantina once as Kylo Ren held her and tangled his fingers in her hair. He looked down to her, enchanted by the rhythm.

"What are you humming?" He asked, his face his nestled in her hair. 

"A cantina song. It's a pretty common one." She informed smoothly.

"Hmm," He hummed, "I wouldn't know."

"Have you never been?" She questioned as she looked up to him, forcing Kylo to remove himself from her hair.

"No, I've never been to one." He revealed a bit stiffly.

"Oh, you should one day. All the lights and colors and the music is very exciting. The people too, they're just as colorful as the drinks." Runa rambled. 

"Did you spend a lot of time in them?" He asked without regarding that the question could be taken offensively. 

Luckily, Runa did not take offense and understood his 'pillow talk.' "No, not too often. I mostly went there to dance to the songs, stretch me legs you know?" 

Kylo thought for a moment. He had never danced before and was never a big fan of music. It was always too noisy and to be frank he was a bit of a rigid individual. If he were to attempt at dancing it would probably be disastrous and cringe worthy. He was getting secondhand embarrassment just from thinking about it. 

"Would you dance for me?" Kylo asked suddenly, almost dreamily. 

Runa pressed her lips together and rose a brow, her expression saying 'Did you really just ask me that?' However she soon bellowed at laugh. "Just because I said I danced doesn't mean I was good at it!" 

"I'm sure you're just being modest." Kylo smirked and began to run his hand up and down her curves. 

Runa began to flush a shade of pink as his hands rubbed and gripped her curves hungrily. She laughed shortly and put her hand to his chest, pushing him down to his back. She was quick to straddle and lean down on top of him. She crossed her arms across his chest and rested her cheek. 

"And what about you, huh? Would you dance for me?" She batted her eyelashes. "I think you'd make a good male dancer." 

Kylo repressed a nervous laugh, but a light blush still crept its way to his cheeks, "You can't be serious." 

 "Oh I'm very serious." She smiled coyly. "You'd look good in the outfit too."

And Kylo thought his cheeks couldn't fire up any more. "You'd have me dressed in one of those outfits?" He questioned, referring to the robes the 'less professional' dancers wore.

"No never." She inched her way to his face, "I wouldn't want anyone looking at you like I do." Her lips danced above his, teasing him.

"The feeling is very mutual." He smirked before leaning his neck up to connect their lips. 

Both sighed into the kiss. They were getting good at this now. Kylo's lip had now bruised after he busted it open. It stung a bit to kiss, but Kylo was not complaining. The intoxication of their dance was too sweet to complain. Kylo brought his hands to her ass, giving her a light squeeze. She moaned and swirled her hips against his growing erection. He groaned and lightly bit her bottom lip in response. She smiled into his bite and wiped her tongue over the bruised and swollen area of his lip. Round two was fast approaching. 

A knock came from the door. Runa was the first to pull away, looking over her shoulder at the door. Runa sighed silently and quickly placed a kiss on Kylo's jaw line before hopping off him. Kylo pushed himself up on his elbows and glared dangerously at the door. 

"What is it?" He fumed and grit his teeth. He had no intentions opening the door when both he and Runa were completely bare. Whoever it was they would just have to shout through the door. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt you at this hour, Sir." A muffled apology came through the door.

"Just get on with it. What do you want?" He raved through his teeth. 

"O-Of course Sir," the voice stammered, "Supreme Leader Snoke demands you contact him." 

Kylo's glower immediately softens into realization. He had never reported back to Snoke on the status of the artifact he had found. Had the troopers even taken it off the shuttle? Of course they did, he had ordered them too. He almost hit himself for this mistake.

"Right, inform him I will contact him immediately." He said, suppressing his panic. He saw Runa look to him with concern filling her grey eyes. He heard no more from the voice on the other side of the door, indicating they must have left. With a quick exhale he swung his legs over the side of the bed. 

He scrambled to pick up his clothes, which had been scattered across the room during his finish. Runa helped him. Handing him piece after piece, trying to distinguish what was hers and what was his. She looked down to his mask in her hands, the last article he needed to put on. He tipped her chin up, his eyes meeting her worried ones. He placed a kiss on her forehead. 

"Wait for me?" He requested, taking the mask from her. 

"Always." She replied with a small smile. 

He slipped his mask on and took her hand in his. They held on for as long as they could until distance forced them to part. Her hand still reaching out to him as he closed the door behind him.

\---

Kylo tried his best to come up with a believable excuse as to why he had not contacted Snoke. But excuse after excuse, he could not find one that was concrete enough. Perhaps it was for the best. He knew he shouldn't lie to Snoke, that would land him in deep trouble. But how was he supposed to tell Snoke he was with Runa and not in the professional sense too. He was unaware if there were any regulations on relationships among the First Order. It had never been a concern until now.

Snoke had taught him that passion was a good and powerful thing to have. His relationship with Runa was passionate and full of emotion. Many things Snoke told him of were what he had with Runa. Snoke may have never mentioned love, but love was part of a deep passion. Kylo optimistically assumed Snoke would agree. 

But there was little telling with Snoke. Perhaps it would be better if Kylo lied. 

Kylo entered the large communication room, surprised and worried to see Snoke's hologram ready in front of him. He could not outwardly show his shock, he needed to to keep moving. Act like nothing was wrong. 

Kylo knelt in front of the intimidating hologram of his Master. He kept his gaze low, awaiting the hoarse voice to ring in his ears.

"Explain the lack of communication I received from you, Kylo Ren." Snoke demanded smoothly. 

Kylo scrambled through the list of excuses he tried to come up with on his way here. His mind drew a blank and he actually considered telling Snoke that the forgot. He considered telling Snoke that he did not want to disturb him at such a late hour. That could just possibly pass for believable.

"Wait." Snoke spoke up just as Kylo parted his lips. Snoke stared at Kylo for a considerable amount of time, studying him. "You have become close with your apprentice, Kylo Ren."

A silent breath hitched in Kylo's throat and a chill ran its way down his spine. He knew Snoke would not stand for his silence. He needed to swallow the worry for now. He brought his gaze up to look at Snoke, "I cannot deny you." 

"Hmm." Snoke groaned, tapping his long fingers on the rest of his chair. "I will take my assumption as a correct one." 

Kylo had no idea what to say. Should he apologize? Quiver in fear?

Apparently he was already quivering.

"Still yourself, Kylo Ren. I sense your fear." Snoke commented as he leaned back comfortably in his chair.

"Forgive me. I am just unsure how you will respond to our...development." Kylo voiced his concerns quietly.

"Have you forgotten what I have told you? Passion is one of the strongest emotions one can possess. Fear not, I have no objections to your new found bond." 

Kylo was filled with alleviation. His assumption about Snoke was correct. Kylo was glad he did not come up with any excuse or lie. Snoke would have found out the truth either then or eventually. And the consequences would have been harsh and not just to Kylo. He cringed at the thought of Runa being punished for his lie. He would not allow that to happen. Not to her.

"I expect this will not interfere with her training?" Snoke questioned loosely.

"Of course not. She is nearly complete. She will soon be completely molded into your vision." Kylo assured his peering Master. 

"Good good. Now tell me of the artifact." Snoke spoke causally. 

Kylo complied and told Snoke about the artifact he had found. It was a rather small artifact. Old looking too. Clearly rusted to the point it could be mistaken for on part of an old run down speeder. Luckily, Kylo had more than his eyes to spot artifacts. The artifact's age, however, may provide them information about the old teachings. Despite it's rather garbage looking appearance, the information it holds may prove very useful. 

Snoke was about to gesture for Kylo to leave, but stopped. "I sense your eagerness to return to her."

"Forgive me." Was all Kylo thought to say.

Snoke leaned forward and narrowed his cold blue eyes, "Careful now. Passion may be a strong and powerful emotion. But it is the weakest when it becomes a liability." 

Kylo understood threats well. His assumption about Snoke had indeed been correct. But not without a foreboding and minatory warning. 

\---

Snoke did not have to tell Kylo to go meditate on the artifact, he had heard Snoke's threat loud and clear. However, his thoughts never manged to concentrate when he meditated on the rusted metal. His thoughts constantly fluctuating between concentration, Snoke, and Runa. Not the best mind set when trying to meditate on a sith artifact. Kylo was only able to gather bits and pieces of rather trivial information. He contemplated leaving many times but, even without Snoke's eyes on him, he felt compelled to stay.

He didn't know how long he had been with Snoke or who long he attempted to meditate. He assumed it had been long though. His heart raced to get back to Runa, but Snoke's threat was pulling at his mind. Plus, he would look a tad silly running back to his room. But that didn't matter now. He was here and so was she, wrapped up in one of his sheets and sitting patiently by the small table in his room. His protocol droid was sitting across from her. Odd that it had showed up now. 

Runa had her elbow on the table and leaned her cheek against her hand as she listened to the protocol droid talk. She smiled slightly, indicating she was enjoying the conversation. Kylo knew little of what kind of entertainment a protocol droid could offer. He carefully lifted off his mask and set it down on the counter besides him. 

She looked to him and her eyes instantly brightened. She turned to him slightly, her eyes smiling, "Welcome back, Ren. Your protocol droid, D-7TE was it?" She turned to the droid who nodded in response. "D-7TE was just helping me go over the basics of Suim."

"Suim?" Kylo rose a brow and crinkled his nose.

She nodded, "My translator doesn't have that one installed."

Oh. Kylo supposed that made sense. Translators were placed within most people's bodies after they were born. Many are programmed with various levels of languages. Considering she was the child of farmers, she would not have an advanced one. Kylo did, but only because Leia Organa's position within the senate. With the invention, the need for protocol droids decreased. They were mostly used a cleaners and child caregivers. At least D-7TE was getting some use.

"I can put in a request for it to be installed." Kylo offered.

"No that's quite alright. Actually learning it is interesting." Runa informed.

"And learning quickly you are Master Runa." D-7TE chimed in. 

"D-7TE has also been telling me about all the different planets it's visited." She smiled kindly to the droid.

Ah. Another use for protocol droids. Errands. Nothing too important, can't trust a droid for that. Most of the time they were sent on petty supply runs. But, nevertheless, the droid would have visited many planets as many First Order officers enjoyed exotic dishes. 

"I could bring you to any planet, you know?" Kylo spoke up, "Just tell me where and I'll turn the ship there." 

Runa laughed softly and shook her head, "You're quite the romantic."

"I mean it." He said strongly. 

"Well," she pushed herself up, "we could use a vacation." 

She looked over her shoulder to D-7TE. "Would you mind leaving us for awhile?" She asked politely with a beaming smile.

"Of course Master Runa. Do know that I enjoyed our talk while Master Kylo Ren was out."

She only smiled and nodded in response as she watched the droid leave the pair alone. She turned her attention back to Kylo, a playful smirk spread across her lips.

"It would fun," he spoke up, "you could take me to a cantina and order some of those colorful drinks." He mussed and drew himself closer to her. "I would dance for you. You would dance for me. It would be quite a fun party." 

"A very fun party. Just the two of us." She smirked wickedly.

Kylo sighed as Runa playfully let the bed sheet slip slightly revealing just the tips of her nipples. She pressed herself to him, not allowing him to gaze. He took her hips in his hands and tried to slide the sheet off her body, but Runa wasn't having it.

"You're rather eager aren't you?" She toyed coyly. "You kept me waiting you know." She put emphases on the 'me'. 

"I didn't want to." He breathed as he thumbed the fabric of the sheet. 

Using one hand to hold up the bed sheet, she cupped his cheek and gave him a quick peck on the corner of his mouth. He tried to return her kiss but she pulled away. She rolled her shoulders back and began to walk towards the bathroom. She peered over her shoulder lightly, "I'm going to wash. Undress and join me will you?" She briefly winked at him before letting the fabric roll down her body, exposing her back to him. 

Kylo was quick to rid himself of clothes. Pulling and throwing things over his head messily. He nearly tripped getting out of his boots as he hopped from foot to foot pulling them off. He heard the shower running, the water pattering against the floor. He stood at the doorway and saw Runa's blurry outline through the curtain. He smirked to himself before stepping in with her. The water was a bit warm for his tastes. He was more of a cold shower guy, but there was no way he was complaining now.

She looked to him from he corner of her eye as she threaded her now damp hair. She wondered what all that hair of his would look like soaked. She turned to him and standing on her toes, she began to run water through his thick hair. She was carefully not to pull on it as she weaved the water through his locks. A hand ran up her side, caressing her soft and lovingly. She brought her hands away from his now soaked hair and kissed his ear as she stood down. 

They both reached for soap and slowly began washing each other's bodies. Their hands lingering and dragging across their skin and lips occasionally making contact with the beads of water that trickled down their bodies. Runa carefully washed the scratches on his back that she had gave him. She could hear him moan quietly as she roamed over and pushed against them. She smirked as she reached her hand around and make contact with his hardening phallus. She gently stroked him, her fingers carefully pressed against his tender flesh. 

He tipped his head back slightly as she massaged him. She was so tauntingly slow and gently. It made Kylo frustrated. He took her hand in his and began guiding her to stroke faster.

"So eager..." She sighed again and complied with his request. But only for a bit. She brought her hand away which caused Kylo to groan. She turned her back to him and closed her eyes as the water fell to her face. She lifted her hair up and began to wring it out as water was beginning to heavy it. 

She gasped shortly when she felt Kylo's hands at her back gently washing and scrubbing her. His hand smoothly kneaded her flesh causing her to sigh. A hand found its way to her thigh and traveled dangerously close to her heat. Kylo noted how wet she was, and it wasn't the water from the shower. He slyly slid one of his fingers into her warmth. She gasped and suppressed a moan. He was still inside her for a moment, hearing her shaky moans emit from her lips. He began to circle his finger inside her in a slow and fluid motion. Her shoulders stiffened and her hair fell to her back as her hands shook. Kylo smirked and took his other hand from her back. He took himself in his hand and slowly began to pump himself in unison with his finger circling.

She threw her head back and gasped when she felt him enter another finger. Her knees buckled and she reached out to the wall for support. He pumped his fingers inside of her, never once removing one. She panted and lightly swiveled her hips against his fingers. Her hands griping and scratching at the walls as he thrusts his fingers mercilessly insider her craving heat. She was sopping wet now, her fluid running down her thighs. She was growing tired of his teasing.

"Ren-" She moaned, "Please...more..." She panted breathlessly as she bucked her hips against him. 

"So eager." He grunted as he taunted her.

Runa deserved that. She knew she did. But she also deserved to be properly fucked. "Ren..." She begged with narrowed eyes.

She whimpered at the sudden absence of his fingers but soon felt the tip of him brush against her opening. He teasingly rubbed himself between her folds. She groaned frustratingly and pushed her hips against him, but was stopped by a firm grip to her hip. He continued to poke and prod, coating himself in her. He entered her suddenly and hard. 

The pain of her first time was now a distant memory. 

She practically cried out as he penetrated her and began thrusting. She moaned loudly at his intense motions and rolled her hips against him. She could hear him panting furiously behind her as drove himself further into her. Her walls sharply gripped onto his girth and she felt her body tremble in excitement . His thrusts were hard and powerful, but never harrowing. She tried desperately to cling onto the wet wall, but her fingers only slid against it's surface. 

 His hand snaked around her and began to massage her heated clit. Her eyes went wide and she had to stop herself from screaming out in ecstasy. The tip of his finger rolled and pushed against its highly sensitive surface. She cried out his name and he hummed in response. He brought his lips to her shoulder and neck and began to kiss and suck greedily at her skin. He pressed and ground his finger against her bead. She shuddered when the knot within her tightened sharply. Agonizing pleasure was all she felt now.

He took his fingers away from her clit and moved his hand to her thigh. He griped the flesh there tightly before hoisting her leg upwards. Runa panted heavily at the change in position. Kylo made sure to help her keep her balance as she stood on one leg. Who knew simply lifting her leg would give him so much more access.  He wasted no time driving himself up into her. Her rapid moans fueled his fury as he thrusted into her with feral intensity.  He groaned against her as he throbbed inside of her. His hips began to piston at a beastly rate as he became more motivated as he throbbed inside her. 

The sensation of the water beating down onto their heated skin was definitely something they would have to try again. 

His voice rose and his body began to sense up. He grit his teeth as the muscles in his body began to spasm. His thrusts continued to be hard as his rode out his orgasm, savoring every lasting second of it. Runa was quick to come undone. The knot inside her unraveled violently, sending her through a roaring orgasm. Her legs twitched slightly as it ripped through her. 

His thrusts came to a sluggish stop as he could no longer retain his stamina. The two panted deeply as the water still poured onto them. Kylo released his hold on her and slowly withdrew himself. Runa tried to stop herself from sliding against the wall. She leaned against it and shakily reached for the nozzle. Her eyes kept falling as the water stopped and everything grew quiet around them. She heard Kylo step out of the shower, and steadied her breathing. She pushed herself from the wall and left the warmth of shower.

Kylo quickly wrapped a towel around her and she clung on to it. She inhaled sharply when he picked her up in his arms. She knew he was tired too, but he was always so kind to her. He placed her on his bed and climbed down on top of her. Their lips collided sloppily and broke away with a loud smack. He laid down next to her and brought her into his chest.

She sighed and nuzzled against him. She shivered at the chill in his room. It was worse now that she was damp. "You like to keep your room  cold?" She whispered, jarring him awake. 

"Hm? Oh yes. It helps me concentrate when I'm communing with the force. I can get the technician to reprogram it?" 

She shook her head against him, "You don't need to do that for me." 

"I'd do anything for you, Runa." He said with a small yawn. Then he remembered Snoke's threat. He tensed and his eyes shot wide open. He would need to tell her about Snoke. Sooner rather than later. He braced himself, "Runa?"

"Hnn?" She sighed. 

"I need to tell you something." 

"What is it?" She yawned.

"Snoke-he-he knows about us." He felt her go stiff and heard her breath get caught in her throat. 

"O-Oh.." Was all she said. 

"No, it's fine. He's fine with it. And we shouldn't want to keep it a secret from him anyway." He explained as best as could.

Runa was silent and still stiff against him. She didn't like that Snoke knew. She understood the deception part but-He could exploit them. Make them use each other and that terrified her.

"Runa?" Kylo called to her. 

"It's a good thing he knows. He should know." She masked her worry.

Kylo nodded, "Yes. We'll be fine. We're safe." He was saying that more for himself rather than Runa. She said nothing more to him and slowly they began to drift to sleep. Runa still laying stiff in Kylo's arms.

 ---

Runa hummed softly as she opened her eyes. Her vision was a brief blur before the world around her steadied. She was alone in bed. She sat up quietly and ran a hand over her face. She arched her back as she stretched her limbs. Even some combat training sessions didn't make her this sore. The towel she had slept in was now dry and stiff, but nevertheless she wrapped herself in it and got up from bed.

She approached the bathroom door, noticing it was ajar. She saw Kylo, who was dressed a loose robe, standing in front of the mirror. He was tipping and turning his chin, like he had just shaved. "You shave?" She said from the doorway.

He turned to her and smiled lightly, "Yeah. Was never a big fan of facial hair." He walked to her, and planted a kiss to her head before leaving the bathroom. "Hungry?" He asked and she nodded. "Good, I had some food delivered to us."  

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting. Was I asleep for long?" She asked taking a seat across from him.

He shook his head, "No. I just didn't want to wake you. Did you know you tend to mumble in your sleep?" He asked taking a bite from his food.

She choked out a laugh, "Did you know you snore? Loudly?"

"Do not." He retorted, his mouth stuffed with food.

She smiled and took a small bite. It were little things like this Runa liked. It made her feel normal. Reminded her of when her parents would eat breakfast together. Though, this was nothing like that and neither her or Kylo were normal. Her thoughts were brought back to Snoke. He approve of their courtship, but he was manipulative. There was a reason Runa was glad not see him often when under Kylo's training. 

"Are you alright?" Kylo asked her. She brought her gaze up to him and nodded quickly. He brought his utensils down and stared at her. "It's about Snoke, isn't it?"

She looked away and that was all she needed to do for Kylo to understand. "We'll be fine, Runa. He said he had no issue with it. We just must recognize we have our duties as well."

"What if one of our duties is to..What is he asks one of to ki-"

He quickly grabbed her hand, "Don't ask questions like that." 

"How can I not?" She whispered.

"Snoke needs us. He needs the Knights. We're too valuable to him." Kylo assured her, stroking her hand with his thumb. "Besides, I would never do that. Not to you. I love you." 

She smiled sadly, "I love you too. I won't worry about it anymore."

They continued their meal in peaceful silence. Runa's worries never left, but they were quieted for now. She would need to trust Kylo for this. He knew Snoke better than she did. What he was telling her had to have some truth to it. But even if there was truth, Runa still didn't have to like it. Runa was aware of some relationships within the First Order. They had never openly confessed anything, but she could tell. Snoke never seemed to bother them about so perhaps he would leave her and Kylo alone.

They spent awhile finishing their meal, knowing they would need to go back to being members of the First Order after they left this room. The two slowly and regrettably dressed. They had almost gotten used to it being just them. But they had things they needed to do. Her training was not complete and she would train all day. Yet, when the night reached them, they would become united once again. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaas more sex!
> 
> I decided not to go with a hidden love thing were Snoke is like u must be virgin 4ever. So he's going to allow it. (key word: allow)
> 
> Thank you all so much for love! It means a lot <333


	9. Chapter 9

The days within the First Order were fast now. Hasty, blistering, and impetuous. Only when they were together did time ever feel slow. However slow it felt, time waits for no one and there was no exception for them. Through the insanity of time they took solace in each other. Days spend together had a completely different blur to it. Yet, the days were beginning to change. The days of idle work were now over and new challenges would present themselves. Training had reached its full extent or at least that was what they were told. A fate had now been opened, a fate that had been groomed since she was taken under his wing. Runa Lonova's time was dry and a new beginning for a Knight was being birthed. Or at least she hoped. 

Her gaze was that of a fade, clouded and distorted. She kept it low, almost unseen as she sat in the shuttle. Kylo was with her, his hand enclosed around hers. He offered her peace of mind and comfort but fear was a greater emotion. She feared the unknown and the uncertainty of where she was going and what would await her. It was never expressed to her how Knights became Knights. Understandably a secret process. She had questioned Kylo about it, but he had no answers. He had no initiation. He had, however, eliminated the newly found Jedi Order. But that was different. Or that's what he told her. Runa was glad he said that wasn't an initiation, she did not want to go and kill an entire group of people just yet. However, he couldn't provide much information after that. He told her he had never seen a Knight's initiation and had never paid it any mind. He was concerned for her, that much was true, but he was also confident. She knew she should be confident. She had been trained by the best of them, but still her and Kylo were different people. 

If the tasks were selective to each Knight's strengths then Runa could only assume it had to with mending wounds. That's what she excelled at and liked doing. Yet, she doubted that wounded soldiers would be thrown at her feet needing attention would be wait awaited her. Or perhaps it was more interrogation of the mind and body? She was indeed selective in that. It was pointless to question. It was pointless to assume. She would only know the truth when she arrived. And that time was now. 

She closed her eyes briefly as she felt the shuttle land. There was no time for fear now, but Runa couldn't push it back. She thought for a moment it would swallow her whole. However, Kylo steadied her. He brought her face to his and gently caressed her cheek with his gloved hand. With a somber smile she placed her hand over his and brought herself closer into his caress. Their lips begged to meet, but the cover of a mask and the eyes of unwanted guests stopped them. Neither spoke. They didn't have to. Their words would serve no purpose. 

Kylo was the first to exit the shuttle with Runa keeping her distance behind him. Her eyes were met with red sand, crumbled rocks, and a burning sun. The crimson sun radiated darkly, staining everything in its red fever. She felt no warmth here. She only felt cold. 

This was a sith planet. A long dead sith planet with no life expect the mutated primitives who radiated the same as the sun. History was thick here. Too thick to even be cut by a lightsaber. This planet only knew death now. Whatever life it held had been erased along with its history. Would death become her if she failed here?

Another shuttle soon landed and Runa could sense who was aboard. It was strange for her to see him in person again rather than via holo. Since her first meeting with him she had only seen him in holocommunications. He was just as grotesque as she remembered. His dry and sunken eyes stared at her as she bowed in respect. He silently lifted his hand and Runa immediately rose to face him.

He stared at her for a moment before speaking, "Your time training as an apprentice has passed. Let us see if it was worth it." 

Her eyes never left his, "What would you have me do?"

"You will see." His gaze broke contact as he turn towards his guards. "Bring her to the coordinates I provided you." The guards nodded and gestured for Runa to follow them. She sat in the back of the speeder, waiting for the guards to take her where she was needed. She restricted herself from looked over her shoulder to find Kylo. Business before pleasure. She felt him looking at her, hiding his gaze under his mask. She felt him worry for her but also felt his faith. As the speeder distanced them apart, she knew now that there was no one there to calm the fear that threatened to swallow her whole.

\---

The guards left her in area heavily occupied by long and tall jagged rocks. They gave her no information as to what she should do just as she suspected. There was no sound and nothing to see. The sun become an overcast by the spirals of earth that towered over her. Still she felt cold, colder now actually. Teachings said the cold was a product of the dark side. That is where she needed to go. Go to where it is coldest. And so she trudged on through the red planet. 

The cold from the dark side was not like the cold of the wind or snow. It did not cause one's breath to become visible or for frost to form. It colds the entire body in and out. One not gifted in the force cannot feel this cold. Those gifted in it can and inexperienced or unsuspecting individuals can become overcome by it. Insanity was common among dark side wielders. Luckily for her, she was not wholly entrapped in it.

She would need to follow it though, she was sure it would lead her to her challenge. The possibilities of what it could be and what she didn't want it to be were endless.  She half expected the guards who brought her here to attack her and that would be her task. But no, that would be too easy. Too predictable. A sith planet could offer her more. A sith spawn perhaps. The radiation from the sun could create something like that. Was she hunting a beast? It would explain the intense dark side presence. She was no hunter, but if she were to succeed it would prove a worthy test. Time would tell if she was right.

Her eyes were opened but they saw nothing for her. Sight would not lead her to the presence. Her mind was wide open, her sensing sensitive to the slightest pulse in the force. She had been following for awhile now. Climbing the spirals that shaded her from the sun. Her hands were callusing and skin began to turn a soft shade of pink from gripping onto the rocks. She pulled herself up one last time, rolling on her back as soon as she reached the top. Her chest heaved up and down. Despite not feeling any warmth in her body, she felt the sweat on her forehead. She needed to be careful. Not feeling the heat from the sun could kill her. It was exhausting her, but she needed to keep going. She took a deep breath and pushed herself up. 

It was stronger than ever now as she walked among the ruins of a time long before her. Broken carvings and collapsed statues surrounded her. It was heavy here, weighing her down with every step. She shivered as the feelings of those who once roamed these parts flooded the area. She told herself to remember her training, but her thoughts were filled with fear. The cold she felt had grown into a numbing fear. She clenched her fists and slowly shut her eyes to steady herself. She took deep and slow breaths to center herself. 

Her eyes flew open when she heard the crackle of lightsaber behind her. Her attention remained forward and her fists unwound. It was no sith spawn she was fighting. It was someone who could wield a lightsaber. A Jedi would seem unlikely. A fellow Knights seemed much for probable. Perhaps a past Knight even. A Knight defending their place within the ranks. 

She rolled her shoulders back and whipped around, releasing her lightsaber from its sheath. With a sharp gasp she gazed upon her opponent. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were unmoving. The grip on her saber lightened and almost slipped from her grasp.

In front of her was indeed no sith spawn. Nor was it a Knight. But the splitting image of herself. A perfect mirror image. Nothing about her was different. She wore the same clothes, wielded the same lightsaber, held the same face. Though her face was like stone, gazing at Runa with stern eyes and a flat frown. 

Runa lightly shook her head, "I don't understand." She said nothing in return, only pointing her saber at Runa. "Who are you?" Runa muttered. Still nothing. She took off, darting straight at Runa. Runa's eyes widened and defensively brought her saber. The sabers collided causing sparks to spew off. Runa tried desperately to hold back her attacker's hit but she was forceful as she pushed her saber against Runa's. 

Runa leaned her head back as her own saber drew closer to her neck. She could feel the heat radiating off of it onto her skin. With a large groan, Runa pushed her back far enough to gain distance away from her mysterious attacker. "Who are you!" Runa asked again, her voice shaking as she shouted. Still there was no reply just another attack and many of them. Runa blocked the blows one after one, trying not to lose her footing. Her attacker was quick and fierce. Mercilessly trying to cut Runa down where she stood. Each attack that was blocked was followed up by an even stronger one. A hand made contact with Runa's chin, causing her to fall back.

That it was similar to the ones she had landed on Kylo during her training. This woman fought like Runa too, stronger even. Runa rolled away from a strike and quickly got to feet once more. Her hands trembled as she held her saber in her hands. Her attacker gave her no time to recover as she continued striking at her.

Their sabers collided once more, pushing at each other. Runa grit her teeth as their sabers remained at a standstill. The more she pushed against it, the stronger her attacker resisted.

"You are weak." She finally spoke. They even had the same voice. 

"Who are you!" Runa demanded. She didn't reply, returning to her silent stature. Runa grunted frustratingly and used the force to push her attacker back. Her attacker narrowed her eyes and a rock came flying towards Runa. She used her lightsaber to cut through it and another soon followed. She scowled and threw it past her with a wave of her hand. Then another came and then another. Soon Runa found herself overwhelmed. Slashing and cutting away at the debris as they bombarded her. A mere distraction as her attack had charged once again.

Her attacker kicked her to the ground. Runa panted heavily as she lay there. 

"You are afraid." Her attacker spoke up again. Runa shot her a glare and jumped up, swinging her saber. Her attacker blocked it, holding back Runa's push. "You tremble before what you have created." She spoke again. 

Runa furrowed her brow and withdrew away only to try and strike again. Her attacker deflected her attack.

"You are full of fear even as you face me."

Another swing deflected.

"Your fear has led you to this point. To your fall." 

A missed attacked. Runa was beginning to slow and drain. 

"Your fear will strike you down." 

Is this what this was? Her fear? Her worries? Were her own feelings attacking her? It didn't make sense. None of it made sense. "This isn't real. You're not real." Runa whispered. 

"It is very real. You are feeling it right now. Fear of dying. Fear of the unknown. You can't take it away." 

"Stop!" Runa shouted as she attacked. 

"You are afraid. You are terrified. You have always been and you always will be." 

Her attacker slashed Runa's lightsaber out of her grasp and sent a harsh kick to her gut. She hit the floor with a thud, the back of her head colliding with the floor first. A loud ringing bounced around in her head and her eyes struggled to stay open. It was true. All of it. She has always been afraid. Since the very first day Kylo brought her here. No, ever before that. She has never been able to trump over her fear like she told herself. She had only repressed it and each time its resurface was stronger. That's why her attacker was stronger. It was her fear. All her fears combined into her body. And now it threatened to strike her down after its imprisonment. 

"It is time your fear truly engulfed you." 

No. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. This wasn't how she was supposed to die. All of her training-had it been for nothing? Had it all been a waste of time? Had she failed as an apprentice? Could she really have no control over her fear? Was she doomed to be consumed in it? To be driven mad by it like many before her?

"You are nothing now."

No. No she wasn't. She was an apprentice of Kylo Ren, the Master of the Knights of Ren. She was better than this. Better than them. She had trained for this moment. She had been trained to become a Knight. Failure was not an option. If her family could see her now, if they were to see her to be consumed by fear, their disappointment would burn into her. No, she was a victim of fear no longer.

"Nothing but a coward." Her attacker swung the lightsaber down hard only to be stopped by Runa's hand. Runa concentrated her power into the palm of her hand to hold back her attacker's strike. Her attacker's eyes widened, the only time her stone resolve had ever broken. She pushed down harder, but Runa kept forcing her back. Her hand shook slightly as she fended off the blow and her eyes were narrow.

"Peace is a lie. There is only passion." Runa spoke quietly, recalling on words she had heard from whispering artifacts. 

Her attacker gave her a puzzling look before quickly narrowing her eyes and pressing her attack harder.

"Through passion I gain strength." Runa said still holding concentrating the power in her hand. "Through strength I gain power." 

Her attacker curled her lip, "Fall!" 

Runa would do no such thing. "Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken." Her voice rose as she spoke the words she had been taught

There was panic now on her attacker's face and Runa's was stone. Only the words Kylo had taught her remained.

"The force shall set me free." 

Power and adrenaline pumped through her veins and Runa knew she was no longer afraid. Runa pushed back her attacker, causing her to collide into a broken pillar. Runa jumped to her feet and called her saber into her hands. In a rush it lit up and she charged at her attacker. With concentration and strength she struck her attacker whom was helpless to keep up. Her attacks were strong yet controlled, abandoning the unrestricted and overwrought style from before. Take power from fear and use it to strike those who oppose you down.

She shut her eyes as she struck down and cut through her attacker. Then all was still once more. Runa opened her eyes and felt warm. Her world came back to her and there was no attacker to be found. Her lightsaber was still strapped to her side and nothing had been moved. It was done. Her task had been completed. She heard a speeder approach from behind and apparently Snoke knew this as well. All that was left was to face him.

\---

She hopped off the speeder and saw Snoke waiting for her with Kylo at his side. Kylo stopped himself from running to her while in the presence of Snoke. She knelt before him, respectfully. Snoke studied her for a moment. He had the guards stay by and watch her and kept his senses on her. He was rather pleased with the outcome.

"Rise." He said smoothly and Runa complied. "You have met my expectations, young one. I deem you fit to hold the title of Veeta Ren."

Ruan felt a sense of accomplishment wash over her and her sighed silently. "I thank you for this Supreme Leader." She thanked bowing her head.

"All subordinates will refer you to as such and you will be granted the use of a Star Destroyer when you wish. Mold your future in the First Order's favor."

"I will bring strength to the First Order and honor your guidance." She was beginning to sound like a solider. It was strange to be given a title of Ren and to be handed her own ship. She had never killed Runa Lonova. That's who she was and who she would always be. There was no need for her to be destroyed and Snoke knew this. Veeta Ren was not a name. It was a title of respect to be held within the First Order and among the Knights.

Snoke turned his attention to Kylo, who had been standing silently as of now. "You have done well, Kylo Ren. Much better than I anticipated."

"All from your guidance, Supreme Leader." Kylo said.

"Until she is ready to depart to her own ship or until I call upon her she may stay on your ship."

"I thank you for your generosity." Kylo nodded his head.

Generous indeed. Runa was almost sure she would have to leave Kylo, but even Snoke was open to rewards when they have been earned. Though they were held by a leash, they could still remain together. For now.

"Supreme Leader." One of his guards called presenting a box to him.

"Ah yes." Snoke looked to Runa. "With your title comes your mask. Wear it Veeta Ren, for it is what separates you from the weak."

The box was held out to her and she hesitated to open it. Wearing a mask conceals much more than one's face. It conceals emotions and personality. Dehumanizes people. She never liked them to wear them. It was disconnecting and detaching. She had no choice here though. Business over pleasure. She needed to remember that.

She took the silver mask in her hand, marveling at its craftsmanship. It was simplistic in design but elegantly crafted. She ran her fingers over the small grooves that lined the frame. Small indents lined the cheeks giving some depth to its appearance. Along the chin of the mask were intricate carvings that curved up the side and to the brow. It looked like something that would take a lifetime to create and yet it here it was in her hands. She carefully put it on, keeping her eyes closed as she did so. The world around her did not change. Her vision of her surroundings were the same. She didn't know what she expected to change but nothing did. It was simply a mask that hid her face.

She bowed before Snoke once more in gratitude, her eyes still connected to his even with the mask concealing them. He said nothing more to her, turning away and heading for his shuttle. She watched him go. Watched the shuttle dissipate into the sky. It was over. It was done. A Knight she had now become.

Exhaustion had taken its tole on her. She collapsed into the arms of her former Master. She heard him speak to the troopers, telling them to do something. She didn't care what was being said or what was happening. She simply yearned for amenity of sleep.

\---

She awoke from a dreamless sleep in the medbay. Her bagged eyes squinting as soon as they opened. It was bright, very bright and all was docile. A needle in her arm would suggest she was receiving fluids or sedation. Great, now she was drugged up and in a fog. She was still dressed in regular attire, which would suggest she did not require any stitching. She slowly pushed herself up, leaning against the firm durasteel frame. A medical droid entered the room, drawing Runa's attention. It moved towards one of the many machines that surrounded her. 

"Your vitals have recovered, Veeta Ren." Yes, that's right. Her title-she would need to get used to that. The droid moved to her, and ceased the flow of fluids into her arm. With a small pinch the needle was removed and placed on a sanitation tray. Even after her sleep she still felt tired, no doubt the fluids influence. However, she did not want to sleep anymore. Too much sleep would only further the fog. 

Her senses were returning to her and the daze was disappearing. She fought off the sweet temptation of sleep. She lazily brought her gaze to the medical droid. It was leisurely transmitting information onto a datapad. She sighed heavily let her eyes close. It was too bright in here. She just needed to rest her eyes for a moment. And brief her rest was. The door to her room opened and she casually opened her eyes. 

"Leave droid." His voice came and she smiled lightly. He waited for the droid to exit before approaching her bed. He sat on the small bench next to it, his back leaning against the wall. He noticed her mask was sitting next to him, no doubt waiting to be worn again. Veeta Ren, her new title. His new Knight. Her success was predictable to him and eagerly welcomed. He poured all this abilities- all his heart into her and she was perfect.

"How long was I out?" She pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Not long," he began quietly, "You were heavily dehydrated and needed to be cleansed of radiation poison."  

An eyebrow arched at the word poison," That sounds pleasant, radiation poison that is." 

"The First Order has top grade medical treatments." He informed her.

"I must be in good hands then."

"I'd prefer if you were in mine." He smirked under his mask, his words coated in velvet.

Runa tried her best to conceal the small flush that crept onto her cheeks. Curse that witty mouth of his. Curse it with her lips. Curse it with her fingers. Curse it with her- Her flush deepened. No, there was no room for those activities in her small medicot. 

"So how was it? I mean what did you..?" He spun the conversation on its head. He tried to word his question the best way he could. So nervous and yet so witty. 

"Would you believe me if I said I went into this weird meditation and had to literally fight my fear filled self? Because it went something like that." She said as simplistic as she could.

"That.." He paused, "Does sound pretty unbelievable. But I believe you." He added quickly in the end.

"I still don't believe it." She breathed and exhale. 

"What was that like? How did you do it?" He inquired curiously. 

"It was difficult. They-me-it? Whatever, it was strong. I had no idea I had so much suppressed fear. It was time I stopped being so afraid-"

"Afraid of what?" He interrupted. 

Runa sighed, "A lot of things. Too many things." 

"How did you overcome it?" 

"I remembered everything you told me and.." She trailed off. He tilted his head and encouraged her to continue. "And I called on the sith code. I know we are not sith, we're on the fault line, but it gave me strength."

"Considering it is a code about power, it makes sense."

"No, it's more than that. It's about freedom. It gave me freedom from the consumption of fear." She explained stone faced. She sighed when Kylo remained silent. It was an old code after all, unused and archived. Comprehension of it has been lost to time. Who knows, this could be all the fluids talking.

He took her hand gently, "Whatever possessed you to succeed it did its job well. I may not understand it, but what I do understand is that you are now a Knight or Ren." 

She smiled at his comforting words and squeezed his hand. "Yes. Veeta Ren. Is that what you'll call me now?" 

"When I must. When we're being professional." He stroked her thumb with his. 

"Good. Because I wouldn't want you to forget about Runa." 

He hummed lowly and smirked. "How could I possibly forget her?" He trailed his hand up her arm and to her chest. His hand now resting gently over her heart. "How could I forget her body?" His hand roamed further. "Forget how she makes me feel." His hand now trailing down her abdomen. She moaned slightly when his hand found her clothed heat. "Forget how much I love her." He was whispering now as his hand slipped past the rim of her pants. She gasped his name when he teased her with his gloved hand. The cold fabric of the leather pushing into her was an exotic feeling. So smooth and so cold. She instinctively swirled her hips as he toyed with her, his clothed thumb pushing against her bead. She bit her lip and arched her back as another smooth leather finger made its way into her. An interesting thought that all those fluids had heightened her sensitivity. Coincidence seemed unlikely. 

"Let me hear you." His voice was a husk distorted by that dreadful mask. 

"Droids...Doctors.." She spoke through gasps and pants.

"Yes, it would be rather discouraging if they were to walk in. Unless you liked being watched?" He suggested as he began thrusting his fingers inside of her tauntingly. She strained a moan. Why must everything about him be so damned large?

"Do you? Like being watched? How perverse you are..." He withdrew from her and began to rub and massage her folds. She whimpered helplessly at his absence and tried to push herself back onto his rocking fingers.

"Now now..." He toyed, "Answer the question." The tip of his finger prodding at her sopping heat while the other mercilessly attacked her clit. 

"Only when-" she struggled, "Only when it's you. Only if you were the one watching-" Another pant. "Only then would I like it." 

He hummed and gave her the reward her body had been begging for. She threw her head back and lightly smiled in ecstasy when his fingers buried themselves deep within her. He pumped her hard, watching with amusement as she became so undone by the simple use of his fingers. She was grinding her hips into his hand, begging for more. His thumb returned to her aching bud, flicking and circling it with intensity. His leather glove was still cold and smooth despite its environment. She cried out yes after yes no longer holding back her voice.

"You like these don't you?" He said indicating to his non occupied gloved hand. She nodded frantically and Kylo made a mental note of this. He hummed once more and slid his hand under her shirt. His fingers immediately found her perked nipples. He pinched and pulled at them slightly and she moaned ecstatically in response. She shivered under the cold leather, her hands clawing at the crisp sheet of her medicot. 

"Ren..I-I!" She whimpered as the tight knot within her writhed. His only response was another low and hungry hum. Her thighs tensed and her fingers strained apart as an orgasm over took her. Her mouth hung open and her back arched stiffly as the intensity rocked through her. Her cry of ecstasy came out a dry whimper as her orgasm reached its end. Her back flopped down onto the medicot and deep pants filled the room. 

Kylo removed his fingers from insider her and abandoned her breasts. He brought his hand up to his face, thumbing and moving the remnants from Runa's orgasm. He tutted softly at his now tarnished glove. "Favorite pair of gloves sullied." He was lying of course. He could care less about some stupid pair of gloves, but the opportunity presented itself. 

He brought his hidden gaze back to her. "I believe a suitable punishment is in order." 

She turned to him eagerly, "Yes, of course." He brought his hand down to her and she naturally began sucking on his dirtied fingers. The taste of herself excited her and she swirled her tongue around pleasantly. He withdrew his fingers with a pop and stroked her cheek. 

"Be a good girl now." He purred and brought her hand to his throbbing groin. She leaned up so she was just the appropriate height and eyed his erection pressing eagerly against his clothes. She palmed it carefully before releasing it. Her hot breath brushed against the head and she did not hesitate to welcome him. 

Kylo let out a groan at the tight enclosed warmth that enveloped him. Her tongue brushed the underside of him as she bobbed her head. Teeth lightly scraped against the tender skin and he shuddered with a loud moan escaping his lips. He began to buck his hips up and down slightly, causing Runa to latch onto his thighs for support. His hands tangled in her hair and he thrusted himself into her mouth. She was so warm and humid as she encased him and was very eager to please. She swished him to either sides of her cheek, desperate for as much depth as possible. She used her tongue to circle and swirl around the shaft causing his erection to be coated in a glistening sheen of warm saliva. He gripped her hair tighter and his groans were getting louder and his breathing more desperate. His thrusts were now beastly and unchained, Runa dug her nails into his thighs to hold on. 

He hissed through his teeth, "Yes..Runa...Take it all will you?"

With fastened intensity and pace he unraveled. His teeth were grit and he growled as he spent himself down her throat. Runa hummed lightly as she swallowed everything he gave her. His thrusts stopped sluggishly and he exhaled a deep sigh as he finished himself. Runa pulled away and gasped, breathing heavily. A small line of saliva mixed with produce from Kylo's orgasm trailed down the corner of her mouth. 

"Careful now." He whispered as he used his thumb to bring it back into her mouth. She hungrily accepted it and lapped every drop up. He dragged his thumb down her lip, carrying a trail of saliva with him. Both were panting now, both were well spent. Kylo covered himself and Runa leaned up against the backrest. still riding on her high.

"Let's get out of here." She smiled pulling herself out of the bed.

"Agreed." 

"No. Let's get off this ship." She corrected.

"What?" He spoke with surprise. 

"Let's go somewhere. Just us." She latched onto his arm. "To a cantina." 

Kylo looked at her, she was smiling softly and her eyes were clouded. Her drug induced stupor had not worn off it seemed. In fact, it seemed worse now. "Those are the fluids talking." 

"No Ren. My celebration for becoming a Knight was staying in medicot with the world's least talkative droid." 

Kylo's brow rose, "I don't think that's how it works."

"Come on, Ren. You've never been to one and this is the time for one. Remember what you said? If I'd dance for you? I surely would there."

"And I would for you." Kylo said quietly.

"Then let's go. Just for this night. It won't be hard to get a shuttle, we are Knights of Ren."

"That's exactly why we can't go." Kylo sighed. The temptation of a cantina was rather tasteful. 

"Well, we'll have D7 gather us some casual clothes. No one will be the wiser if we dress like actual civilians." 

Kylo thought for a moment. It would be a welcomed break and Snoke had to need for them as of now. A time to be-well-normal. Kylo wasn't sure if he knew what that meant anymore, but Runa was willing to show him. They wouldn't have to fly far, there were planets nearby and all inhabited planets had cantina's right? Runa certainly thought so. A night out with music and drinks was very different from their usual nights together. Hopefully both would have the same outcome. 

"Okay. Just this night. I'll comm D7 now." 

She smiled and thanked him. She needed this. One last night without the burden of being a Knight. One night of being with Kylo causally. One night of normality. The last night without a mask occupying her face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm is what I'd call this chapter (and a lil bit into next chapter). I have three ideas for how this story could end but I can't decide on one, which is horribly frustrating. I may need your help on the decision but it isn't ending yet. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this (weird) chapter! And thank you all so much for the love! <33


	10. Chapter 10

Kylo's left leg kept fidgeting and his fingers kept curling piecing of his hair as the shuttle they commandeered came to a steady landing. The troopers were easy to bypass. It were those stuck up officers that took some convincing to turn a blind eye. Luckily, fear was the Knights' greatest intimidation tacit. There would be no record of this shuttle's departure. Which did not seem much of an issue to begin with. Knights and even officers took shuttles all the time without notification. However, the destination is rarely a cantina. Scratch that, the destination is never a cantina. In the very back of his mind he knew Snoke would disprove of this and even further back he heard someone telling him to enjoy himself.

Kylo tried to tell himself to be steady, but he felt strange. Strange to be out of his normal environment and strange to be out of his normal attire. This one was...well it was familiar in an unpleasant way. Kylo Ren had never dressed like this, but someone who was long dead had. An ivory shirt with a collar that dipped to the top of his pectorals. A dark pine vest with closed pockets that served no purpose. Dark brown pants that were partially covered by even darker boots. And of course leather gloves that he wore to cover up fingerprints. Yes strictly fingerprint coverage. Of course.

He simpered lightly and his eyes were brought to Runa who was piloting the shuttle. She wore an outfit similar to his. Different colors though, and much better looking in it. Her hair was half up, locks pulled gently behind her head with a small clip holding it as the rest of her curls lay against her back. Kylo thought she looked nice. She always looks nice. Stars that was cheesy, he thought.  Her eyes caught his and she tilted her head.

"Nervous?" She asked with a small grin.

"No why?" He shifted in his seat.

She sniffed a laugh, "You're pulling at your hair."

Kylo's eyes widened slightly. He seemed unaware of his action. "Yeah so?" He questioned with a brow arched.

She laughed again, "You always pull at your hair when you're nervous."

His hand immediately dropped and he crossed his arms stubbornly. "Do not." He huffed, blowing a strand of his hair out of his eyes.

"You kick your leg too." She pointed out slyly.

Kylo frowned and steadied his leg, lifting it up and crossing it over his right one. "I'm just trying to pass the time." He grumbled with embarrassment.

"Don't be embarrassed. It's cute." She complimented but it only made Kylo's cheeks tint with red. Which also became subject to Runa's teasing. "That's a good color on you."

He rolled his eyes and brought his hands to the back of his neck. "Oh Stars Runa." He sighed.

"Alright, I'll stop. We're here anyway." She got up from the pilot seat and made way for the shuttle doors. Kylo sat for a moment, still unsure of this was a good idea or not. No, he knew it was a bad idea. He just didn't know if he was gonna go through with it. No wait, yes he was.

"Hey." Runa called from behind, "If you don't want to-we can go back." Kind of her to offer, but she would still be disappointed. It's one night. One night away from it all. One night to indulge in recreation. He got up, or pushed himself up and approached her.

"No. I'm fine really. You know the way right?" Kylo stuffed his fingers in the pant's pockets. Too small to house his hands fully. She smiled at him brightly and practically skipped out of the shuttle. It would take some time walking there seeing as how they had to land the shuttle a little away, but based on the pace Runa was going-they'd be there in no time.

She held onto Kylo's hand tightly as he dragged him into the cantina. The first thing he noticed was it dim inside, red tinted with small neon glows that continuously moved over the entire cantina. The air was thick and full of people. People who danced, drank, talked. There was music like he never heard before. The beat was not thunderous but not soft-somewhere in between. In between screaming and whispering was what he heard. It was...nice. All the different colors and all the different people made up an entire new galaxy in the small area. A new galaxy he was about to explore.

Had he never felt so out of place. People looked to him and he reflectively withdrew to himself. Runa nudged him with her elbow slightly, poking him in his rib cage. "Don't look so stiff. Lighten up a bit. It won't kill you." She breathed a laugh. Oh the irony in that. 

"They're staring at me." He mumbled with insecurity.

Runa laughed and shook her head, "Of course they are. I mean look at you." She placed a hand on his chest and dragged it up the to crook of his neck. "You look good. Really good." She looked at him up and down quickly before flashing him a smirk.

 _Oh,_ Kylo thought. And then his blush returned. However, the red tint and neon lights hid it well. "Are we going to dance now?" He asked a tad awkwardly.

Runa smiled and shook her head. "I don't nearly have enough drinks in me to do that." She gestured her head towards the crowded bar. "Come on let's have some fun." She led him over to the bar, pushing and brushing past people as they made their way to the tall metal stools.

Runa crossed her legs between the twisted metal legs of the stool and leaned casually onto the counter. Kylo tried his best to relax, but there were so many people around. Shoulders and legs constantly touching and swiping against each other. The bartender, a Trandoshan, approached them.

"I'll have a Csohn Ovghra." Runa ordered, her words accented by the name of the drink. The Trandoshan made no comment except for what may have been a nod. She looked to Kylo who was unsure of what to order. "Have you ever had a drink before?" Clearly she wasn't talking about water or a sweet drink.

"No." He answered honestly, saving himself the embarrassment of trying to order something.

A coy and wicked smirk played across Runa's lips and suddenly Kylo feared for the sake of his liver. "He'll have the Nacae Fierfek." The Trandoshan soon left in search for the drinks Runa ordered.

"Please tell me you didn't order something that's going to put my life in danger." He sighed rubbing his temples.

"It was tempting..." She smirked, "But I'd miss you too much."

"How do you know I'll like it?"

"I don't. It's not as much about the taste than it is about the feeling." She smiled taking the drinks from the Trandoshan. She handed Kylo his drink, the multicolored liquid splashing in the glass. She didn't hesitate to take a swig of her bright red drink. She hummed as it flooded down her throat.

Kylo swished his around a bit before bringing the glass to his lips. He slowly, carefully, took a sip. As soon as it hit the back of his throat he began coughing. Runa covered her mouth, trying to stop herself from laughing. It didn't work.

"You're supposed to drink it fast." She explained.

"You tell-" another cough. "me this now!"

Runa sniggered and finished off her first drink. She lightly rubbed his back as he coursed through his coughing attack.

"Like this." She motioned picking up a glass and quickly taking a swig. He slapped his chest a few times as his coughing fit came to an end. He picked up his glass again and did as Runa showed him. It burned significantly less. He gasped as he downed his drink, his head spinning a bit. He blinked a few times and shook his head quickly.

"Good?" She asked.

"Good." He confirmed. "Really good."

"I'll order you something else this time." She beamed and before Kylo could even think to object Runa had already ordered him another exotically named drink.   

"I like this one the best." Kylo said as he held up his newly emptied glass. He placed it next to the group of others. Runa smiled as she finished her drink.

"We'll order a bottle to bring back." She gestured for the bartender.

"How about five." Kylo suggested with a lazy smirk.

"Ohoho!" Runa teased. "Looks like you're becoming an addict." She whispered to the bartender, no doubt asking him to pack up yet another bottle of liquor.

"And you're the provider." He snickered.

Runa was about to smart mouth him but the sound of clapping stopped her. She turned her head around to see a crowd gather on the dance floor. Her eyes lit up, "Oh the singer is about to start!" She grabbed Kylo's hand. "Let's dance." Kylo had no say in the matter, he was already brought to the dance floor. The singer, a purple Rodian, started to play and dance. Runa immediately began to move in sync with the tunes and beat. Flowing and moving in carefree steps. Kylo stood still and shifted his gaze.

"Come on! Loosen up!" She encouraged as she moved.

He brought a hand to the back of his neck, unsure of where to start. He began to move his hips slightly but was not very confident.

"Follow my lead." She took his hands on placed them on her hips. "Like this." She showed him, moving slower so he could see. His fingers reactively held onto her tightly and he slowly began to follow her movements. The music got faster and faster and dances began to become more intertwined. They were close now.

"You're a quick learner. Already dancing like a pro." Runa complimented.

"I have a good teacher." He replied. "You dance like this often?"

"Only for you now." She winked.

He thought of how she learned how to dance like this. Thought of the people she had danced with prior. Jealousy was something he may have felt, but it was unnecessary. His hands were on her hips now. Nobody else's would be there again.  

As the songs continued and the dance floor grew more crowded, their dancing soon turned into practically rutting against each other like animals. Shab he was getting hard now and was desperate for more contact. He saw a few sectioned off rooms. Surely he could convince one of the bouncers standing around to give them access to one. Kylo took Runa from the dance floor and she looked up to him questioningly.

"They have private rooms." He said.

"Oh?" She rose a brow

"Perfect place for you to show me some moves in private." He mused.

"Yes, It would. wouldn't it?" She toyed.

Kylo approached one of the bouncers, who shot him a nasty look. Kylo didn't mind however. Plus the mood he was in was not a fighting one.

"You will bring us to one of your private rooms." Kylo ordered.

The obvious weak minded bouncer nodded and repeated back Kylo's instructions. They were led to a door and Kylo swiftly ordered the bouncer away. The two entered quickly, the loud music pounding against the door as they shut it. The room was scattered with pillows and blankets. There may not be a bed, but they could certainly make do without one. It wouldn't be the first time.

He watched Runa explore the room. They were not supposed to draw attention to themselves so this room was a blessing. Kylo didn't think bending her over and taking her in the middle of dance floor was exactly discreet. She turned to him, her eyes calling for him to come to her. And that he did.

"I love that little trick." She referred to ordering the bouncer. "I used to wonder how I got so many free drinks. What good use of my force sensitivity." She laughed quietly, pulling on his vest. She thumbed the fabric, "I like this outfit on you."

"I think you'd love me out of it." He smirked smugly.

She scoffed, "Always so witty, that mouth."

"What are you gonna do to stop it?" He flashed a toothy grin.

"Oh I have a few things in mind." The gap between them was closed, fisting a handful of Kylo's hair to pull him closer into a kiss that instantly passionate and demanding. Kylo groaned lowly, his hands finding their way up the hem of Runa's shirt. She purred at the familiar feeling and gently ran her thumb in circles against Kylo's throat. His gloved fingers gently scraping one of nipples. She moaned into the kiss, biting his bottom lip. She gripped his dark hair tightly, pulling him down onto her.

Alcohol and lust rushed between their bodies as they fell. Kylo moved his lips to attend to her jawline and neck, sucking and licking the tender and soft skin. He relished in the sound of a gasp he pulled from Runa when he nipped at her. Friction was being severed. So much clothing in the way. They clawed and scratched at each others clothing. And Kylo was right. Runa would love him out of that outfit. Runa didn't need to ask him to keep his gloves on.

They couldn't get close enough. Lips to lips. Body to body. It still wasn't enough. Hands hungrily roamed flesh. Piercing and grabbing each chance they got. The desire to devour was engulfing them. Kylo broke their wet kiss and brought his mouth down her body, stopping to nip at the soft he ground to learn were tender for her.

Her breathing was heavy and she brought a finger to her mouth, biting down when Kylo sucked at the skin just above her pubis. A place that always triggered a moan when given attention. His gloved hand traveled slowly up her body, taking time to fondle and pinch her nipples. She smiled and moaned as he toyed with them, pressing and pushing them down. He abandoned her now sore and pink nipples, his hand traveling to her neck. His hand forced her to extend her neck and lean her head back. Fingertips brushed against her chin and his thumb carefully pressed into her neck before traveling to her cheek. He pushed her head slightly to the side, his index finger finding a place in her open mouth.

He brought himself up and watched with a slack jaw as his fingers pressed and pulled at her plump lips. He couldn't stand seeing her mouth without his. He brought himself down to her and quickly remedied this. Runa took his jaw in her hand, pressing her fingers into him. The air between them became charged, searing and intoxicating. Breathing in each other, hands tangling, breathing fast and shallow. Loving each other mercilessly.

Runa heaved her body up, using her momentum to crash down onto him. His back hit the pillows and his knees bent. She fit perfectly on top of him. She snagged her teeth on his lip, biting down before giving him attention elsewhere. He shuddered and moaned quietly as her bites trailed down his veined neck. Her touch softened when she reached his chest, lips now placing quick kisses as she traveled down.

She reached his navel and her eyes peered up to him. His face was red and pleading, eyes closed and brow furrowed. She smirked against him and bit down. He gasped a moan and gripped onto a pillow behind his head. She eyed his erection and brought herself up from his navel. Slick fingers found their way to the engorged head, teasing it. She cupped her hand around him, proceeding to drag painfully and deliciously slow. The warmth of her hand and glide of her rhythm burned Kylo's skin. Gentle and agonizing were her methods. She feathered over engorged veins and briefly entertained the swollen head. She rubbed her thumb against the smooth underside and hid a clever smile when Kylo moaned frustratingly.

She released him suddenly from her magnificent torture. Leaning in closer between his legs she blew hot breaths that lingered over his erection. Kylo's eyes peered open and he looked to her with anticipation. She flashed him a coy smile and sucked at the juncture of his thigh. Kylo groaned as her mouth inched closer and closer, biting and sucking just close enough to what really needed attention. Frustrated and agonized Kylo groaned and cried out.

"Please." He begged.

"What was that?" Runa looked up, cupping a hand behind her ear.

He bucked his hips up but Runa firmly held them down. "What's the matter Ren?" She sneered with acidity.

"Please." He cried out louder. "Runa-Please!"

She hummed satisfied and with acridness whirled her tongue around him. Her shoulders bowed as she took the entirety of his length into her snug mouth. Kylo's eyes began lidded and he choked out shallow pants.She would have smirked had her lips not already been stretched. Her motions were anguish and unforgiving. She bobbed her head slickly over him, coating it with a sleek sheen. She hummed, sending rapturous vibrations down Kylo's nerves. She kissed and sucked at the rigid underside in libidinous and salacious intent before taking his entirety again. Her nose pressing against patch of dark hair that lightly crawled up his abdomen as he held him. Teeth lightly scraped against him, dragging him tauntingly slow. Her tongue jabbed at the weeping slit and Kylo's eyes rolled back.

"Please-" He shivered, "Please Runa-I gotta-I need to get in you." His strung of words were almost incoherent as he choked on sobs. Too soon her mouth was gone and she was smirking before him. She kept a loose hand around him, slowly massaging the leaking head. Kylo practically whimpered when he felt the chill of room hit him. Her eyes scanned over him and she promptly released him.

Kylo sighed as she lifted herself and pressed her hand against his navel. He brought his hands up but she entangled her fingers with his hand returned them to her side. Pleading, he brought his hands up again. Runa narrowed her eyes and used the force to slam his hands down and hold them. Message sent and received, but Kylo was killing to touch her. Too bad for him.

Runa brought her hips up and over him, circling them to just barely brush against his need for her. With lecherous movements they were joined. Runa sighed and leaned her head back as she took him whole. Kylo shuddered beneath her and his hips strained to move, but Runa would not allow that. With hands placed on his navel, she slowly began to grind her hips against him. Shallow moans echoed from her as she rid and swiveled her hips faster. Her fingers snaked up his chest, exploring her playing field. She dug her nails into him and Kylo groaned wretched and broken sounds as she played with him. He hissed passed his teeth when her finger nails dragged across his taunt chest.

Circling and swiveling her hips soon turned into enthusiastically bouncing on to of him. She pumped hungrily and vigorously, feeling every inch of him inside of her. She let out a cry when she began to rub her heated clit against him. Kylo panted and moaned as she danced on top of him. He watched her with ravenous eyes and concupiscent aim. Her fingers sprawled out against his chest, scratching him. Kylo wanted to kiss her fingers, and hold onto her hips. But she was not letting him. She was twsiting and moaning out into the air as she encased him.

Yet she was not without tenderness and mercy. Kylo felt the weight on his hands lift and he swiftly leaned up, clasping his hands at her thighs and kneading the flesh there. One hand clawed at his back while the other held onto the skin just above his knee. Kylo's pants beat against her neck and he began to leave a trail of messy bruises and bite marks. She groaned pleasurably and gasped as Kylo thrusted up into her. With a low growl, his thrusts became fierce and unforgiving. He slammed into her and he panted rapidly as moans emitted from him.He lodged himself inside her and rolls his hips before returning to ferocious methods. His thrusts were animalistic and his nature was absolutely raw, and Runa was loving it.

"Yes..Yes!" She cried out, her nipples brushing against him. "Oh Ren..-More!" He grunted and indulged in her request.  He moaned and grunted as his thrust grew in speed and became even more barbaric. Her hands held onto him tightly, tearing at his flesh with greed. Blood seeped from his back in small beads and Runa wiped her hand across his small wounds as she ached. Soon her hands removed their shackles and the energy flowed between the two. Both their pleasure, both their ecstasy joined together. And they felt it all. All together. All at once- and Runa actually pitied those who lacked the power to join as they did. She loved Kylo more for teaching her.

Their cries were loud now, too loud perhaps. With each thrust a moan left their lips. Runa was calling out to him, pleading with him to go harder- to go faster. He was always eager to comply. "Yes. Yes! That's it-yes!" She panted through her rapture.

"Oh Ren-" She breathed as his teeth sunk down into her. No doubt his motives were too feel the sensation of being bit on his skin. Pants and breathes became quicker in rhythm and shallow. Kylo grunted like animal and Runa screamed like a banshee. Their noises filled the room and both thought not even the blaring music from outside the door could cover up their move making. Fire burned between them, a blaze feeding off their friction. They were unrestrained and held no control.

Runa's fingers tried to play with her breasts, but Kylo possessively slapped them away and devoured them with his mouth. He bit and gnawed on the pink buds. She curled her back when his tongue wheeled around the sensitive flesh. A vase that sat on a pedestal flew past them and smashed into the wall. It was no secret their connection to the force became complicated during joined sexual activities. It was unpredictable and almost dangerous at times, but both loved it. The feeling of each other's pleasure far outweighed the risk. Not many people can say they've felt two orgasms all at once.

He bit down once more onto her flesh, breaking the skin. For a moment he felt worried that he hurt her, but hazy eyes and a loose smile told him otherwise. Sweat mingled with the traces of blood quickly and Kylo made quick work to lap it up. She took her hand from his back and roughly grabbed his jaw. Their lips met again, messy and wanting. Tongues met and molded together sharing their tastes. A heated sensation burned into her abdomen with fury and Kylo felt it too. It was only a matter of time now for the both of them.

Kylo tried to slow the process. He slowed down his pace and pulled himself back slightly. Runa's glare was an inferno and she impatiently swerved her hips and impaled herself on him harshly. His eyes shut and his teeth grit together feeling her clench so tightly onto him. There was no saving them now. The two erupted in a cry as their duel orgasm ripped apart and spread through them. They became stiff and were nearly blinded by the intensity. Usually Runa had let go by now, over stimulation threatened to ruin her. Yet, this time she stayed feeling everything he had. Her mind rushed and saw flashing images behind her eyes and swells of emotions that ripped at her heart. A faint call for her ringing in her ears. She choked out a whimper as it all ran through her like knives. Sweet, and savoring knives.

Then it quieted. All at once it became silent. Runa let go, drawing back her energy. With a gasp she became limp. She fell back into Kylo's arm, chest heaving with heavy breaths, and body still spasming and twitching slightly. She felt his lips on hers once again and the stars in her eyes began to fade/

"How was that for a celebration?" He said breathlessly.

"Pretty damned good I'd day."

He laughed shortly, "Good. I'd feel bad if I didn't meet your expectations."

"I don't think you'd ever need to worry about that." She smiled as she lay against the pillows. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her. They held there for a while, taking in the satisfaction of a simple lip lock.

"Let's go home." She murmured softly. Home. The first time she had said that in a long time. The first time she ever referred to his cruiser as home. Home. With him. Suddenly Kylo feels a peace he hadn't felt in nearly fifteen years.

Kylo smiled and caressed her cheek, "Not without those drinks."

Runa grinned, "Of course. Can't forget about those."

Neither of them got much sleep that night. There were laughs, drinking, and lots of love. The only night they had ever spent without worry. The first night they managed to completely forget about the First Order. The night they felt like a normal couple. Empty bottles and articles of clothing were scattered about the room. Lights were still off and inhibition still brewed. A pleasant rhythmic hum echoed in the room. Kylo listened to it happily as Runa remained wrapped in his arm. She lay her cheek on his chest and lightly traced her finger over moles that decorated his body.

"Netuya." She whispered before moving her finger elsewhere. "Meyla." She whispered again. "Keptu...Itlla...Bevres.." She continued to call out soft names as he lay against him. Kylo looked down to her, a brow arched.

"What are you doing?"

She stopped and gazed up to him with calm eyes, "Your body is a galaxy. I'm simply counting the stars."

Kylo didn't know how to take her explanation. It made his cheeks turn and off shade of red and his stomach flutter slightly. No one had referred to his moles in that sense before. In fact, now that he thinks about it, no has ever referred to them as anything. Not even in a life now lost. She was the first to bring attention to it and positive attention at that.

"Do you have a favorite?" He questioned suddenly.

She thought for moment before answering. "It's between Vur-" She pressed against a small brown mole on his face, not too far from his nose and hovering over his lip. "And Salu." She pressed to a dark mole drifting towards his lower abdomen. He jerked slightly when her finger pressed into him.

Runa giggled, "Are you ticklish?"

"No!" He answered quickly, way to quickly. A devilish smirk spread across her face and she quickly poked him again and again. He laughed, loudly, snorted even when she wouldn't let up. She began laughing too. He tried to tell her to stop, but laughter suppressed any pleas. He pulled her on top of him and connected their lips, and the laughter was silenced. They exhaled into the kiss and hummed.

"We should get going. General Hux will be holocommunicating us soon. And we certainly don't want General Hux to be upset." She said with puckered lips and moved her shoulders dramatically.

Kylo pressed his lips together and scoffed, "Don't say his name when I'm holding you like this."

"What's wrong? It kinda rolls off the tongue. Huuxxahh." She enunciated in detail.

"I'll give you something to roll off that tongue." He leaned upwards causing Runa to gasp. He pinned her down to the bed, her arms above her. He gave her the same treatment she gave him and then some. The two didn't leave the room for another hour.

It took Runa more time than she thought to put on the mask. She mostly just stared at it. A hollow shell that could entrap her face. It wasn't just a mask. It was a new life. She no longer feared it. She was painfully numb to it. She supposed that was the purpose. To numb her to things. She would need to tread there carefully. She did not want to be completely desensitized. That's how these things works. Masks, helmets, shrouds- all used to take away the person and leave the body. Runa  would not allow that to happen. Veeta Ren is a title not her name.

The two Knights entered the communications room, officers and troopers standing by. They saluted, taking themselves away from their stations. The two paid them no attention, seeking out the main control officer.

"Has the General made contact?" Runa inquired.

"Yes, but we were waiting until you two got here, Sir." The officer, Kern, explained.

"We're here now aren't we?" Runa rolled her shoulders nonchalantly. Officer Kern nodded and promptly opened the communication link.

"Patching him through now. General Hux also wishes to establish communications with the Supreme Leader."

"Then you'd best get on that." Kylo finally spoke up.

"Of course, Sir."

The holo flashed on and there was General Hux standing tall and proud, his lips still twisted into disdain. His eyes gleamed with annoyance and his nose crinkled.

"Ren and." He brought his hypercritical stare to Runa. He stared at her for a moment, scrutinizing her. She shot him a glare, but quickly remembered the mask covered it. That would take some getting used to. "The apprentice." He said finally.

"No longer an apprentice, General Hux." Kylo came to her defense. "Or are you truly oblivious?"

Runa held back a laugh  when Hux curled his lips downwards into a scowl. "Charming as ever." Was all he said to Kylo jab. "I can assume you have patched the Supreme Leader into our conversation?"

"He's connecting now." Kylo informed.

"Good. Saves me the trouble."

"Saves our ears from your whining as well." Runa chimed in with a hidden smirk. Kylo snickered and Hux boiled. Perhaps he would have entertained her comment if Snoke's holo had not joined his. The three bent the knee and bowed before his hologram. He looked displeased, irritated even. However, it was subtle.

"What's the purpose of this interruption?"

Hux was the first to rise. "Supreme Leader. I've received word that we have new intel on the map."

"What?!" Snoke's voice rose. The first time Runa had heard such a shift in his tone.

"The part we received from old Empire archives we have is incomplete after the destruction of the Death Star. Contacts claim they know where the other half is." Hux explained. This was the first time Runa was hearing this. A map to what? Whatever it was Snoke seemed on edge. A stark contrast to his stoicism.

"Who? Where is it?!" Snoke demanded.

Kylo cut Hux off from a response, "The map is to a place not a person. He may not even be there."

"A map to where?" Runa found her voice.

Snoke looked angry. "I see you have failed to inform Veeta Ren of any information of this." He was speaking to Kylo who hung his head in shame. Runa did not mean to bring Snoke's anger down to Kylo, but she was curious.

"The map is to the first Jedi temple. A map to Luke Skywalker." Snoke clarified.

Runa's eyes went wide and her jack slack. Kylo had told her of him, but insisted he was lost to time. That he must have died. However, according to Snoke's tone, he believed him to be alive.  

Hux cleared his throat, "The map is believed to be on Jakku. In the hands of on old explorer, Lor San Tekka." Kylo's head shot up at that name, a name he had known a life time ago. A name the shell of someone enjoyed hearing.

"How did you acquire this knowledge, General?" Snoke asked fuming.

"Informants in the Hosnian system. The fools ended up getting killed before they could transmit any more information." Hux's lips curled with disgust. "The last bit of information they transmitted was that the Resistance is aware of the map's location."

"What?!" Snoke slammed his fist onto the arm of his chair. "This changes much. Veeta Ren-" He called to her, suddenly regaining his composure.

"Yes Supreme Leader?"

"You are to report to me immediately. It's time I accelerated your practice as a Knight." A small pang of disappointment went through her, but she was forbidden to show it. Behind her mask, her eyes glanced to Kylo. She wished she could linger but she sensed Snoke would know then.

"As you wish, Supreme Leader." She bowed her head.

"As for you, Kylo Ren," He paused for a moment, his mouth slightly dipping into a scowl. "You are to report to the Finalizer and work with General Hux to retrieve the map. It is priority one. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Supreme Leader." Kylo answered monotonously. If Hux was displeased, he learned to hide it well. He showed nothing to them, just the familiar scowl that was etched permanently to his face.

"I'll notify you with haste when Ren boards." Hux nodded his head.

Snoke leaned back into his chair, calm once more. "Good. Now do what I've instructed. There is much preparation I must do." Snoke's holo then cut out without warning. He did not want to wait for the systematic farewells it seemed. Kylo suddenly charged out of the room without saying a word. Runa closed her eyes and frowned. With a wave of her hand communication with Hux was cut off. She did not want to hear any more of him. Turning on her heels she left the communication room trailing after Kylo.

She knew where he would go and she feared entering. He would go here when he needed to be alone. When he needed to clear his head. She had never bothered him in here before, but she wished to say goodbye before she departed for Snoke. Her hand hovered just above the door's surface, hesitating to knock.

"I know you're out there Runa. It's fine. Just come in." Kylo's voice rang through the door.

Her gaze shifted downwards, "I do not want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be. Come in."

She slumped her shoulders and gestured her hand for the door to open. She stepped in, the door nearly clipping her as it closed quickly. She saw him standing there, his arm stretched apart and gripping onto either side of the small table. His mask was off and rested in the pile of broken stones and ashes. The air was sullen and dry. Foreboding nature of what the two expected once when they went their separate paths.  Runa stood still until she was literally forced to move. Kylo gently pushed her forward without turning to her and she stumbled, tripping over her feet. She never liked when he did that, but the circumstances here where different.

With quiet steps she brought herself to him. A hand was placed on his shoulder and he was stiff. She silently begged he would look at. Pour his eyes into hers. Spill all his worries and all that hurt him-so she could fix it. Mend them to her best abilities. Hold him tight and tell him they'd be fine. Try to convince herself of her own words. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"I feel sick."

"Then I'll leave you-"

"No!" His voice rose and Runa drew her hand away. "Don't-" He was calm again, "Just stay. Please stay."

She nodded softly, "Alright." Her hand returned to his shoulder, he was softer now. He stayed quiet for some time, taking comfort from Runa's simple touch.

"I knew him once. The man with the map, Lor San Tekka." Kylo began to divulge. Runa spoke not a word, only listened. "He was an ally of Luke Skywalker. He wasn't force sensitive but he helped trained those young Jedi. Helped train Ben Solo." His shoulders rose and as he said that name. The name of a dead man. He gripped onto the table, old feelings resurfacing. Runa steadied him, sensing his distress. He said nothing more. He couldn't say anything more without the risk of the Light pulling at him again.

"Snoke is afraid of Luke Skywalker." She spoke now. "Should we-should that be a concern?"

Kylo turned around sharply. An overwhelming sensation of fool's determination fueled his words, "No. We're going to find him and I'll kill him. Kill him now that I'm stronger. I'll kill Lor San Tekka. I'll get that map. There will be no more hiding for him now. Once he's dead-it'll be over. We can be happy. We can be safe."

"Oh Ren..." She sighed and took his hands in hers. "I am happy, remember? I'm happy right now that I'm with you." His hands left hers and traveled to her mask. He removed it, looking into her eyes. She meant what she said and she was smiling. No more words were said between the two of the matter. Only lips pressed to lips and bodies brought together. He entered her quickly, both knowing they wouldn't have much time. His thrusts were slow and needing. The space between them was never great as the craved each other's closeness. Her legs wrapped around his waist and hands pressed against his chest, over the moles she had named. Lips roamed, biting and sucking as much skin as they could. A rapture shared between them as they continued their union. He was slow and he was deep and neither wanted to let go. Moans and pants soon bounced around the room. Bodies once again became entangled. Enclosed in a sweet embrace. In a passion that could last a lifetime.

Neither of them had that amount time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, yes they totally just had sex in front of the Darth Vader mask. Whoops, at least it wasn't graphic. 
> 
> I was going to upload this chapter yesterday, but life got in the way. But it's here now and its time Kylo and Runa spent some time apart :c
> 
> Thank you all for reading, it makes me so happy that people are enjoying this story.  
> Lots of love <333


	11. Chapter 11

Both of the Knights' minimal belongings had been gathered and brought to their respective shuttles. Neither needed much, packing was quick and done by their protocol droids. They droids gave them little time to spend together. It wasn't the time they wanted, but it was the time they needed. They wanted many things-different things even. Yet, both needed some time to say goodbye. They never knew they needed it until now. Until they stood across from one another. Their own shuttles on the opposite sides of the hanger. A small distance in reality, but a galaxy apart in mind.

Peering eyes did not deter their display of affection. Minor display of affection that is. His hands holding hers. A strong grip she had grown familiar with. A caress her skin craved for. A love that filled her heart. She was never one for dramatics. She felt silly about the theatrics between the two. They had simply grown too comfortable with the life they had together. A life both knew could never be simple, but they tried to treat it so.

They would see other again. All would be well. This wasn't a goodbye. Surely it wan't. Surely they would be brought together again. Or at least that what they silently told themselves.

"We'll stay in contact." He spoke somberly.

"Of course..."

"I'll message you on your datapad when I can."

"Yes."

"If you are in trouble-I'll sense it. I'll come for you-"

"Ren." She stopped him. She needed to stop him. He was forgetting Snoke's words. He mustn't forget them. Not if she wanted him to remain safe.

"The Stars would never be so cruel. To take me away from you. Never." She assured him, but Kylo knew they would show his type no mercy. They weren't keen on it in the past, why would they start now.

"Yes, you're right." He lied to himself not to her. "I promise to stay in touch." The truth. A truth for both of them.

"As do I."

It grew quiet then. Horribly quiet. Eyes peered into each others behind masks. Behind facades. The air was thick and heavy, weighing on the two crestfallen Knights. They wanted to say more-show more-but they couldn't. Not like this. All they could do was embrace. Embracing in a tight and trembling hold. They closed their eyes as the melted into each other. And for a moment there was only serenity. They would miss this the most. The feeling of the tranquility they made when it was just them. A gentle innocence both regained for a short time.

"Stay safe." A command, not a wish. She was telling him this. Demanding it from him.

"Always." He whispered gently into her ear. She swallowed her shaking breath and nuzzled into him.

They didn't know who pulled away first and it didn't matter. They said no more words. Words would only keep them drawn together. The space between them grew until they disappeared. Gone from each other's site and and flown into different space. Very different paths awaiting them. Paths neither were too sure about.

\---

The first thing she noticed when she arrived was it was cold. Freezing even. No doubt it was Snoke's work. His presence loomed over this place like a shroud of ice. A veil coated in gelid inhospitably. A fitting harbor for the malefic and ruinous Supreme Leader. She could feel him through the malevolence. He was aware of her as well. He was beckoning to her to come to him. She shuddered slightly, feeling him lightly probe at her mind. She felt the urge to push him away, but she knew she was compelled allow this intrusion.

He was whispering for her to see him immediately. To not keep him waiting. The message could have easily been relayed to her through many resources but he chose this one. This made the message-no the order-more personal more threatening. She understood loud and clear. He left suddenly and the poisonous company flood away.

She knew this wasn't going to be easy. Whatever Snoke had for her would not be easy. She held not fear in her body, but confidence. She had learned her lesson well. She could not fear what was to come if she planned to succeed. To fail now, after how far she's come, would be an insult. She did not wait for directions nor did she wait for her shuttle to be emptied. She merely followed the minacious stench she first sensed when she came to orbit.

She paid no attention to the guards at the door, moving past them with ease. Snoke had warned them of her coming. It was the only explanation for putting up no protest as she stepped through the door. They were stationed there to serve as protection, however little they would provide, they would not let any person enter.

She saw him sitting at the end of room. Much like before, much like how she'll always see him. Sitting, staring, and stoic. He looked down to her with a hint of condescension scratching at his lip. She bowed, but kept her eyes directly on him. She knew he could see them past the mask.

He looked directly back at her, not intimidated by Runa's eyes. To be fair, she had no intention of intimidation only to show a small gesture of confidence. Though she doubted Snoke cared about the difference.

"You and Kylo Ren are still intimate I see." He spoke coolly.

Runa's lip twitched slightly into neither a sneer nor a frown. "Indeed we are Supreme Leader. Does this fact put me in ill will?"

"No, though it is questionable that you have not yet produced offspring."

That made Runa feel sick. Horribly sick. The thought of a child being produced between them now was all but a tempting thought. It was never Kylo and Runa's intention to conceive a child only to love each other. Though she got the inclination that she should not tell Snoke that.

"I was unaware we should be trying to aim for reproduction." She studied Snoke's expression carefully. He seemed satisfied by her answer, thankfully.

"I do not wish for you to aim for that. Not yet. Not while you two are still untrained and unprepared. Such recklessness should be avoided and avoided it you have. Good, it shows you have control. Though your bond is strong. I can feel it even without having to search. Tell me, Veeta Ren, can you sense Kylo Ren now?"

Runa had not expected that question, but Snoke was waiting for her response. She didn't dare question how she should go about trying accomplish this. He was still waiting and if Runa had learned anything from Kylo it was not to keep anyone waiting. She let her eyes close. She focused on the image of him and on his voice. She waited to hear something, anything of his. But nothing came. Nothing but the impatience she felt from Snoke. Whatever she was doing, it wasn't working. She tried again, letting the force push through her. She held onto the feeling and images of him in her mind and expanded her thoughts. Then she let go, letting it all surge together until she saw nothing but the dark. Then she felt him and she almost called for him.

"He's.." She began. "He's with Hux. Talking-Talking about..that man's Lor San Tekk's location. I..." She felt a pain her chest tightening as she held onto him. It was searing and held her breath with sharpened claws in her throat. He was far. Too far for her to be holding on this long. She let go with a gasp and nearly completely fell to the floor.

"Good." He congratulated flatly. "Your abilities are evolving. With time I can teach you to sense any one in the galaxy." He informed her.

"Is that truly possible?" She choked out. Kylo had told of sensing individuals in the force if their bond was strong enough. She thought it would need to take years for the process to happen.

"For you, Veeta Ren, it is very possible." His tone was impossible to read and she would never dare to enter his mind and examine his methods. Not if she valued her life.

Then she felt it. A return call if you will. Kylo was reaching out to her or trying to anyway. Apparently Snoke noticed as well, "It would appear Kylo Ren felt your presence. What is your course of action?" Runa grit her teeth. Damn. Snoke knew this would happen. He knew Kylo would sense Runa's invasion and attempt to contact her. Everything in her wanted to accept him, to let him in and feel him again. But she was far wiser than that.

"I came here not to dwell on Kylo Ren, but to do your bidding. To receive the blessings of your training." It almost hurt her to say that. She wasn't renouncing Kylo, but she was denying him. Something she had never done. Something she would most likely need to get used to doing.

Snoke seemed pleased very pleased. He almost smirked down at her, but the scars that mangled his face made it unclear if he actually was or not. He didn't need to tell her what to do next. She closed herself off, forcibly pushing him away. She felt him put up some sort of resistance, which caused her chest to turn, but she kept up until he was no longer there.

"Very good." Snoke encouraged. "Mystics are quite skilled with their minds. You should not encounter much trouble in training."

"Under your guidance I am sure to succeed." An empty compliment.

Snoke hummed, "Since you seem rather eager. We shall begin now." He waved his hand and a swell of armored droids entered the room. Her first reaction was to unsheathe her lightsaber and stand on guard. Snoke eyed her saber and a pleasant hum roamed in his dry throat.

Runa did not wait for the droids to attack first, she rushed at them whipping her saber at them in fever. She force pushed a few into the wall, separating their formation. Disheveled, they were completely open to her attack. She lunged to them as if she were a hungry nexu. They were cut down without the chance of putting up a fight.  

Their parts separated, clanging against the floor. She couldn't help but carve out a smirk, but she couldn't relish in it. She spun around on her heel, grabbing the arm of an attacking droid. She brought her lightsaber under its arm and sliced upwards. It actually cried out in pain as she cut away its arm. She almost paused upon hearing its electronic scream. She must be hearing things. Droids cannot feel pain. She dropped its severed arm and clenched her hand, crushing the droid's body with the force. Adrenaline was flowing now and her heart beat against the cage that was her chest. She swore it would have leapt out of her chest if she had not been wearing clothes.

With a motion of Snoke's hand the remaining droids switched to projectile attacks. She held the hilt of her saber in both hands as she deflected their blaster fire. She angled the weapon as best she could to precisely direct the shots back at those who fired upon her. They drove her back until she was almost against the wall. She tried to push forward but one shot grazed her arm. She hissed in a breath and fought of the urge to check on her wound.

Her brow knit together and she growled through grit teeth. She threw her saber at them, using the force to guide its path. It slashed and shred through them with easy. She caught the saber in hand once it made its way to her. They were beneath her now, broken and defeated. She turned towards Snoke to be met with half of an approval.

"You are not as reckless as your former Master." Was what he said first. Not a compliment, but not a complaint either. "Close quarter combat seems to be fruitful. However, your kind is sparse and we must now be met with weapons of filth." A fancy way of saying she would be met with more blaster fire than melee.  

"What must I do?" She questioned with stillness.

"Listen to me and become strong." He responded smoothly and leaned back into his chair. More droids wielding blasters appeared and Runa whipped around to face them. The droids were stiff as Snoke held up his hand, "Be still Veeta Ren." She did as he commanded, relaxing her shoulders. "That wound on your arm." His eyes were drawn to it. "Grip onto it."

Runa looked over her shoulder in confusion. She remember Kylo had taught her to use the pain of her wounds to her advantage, but the pain had subsided now.

"Listen to me and become strong." He repeated. Runa slowly nodded her head and brought her hand over her grazed skin. She held onto it and groaned slightly.

"If you plan on tossing your lightsaber so casually you must be prepared to protect yourself from incoming blast fire." He informed as she still held onto her burning arm. "Harder." He commanded. She dug her nails into the burned skin and nearly let out a cry as pain shot through like hot durasteel.

"Focus that pain in the front when they fire at you. You must control it until then." He instructed coldly. She mumbled out an 'alright' and waited. And did Snoke make her wait. He watched for a bit, watched her shake in pain as she caused her wound to bleed. Without warning the droids opened fire all at once. Runa's eyes went wide and she quickly released the pain in her arm. Blaster fire soon shot back in all different directions and then the droids stilled again. She turned her head to meet Snoke's gaze. It was stone and subject to misinterpretation. Runa wouldn't have to wait long for clarification.

"An acceptable job." His voice was hoarse, stuck in his throat. "I shall teach you how to deflect it orderly." Suddenly the droids fired again and Runa shot out a pulse sending the fire out and away just like before. Confusion was felt next. Then it hit her. She had deflected the shots the same both with and without the pain. The pain he made her self inflict was indeed necessary for this outcome, but was instead a sort of minor punishment for behaving so recklessly in his presence. It made her stomach churn knowing he took satisfaction in seeing her suffer. The second wave of shots were to remind her of that. When you're reckless you get injured and you have to deal with that pain whilst in the fight.

"Begin again." He said summoning even more droids. She listened and followed his command carefully.

Over and over again she did this. She felt a sense of familiarity during the repeating process. Kylo had always made her repeat exercises until he deemed them perfect. Although, unlike Snoke, he never punished her. It would take only one time for Runa to learn how Snoke operates. Merciless, uncaring, and downright callus. He did not take things slow, forcing Runa to adapt with haste. Luckily being force sensitive helped with that. She truly pitied any person training under Snoke who was not force sensitive. Snoke may consider them weak, but he could not deny the fact there were now more of them than there were force users.

Again and again he commanded for her fight until she was absolutely worn down. He not only tested her body, but her mind as well. She had never been this exhausted in the entirety of her training with Kylo compared to the hours or however long she had spent in this room. Her chest heaved quickly, too quickly for her lungs to hold in any air. She only remained on her feet by the sheer intimidation that radiated off Snoke. Her hands were blistered and shaking as she held onto the hilt of her lightsaber.

Countless numbers of destroyed and mangled droids covered the floor. The ones met with a lightsaber were the lucky ones. They met a swift end. The ones experimented on by the ways of the force were twisted and maimed. The fate of these droids chilled Runa and disturbed her as she was the one who had done this to them. The way the poor things writhed in stimulated agony was one of the worst things Runa had ever witnessed and the worst thing she had ever done. She did not know how Snoke had managed to achieve this level of technology but he only used it corrupt and destroy. Ironic to criticize Snoke for his cruel methods when she was the ones who carried out the deed. She put up no protest as well. Just went along with it all. Watching them, hearing them beg. They were not human. They had no life to lose. But still they begged for life.

 _Please don't. Please stop. It hurts._ How could a droid hurt? Why would one create an artificial intelligence that could feel pain? It defeats the purpose of their usefulness. No, that's how they were useful. Useful to torture. It was sickening absolutely sickening. And she went along with it. Never questioning. Still not questioning.

"You've done well." Snoke observed.

"Thank you, Supreme Leader." She managed to say clearly. Her gaze was brought to a droid that was functioning or still alive. Barely though, it was twitching and making strange electronic gurgling noises. She ripped her gaze away which did not go unnoticed by Snoke.

"You have questions about the droids." He didn't need to pry into her mind to figure that out.

"I must admit that I am curious." She tried to word properly.

"Fascinating design really. I cannot have you using our troops as material, but simple droids would not work either. You need realism. That is why I had these designed. They have programmed nerve sensitivity. They feel like a life form and are in grand supply."

Runa thought she would be ill right then and there. Droids with nerve sensitivity. They may only be droids, but they still had minds just like people. Minds that were created only to be destroyed in training. This was all a horrific science experiment. Every rational being in her body wanted to tell her this wasn't real. That she was going to wake up and restart her training. Had Kylo known of these?

"Clean yourself." He changed the subject. "I will summon you again. You will not speak of your training to anyone, understood?" Not only had he worn out her body and mind, he now just severed her support line.

"Yes, Supreme Leader." She knew that by 'anyone' he was speaking mainly about Kylo. He slowly pulling them apart. Runa was painfully aware of this. She was a fool to believe her relationship could carry on how it had been.

\---

Runa leaned her back against the wall, her legs stretched out with hands placed between them. Her sullen gaze saw nothing of her current surroundings, replaying the events that transpired over and over. An empty hollow expression entrapped her as she remain deep in thought. To say she felt lonely was an understatement. Her body was desolate and forsaken. An outcast in an environment so foreign to her. Forbidden to speak to even herself. Her gaze happened upon her mask resting besides her. She took it in her hands, leveling its eyes with hers. She stared at it for sometime expecting it to blink back at her or offer words of wisdom. How desperate she's become pleading for a mask's comfort. As she pressed her forehead against the cool service she wished she could melt into it. Become immune to this world's hardships and abandon her weakness. Her hands shook and tightened their grip so hard she thought for sure it would crack.

But it did not crack. It remained strong and steady, refusing to crumple in her hands. A bittersweet opposite for herself.

Runa could not help but feel her treatment was punishment. It was almost cruel cutting her off from speaking to anyone of her training for the time being knowing full well she needed that solace. This was conditioning her to release that. To release her reliance of Kylo Ren. A peculiar punishment for her bond with Kylo was what this was.

She knew it. She was sure of it. It was clear to her now that Kylo had sheltered her from much. She hated it. She hated this. Snoke had given them permission to love. Just the fact they needed permission was enough to generate hate. But now he slowly was creating a rift between them. What she hated the most was how this was all getting to her. This was all just a big test. A test to see if she could crack and run to Kylo for help. She wanted to, oh how badly she wanted to. The weight of this place was daunting and grim. It felt sick here, a comfortless death. It never felt like this with Kylo. With him it was always warm. She desperately wanted to go home.

But she wouldn't do that. Not now, this was a test after all. There has never been a test she hasn't passed yet. This would not be the exception. She rose from the toilet and flushed its contents away. She gargled water to rid her throat of distaste. She dropped to the bed in front of her. Her eyes lined up perfectly with the datapad she had been avoiding since she had gotten here. She could tell there were messages on it. Messages from Kylo. He said he would contact her and he did. Shaking fingers gently ran over its smooth surface. She didn't feel Snoke but she was paranoid. Slowly, she opened the messages. There were a number of them.

_I felt you. Why? What's happened?_

Snoke had made her do that. Nothing was wrong, but how could he have known.

_You pushed me out, pushed me away. Was it an accident?_

No. No it wasn't. She meant to reach out to him. Meant to push him away.

_You're not hurt are you?_

She wasn't sure anymore.

_I'm over reacting. I'll stop bothering you with this now._

He was not bothering her.

_I love and miss you._

That was the last one he sent. Not too long ago either. She whimpered and read those words over and over again. It was a small comfort to her, made her stomach steady. She may have been prohibited from sharing information of her training, but nothing was said regarding sending messages. She would, however, not test Snoke's boundaries. One simple message was all she needed. One thing to put Kylo's mind as well as hers at rest. She hesitantly typed back to him quietly as if Snoke was in the room with her.

_I promise I'm alright. I love and miss you too. -Runa._

She shut off the datapad, not wanting to wait and see if he would reply. She shut her eyes and brought it to her chest. She liked to pretend she was holding him like how she did back home as she fell asleep. It made her smile-made her happy. She was indeed a fool for believing her and Kylo could stay where they were. They weren't normal people. They were Knights. Knights bound to serve a Master.

But who says they cannot serve together?

\---

The night was long and restless. When awake doubt caught up to her and she thought of sneaking away. When asleep she dreamt of sneaking away. Dreams offered no solace and only gave her whispers and chants telling her to run. Voices that were not wholly hers. They were loud and Runa covered her ears as she attempted to sleep. It would be easy for her leave. To go to Ren and convince him to leave with her. Whispers told her he would agree. _Run. Go. It'd be easy._ All those words chanted in rhythm with the whispering. Dreams showed her killing and destroying innocents. _Is this really what you want?_

Eyes like brimstone and face that was once hers appeared to her. Skin decorated by atrocious scars and snarling burns. Veins protruded to the service of her now bleached skin and sockets were a dark purple. _This is what you'll become._  More visions came then. Horrible odious visions. There was fire, she could feel the heat from the flames on her skin and began to sweat. Then it was cold and the sweat on her body froze. She shivered and curled herself up all the while the chanting got louder and the visions more vivid.

The pain she saw inflicted sharpened against her body. It was like before her training with Kylo. She felt their deaths and when they screamed her throat actually burned. Though she was now helpless to stop it. Whispers claimed this was what would be if she continued her path as a Knight.

Runa had never put faith in visions. Even now. Those who held value in visions of the future were fools who feared the unknown. Runa was not one of these individuals. No vision could tell how her life would play out. Only she could do that. Her actions, her desires were what made her future.

After her time on that red planet. After triumphing over her fear. Runa would be damned if she would be chased out now. She would not run from false visions and worthless warnings.

The door opened and her eyes went wide. Springing up from her bed her eyes were met with an officer whose eyes were as equally wide as hers. He looked almost surprised to see her with his eyes stretched and mouth pulled together tightly. In his hands was a blaster rifle.

She scowled and shot her hand forward. The officer flew back against the door and his rifle fell from his hands. Runa pulled it towards her and aimed it at him as she held him in place.

"Explain yourself!" She demanded.

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he tried to form an explanation. He choked and gurgled with panic flashing in his eyes. "I'm-here to-gack-to tell you that-Sup-reme Leader wi-shes to-...talk." He gasped out that last word, his face a burning red.

"I see." She released him and he fell to the floor with a large inhale. He had his hand gently placed on his throat as he panted for air.  Casually, she let the rifle slip out of her hand as she walked past him. Bringing a rifle into the room of a sleeping Knight was one of the most absent minded things a person can do or the bravest if one had ordered him to do it.

\---

She entered Snoke's chamber and once more the guards let her slip by. This was beginning to appear like a perfect repeat from her last visit here. Sitting in his chair enveloped in stoicism and intimidation, his brow rose slightly as he gazed down to her.

"You've arrived." He said this as if he almost hadn't expected her to show.

Strange. He had summoned for her had he not? "Were you not expecting me, Supreme Leader."

"You would not have been the first to abandon training." Runa was beginning to understand now. And frankly she felt insulted. If Snoke had not expected her to withstand training then why would he deem her worthy of the title of Knight.

"I sense your anger, Veeta Ren." He brought her away from her thoughts.

"Forgive me Supreme Leader, but I did not come this far only to run."

"No, it would appear you haven't. Do not mistake my methods for doubts. I would not have named you if I did not believe I couldn't mold you into my image."

It was challenging to accept that considering all he's done to her. Torturous training, visions, and not to mention the isolation she felt. She had been correct about this all being a test. Those visions and whispers had been from Snoke. Trying to tempt her away from him and all he offered. Runa would never allow this. She couldn't allow this. It would all have been for nothing then.

"You must understand Veeta Ren. Kylo Ren's training is informal."

"He taught me how to fight. Let me prove myself." She defended him.

A hand rose silencing her. "You already have, Veeta Ren. You standing before me now proves that. Kylo Ren is still not completely trained but I see he has done well with you. I will finish what he started in due time."

"In due time?"

He stood up then and Runa stiffened. He stepped down to her level, his back was hunched and lopsided. If his posture had been straight he would have towered over her. His body was lithe and the robs the wore were much too large. His limbs were long, almost inhumanly so. He visibly struggled to stand, but it made him no less intimidating.

"This news of Skywalker is troubling. Very troubling Veeta Ren. There has been a shift in the force no doubt related to the surfacing information of him. Though your combat skills need improvement, I have plenty of Knights fit enough to fight."

"Then why..?" She struggled to form a coherent sentence. The largest part of her training the other day had consisted of using her lightsaber.

"Don't be foolish girl," his tone turned threatening, "I cannot have an unequipped child harboring a weapon as dangerous as a lightsaber."

"Then..." a paused came, "Then if that is not required of me, what purpose do I serve? Tell me Supreme Leader and I will be forever yours to bid." She chose her words carefully, trying to appease him.

It seemed to work as he relaxed, the flash in his eyes now gone. It would appear he does not take well to those who question his methods. Runa would be sure to remember that for the entirety of her lifetime. His hand rose slowly, impossibly slow like it was getting caught on the air that surrounded them. She was frozen, petrified as one long skeletal finger hovered just above the metal surface of her mask. She desperately wanted slap the wretched thing from her and flee. But her own will forbid her from doing so.

"The mind is a powerful weapon. Your mind-" he corrected himself, "is a powerful weapon. With my help your mind will be able to reach out to distant galaxies and attach to any person with minimal limitations."

Her mouth opened, but words failed to speak from it. All she managed was dry choke that was nearly inaudible. She didn't know how she would be able to sense a person she has no attachment to let alone a person she has never meant.

"A link however small must be established even a name will do, which fortunately we have." He spoke again.

Grey eyes went wide and a mouth went agape. His words were beginning to register now. His point of interest in her was indeed not her combat abilities, but her mental capacity in the force. Snoke was going to try, no he was definitely going to use her to establish a link between her and Luke Skywalker. How this was possible was unknown to her, but Snoke seemed confident it would work. His emaciated hands rose to either side of her head. A war began in her mind. One side fighting to flee and another fighting to stay. The side fighting to stay would clearly emerge the victor as she put up no protest when she felt him invade her mind once more. She told herself what she had told him. She did not come this far only to run. 

It was not clear however, what came next. The images or the pain. Whichever it was, they were both horrible and unbearable. Fingernails dug into her mind, ripping it apart and forcing information into it. There was a natural resistance her mind put up at the foreign invasion, but it only worsened the process. Invisible hands mangled and tore down her defenses creating a torrid agony rippling through her entire body.

 _It will take time to settle,_ she heard him speak.

 _Once it does your mind will-_ was the the last thing she heard from him as foreign images of places and people unknown played before her. A young man with familiar bright blue eyes standing on a barren planet a boy next him him. A boy she did not recognize. Then they were gone and only the man remained. An old and broken man who knew betrayal as a friend. A man betrayed a grisly and hideous betrayal.

Her eyes wanted to shut wanted to see no more of this man but they remained pulled open by hooked claws. Eyes subjugated to the man who experienced multiple wars and uncountable deaths. Lonesome and forgotten he was now, standing over the unmarked graves of those who had died of those he felt he had killed.

Her mind snapped once again causing her to cry out. Whether her cry was reality or fabricated was unknown to her. Real blood however, drained from her nose. It's rustic taste running to her lip. Her thoughts-no, not her thoughts, yet not his either twisted and tangled together. Fighting for dominance and control over her mind.

Claws tried to contain them, but there was so much now. Too much for her to remain sane. One final snap caused everything to hush. Her sight, her hearing were gone now. She couldn't fully determine if she had collapsed or if she remained standing. Odds were she had fallen. She was weak now, the weakest she had ever felt. A fragment of death swelled around her and she no longer felt anything.

Forgotten words were erased from her mind as she faded,

_Your mind will be mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun..!
> 
> As always I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you all so much for reading and the kudos!  
> Lots of love! <33


	12. Chapter 12

Kylo had checked his datapad numerous times. Even as he first boarded his shuttle. He contemplated sending a message of good luck then, but decided against it. Luck had never gotten anybody anywhere. It wall about skill and Runa had that. She would fine.  When he came to Snoke his lightsaber training had not been completed considering his age at the time. He preferred the force as a weapon, but he had an ancestral advantage. He offered everything he knew to Runa, but he could not clone his abilities and give them to her. She needed to learn on her own and Kylo was proud of her. He was sure she would have no troubles.

That is until he felt her briefly connecting to him as Hux programmed the coordinates to that old man's hut into his shuttle. It came as surprise. Pleasant at first, but it quickly soured when she rejected his it stung. He didn't feel right. His mind jumped to the worst. Her shuttle was crashing and she was thinking of him before she would die. He was petrified at the time, desperate to reach out to her. But his mind was met with nothing. A well placed mask had kept his worry hidden. He was always so easy to read without it on.

He messaged her immediately after his discussion with Hux had concluded. Constantly checking to see when she would reply. That soon turned into an if she would reply. He calmed himself, thankfully, and was able to interpret the situation clearly. Or more so his situation. If she were in serious danger, if she had died, he would have felt it. She was training with Snoke. Perhaps he had something to do with it? Who was he kidding, of course Snoke had something to do with it. She was safe. His emotional wreckage concerned him though.

The realization hit him hard. All that time ago when he told himself having an apprentice would help him refuse the light. It had worked. When he was with Runa there was rarely that pull. It was docile and at rest. Now, though, he felt more on edge. He cursed at himself. He had grown too familiar with what they had. Not good. Not good at all.

Suddenly, after that, the urge to destroy Lor San Tekka grew. He was a bothersome link to life that was now foreign to him. Kill that man and take away a piece of the light. He wanted desperately to purge it all at once, but he couldn't. It wasn't in his power to do that. For the time being he would need to settle with killing an old hermit who had something he wanted. Then everything or everyone rather would fall into place.

He sent her one last message before he departed for his target. _I love and miss you._ He thought he should say more, but he also knew he shouldn't. He had a task that needed to be fulfilled and an old man that needed destroying.

Jakku should be the first planet obliterated by the Starkiller Base. It was nothing but a starship graveyard. There was no purpose for the planet. No one would miss it. Considering this, there's not a chance the Starkiller Base would destroy it. No one would miss a decaying planet. Kylo certainly wouldn't. He had already gotten half of what he wanted. Lor San Tekka was dead and by his hand. He felt a certain relief when he cut the old fool down. One less thing to be worried about. A step further away from the light and closer to the dark that Kylo so desperately craved for.

The destruction of the village was not necessary. The intention was to destroy any last remnants of that old man. He felt a small tug of regret in his mind as the villagers were killed, but the high he felt from killing Tekka had hushed the whispering ghost. The death of Lor San Tekka was also not needed, but Snoke and himself would not tolerate mercy given. He was old and his life was meaningless anyway. He didn't even have the map when Kylo arrived. The man must of thought himself clever by sending it away. Foolish to think Kylo couldn't take whatever he wants.

The one who the now dead fool entrusted information to was in his clutches. He ordered for the man to be beaten, healed, and then beaten again. He gave no restrictions as to how the information surfaced. Do what was needed to find out where the map had gone. A few broken limbs and cracked ribs mattered not.

While he waited impatiently for the prisoner to crack he brought his attention back to his datapad. He had turned it off before leaving for Jakku, but now it was on again. He chewed the inside of his cheek and kicked his leg slightly. It was face down on the counter, it light from the screen peeking out and illuminating the dull surface. It was a race almost. To see if he or the prisoner would crack first.

Kylo had reached the finish line.

He levitated the datapad into his hand and saw there was one message that had been sent. His chest tightened and he opened it. His scanned over it took quickly for him to comprehend what had been sent. He stopped and attempted to calm himself. He focused his dark eyes and read the message slowly, like he was first learning to read.

_I promise I'm alright. I love and miss you too. -Runa._

The cramp in his chest unwound and he exhaled. Two sentences and a handful of words was all he needed to purge the anxiety from his body. He could hear her voice saying these words clearly. Just as clear as if she were right next to him telling him this. She was safe. He could let go of that now. He needed to let go of it now. He had done a lot of thinking waiting for the prisoner to crack. Snoke's warning was among his thoughts. As much as Kylo wanted to talk to her he knew Snoke would not be so keen on the idea. He knew they had spent much time together, past the amount of a master and apprentice.

Snoke would never let them forget that he allowed their relationship. Neither would Kylo. He was forever grateful Snoke had allowed them to love. Though there was anger and there was frustration. He'd take it out, flush it away on the prisoner who seems to be resisting interrogation.

Amateurs.

The datapad switched off then and Kylo hid it away and thought no more of Runa while he interrogated the prisoner. The best pilot in the resistance it would seem. What an honor. No really it was. The honor of breaking the best pilot in the resistance that is. Such an honor considering he managed to escape from one of the most secure ships the First Order had, escaped with a stormtrooper no less. Also an honor knowing they struggled to detach a cable and still were not shot down.

Truly it was a fantastic development in all of this. He was promised the best the First Order had to offer. If the best couldn't hit the broadside of a stationary TIE fighter then Kylo didn't want to see the First Order's worst. He had never enjoyed the company of stormtroopers or the company of anyone for that matter.  General Hux was adamant that his troops were the elite and that a squadron would retrieve the droid and traitor. Types like General Hux were equally as exasperating if not more than troopers. Fanatics who were too caught up in pointless political banter. Prestigious arrogance that was easily mistaken for courage. Far too confident in themselves and their troops.

Emphasis on overconfident. The absolute best part was how General Hux's squadron could not capture the droid and allowed it to escape on a freighter. A real piece of junk from what he'd heard. Hearing this news angered Kylo greatly. Anger swelled in him like a fire with no hope of an extinguish. He destroyed a control panel while blinded by rage. He felt no guilt over it though. It's what they deserved, overestimating themselves like that. Perhaps it would teach them a lesson.

The droid and traitor were assisted by a girl, a scavenger. The traitor was gaining help. Sure the girl was only a scavenger, but how long before the resistance gets involved. Kylo had never trusted troopers to get anything done, but apparently Snoke thought otherwise.

Regardless, the situation had only increased his dislike for troopers and officers. So much for that advanced programming training General Hux had boasted about. As well as the superior marksmen training. Those could all be thrown into the trash compactor now. It was true this had been the first time a trooper had defected, but the last thing needed was a trendsetter walking around. The captain of the troops, Phasma, was quick to reinstate her troops to conditioning. She was more tolerable than the General. Less of a condescending attitude and, more importantly, quiet.

Still, being forced to work with them was rather irritating. It had always been easier to work by himself or with Runa. Damn he was thinking about her again. He needed to stop doing that. As nice as it was for his thoughts to drift to her, he had more important tasks at hand. Besides, neither had made the attempt to contact each other in some time. He had felt something earlier. He wasn't sure what exactly it was, but there was definitely something there. He would be lying if he thought he had not felt worry. An even greater lie to say he not tried to determine what had happened.

Yet, when he tried to gather information, he was met by a massive blockade. Strong and impenetrable. Stronger than the first one he encountered. He grew more worried, fearful even. His gut had a sick feeling, but he chalked it up to nothing. He had already greatly overreacted earlier, a second time was not needed. He had felt nothing since then, just seemingly eternal silence. Although, Kylo was unsure if he should be relieved by that.

It didn't matter now. It couldn't matter now. He had just received word that he and General Hux were to report to Snoke with haste. Information regarding the droid perhaps. If the Stars were feeling generous it would be good information. The Stars were never generous with the likes of Kylo.

Fingers would be pressed to temples, messaging a headache, if his mask had not remained. If someone were to tell Kylo of the events that transpired when he first arrived he probably would have killed them. Call them foolish. But now, he would probably have thanked them. Maybe.

Needless to say, this is not how he thought his days would go.

\---

The first dream was of a sparking inferno. Monstrous swell of reds, oranges, and yellows dancing in a sympathy in the eyes of an onlooker. A firestorm so wild the flames would forever stain the turf with its smoldered residue. Yet, there was no sound. It was always quiet as the flames committed conflagration. No sound of gluttonous blaze dominating and consuming all in its wake. There was only grief. Not for the flames, but for what lay beneath it. All lives lost leaving only the man behind.

The second was of somewhere wet and bitter. Harsh winds that howled and screeched with anger. No flat land to stand upon, only ridges and cliffs. Solitude was comfort here. A voice speaking only to those who could not answer back with sound. A voice missing for long years. A voice thought to not exist by many. A voice hidden within itself. Never ready to be truly heard again.

The third was the most pleasant. There were familiar feelings and a familiar face. A face already missed deeply. Translucent skin, heavy set eyes, and dark hair. A stark but blissful contrast of black and white. His voice would deep and electric. Sending vibrations through a bare body. A body bare only to him and a warmth only he could give it. But then he was gone, leaving the skin cold.

A fourth dream came then. A dream not remembered. Forcibly forgotten and misplaced. Faint traces of failed dominance and broken control resided dully in the corners of a waking conscious. Gone completely now as eyes broke from their rest. Eyes now met with a masked face.

"Ren..?" A soft yet cracked voice spoke believing to still be dreaming.

"Try again." Unfamiliar was this voice. Feminine too. Definitely not Kylo Ren.  A hand reached out, ungloved and slender. That's when she rose, jerking herself completely awake. Runa defensively snatched the hand in hers, keeping it away from her. It was ripped away suddenly and aggressively. "Jeez, still just as touchy aren't we?"

They spoke as if they recognized her. It wasn't mutual. Runa peered up at the masked individual standing near where she lay. Correction. Runa did recognize this person. It was the woman from all that time ago. She had never spoken when Runa first saw her. The only recognizable feature about her was the mask she wore.

A sight once frightening now turned into familiarity. The only distinguishing feature of the woman she had met what seemed like an entire life ago.

"You," Her mouth was dry causing it crack and burst into a coughing fit. The woman held out a cup of water to her, almost begrudgingly like she was disgusted or annoyed.

Runa still took the water though. It was cold, colder than she expected. If she wasn't awake before, she surely was now. She took it all in one gulp and exhaled a now crisp breath of air.

"You're a Knight of Ren. Like me." Runa was unsure why she added that end. Possible confirmation she was indeed not dreaming all of this.

"Did the mask give it away?" There was spite in her voice. Venomous and vitriolic. The amusing thing was that it was indeed the mask that gave her away. Not much else to go off unfortunately. "I am called Te'na Ren." So that was this woman's name. Or title. Runa was unsure. "I'm told you go by Veeta Ren now."

"Yes. That's right." She said as if Te'na had asked her. A scoff came from behind Te'na's mask, but she said nothing. "How long was I asleep?" Runa questioned wanting the subject to change.

"A while." A cryptic but simplistic answer. Runa guessed it didn't matter too much is she didn't bother giving specifics.

"Here." Clothes were tossed her way, landing in her lap. Te'na turned around giving Runa privacy. "You know you mumble in your sleep?" Te'na pointed out. Runa wanted to laugh at that. Yet it also raised the question for just how long Te'na had been watching over her.

"Why were you watching me?" Runa questioned as finished assembling her belt.

"I was waiting for you to wake up. Was that not obvious enough for you?" She snapped.

"Could you perhaps elaborate?"

"I was told to by Snoke-" Runa made note of her disregard for Snoke's proper title. "He's sending us to Devuha to track a Resistance base."

This was surprising and curious information. The last Runa recalled was having a horrible headache and questioning whether or not she was going to pass out or not. Clearly she had lost consciousness. Though she assumed she would return to Snoke for further training. However it would seem this was more important. Perhaps that is why she was being sent with Te'na. Te'na may be backup or perhaps Runa was the back up?

Whatever the case was, tracking a Resistance base was an odd request. Bases were usually close knit and stayed within the New Republic territory. Sickening how they must hide behind a corrupt and flawed society that was the New Republic.

Where they finally beginning to stand on their own legs? Seemed highly unlikely. "How did we come across a base on Devuha?"

"A distress signal picked up by our scanners." She seemed annoyed by Runa's question. Could she really not see the need for confusion?

"They would never be so reckless." Runa mumbled lowly to herself, but Te'na clearly heard.

"The Resistance is nothing but ignorant back-watered slime. They've never had the brains to combat us." Te'na seemed so sure of herself. It remains to be seen if she too overconfident. Runa put up no protest. She agreed they were not nearly as prepared as the First Order nor were they as intellectual. Yet, she still had her suspicions.

She was given no time to think on them, however, as Te'na carelessly shoved Runa's mask into her abdomen. Runa stopped her lips from curling into a scowl and took it into her hands. She could not don the mask just yet, not with her hair so loosely flowing.

"Nice mask." Te'na spoke up as Runa braided her hair up. "Did Kylo make it for you?" Her tone was bitter and sharp.

"What-?"

"Oh don't act so stupid or maybe you aren't acting but the point is I know about you two. We all do in fact. All the Knights."

"Alright." Was all Runa said, not caring too much about the subject of her and Kylo's relationship.  

"You seem rather passive about it." Te'na practically grumbled. Had she expected a greater reaction out of Runa?

"Were you expecting me to be appalled?" Runa asked nonchalantly.

She mumbled some obscenities mixed with poisoned words under her breath. Runa did not care enough to decode them.

"Just don't expect me to treat you as if you're in some sort of hierarchy." She spat.

"Supreme Leader Snoke determines who leads the Knights, there is no other way." She finished securing her braid.

"At least you aren't brain dead and understand that. Because some us were-"

Runa cut her off. "It seems your priorities are to gossip about Ren and my relationship. I didn't know it was so important for you to gossip about him. An interesting thing to prioritize over whatever is the Supreme Leader has you do."  

Te'na grabbed Runa's shoulder roughly forcing her to look at her. Her grip was strong and conveyed any emotion her hidden face may show.

"Listen here you Kriff. I'll have you know I couldn't care less about whatever relationship you two have. I'm not even interested in what you're suggesting anyway. So don't worry about your little boyfriend" She seethed and let go of Runa with a forceful push.

"Not interested in gossip?" Runa rolled her shoulder to release the tension.

"In men." Te'na deadpanned flatly.

"Oh. I see." That was not what Runa was insinuating at all. Runa had never worried about jealousy, but Te'na thought that was what Runa was accusing her of. Before Runa could explain that, Te'na had already started running her mouth.

"And don't you go start to flatter yourself either. I'm not interested in humans all together." Te'na followed up quickly.

Again, that notion had never crossed Runa's mind. Runa wasn't going to bother with an explanation now, considering Te'na deemed it absolutely necessary to clarify that. Though it was interesting to say the least to hear someone say there were attracted to members of a different species. Though Runa did not dwell on that.

"Fine be me," she took her helmet in her hands, "But to be fair you brought it up first." Her smirk was unintentionally wild. She knew not why it gave her satisfaction to say that, but by Stars did she feel very satisfied.

Te'na was shaking with anger once again. Hands clenched in fists and mumbling strings of profanity. She would indeed be a wonder to work with. Of all the Knights they could have sent Runa it had to be the one with the worst attitude.

"I despise you already." Te'na scoffed.

"Shame. I believe I provide good company." Runa replied dryly while putting on her mask.

Te'na spit out a cynical and snide laugh, "Oh I bet you do, Mistress Ren."

Now it was Runa who was angered. Let it go something told her. She listened. She didn't have time for it anyway. Snoke said they had to do something so it would be best to get on with it. Runa could put with ill temperament for the time being.

"I assume a shuttle is standing by for us." Runa spoke, changing the subject once more.

"Yes, now that you're done pampering your hair we can go." Was there no escape from this woman's critical comments? She rolled her covered eyes and stepped past Te'na, who made no effort to move out of the way. "Just so you know," Te'na spoke up much to Runa's annoyance, "You're not the first Knight to start a relationship, but it was foolish of you for to do so." Then she pushed past Runa with a harsh shove.

Runa stayed where she was for a moment while she reflected on Te'na's words. Out of all the things Te'na had said in their small time of meeting those words were the only ones to cut past her defenses and it stung. Why did everything have to be about him? Why was the basis of who she was always connected with him? There was always someone reminding her of the taboo nature of their relationship.

Frustrated, she lashed her arm out and a stool next to her bed flew against a nightstand. The datapad she had used to message Kylo on landed on the ground, the screen slightly cracked from the collision. She looked at it from over her shoulder. She thought of picking it and apologizing as well as smashing it to bits.

She would do neither. She simply left it where it lay and continued on her way to the shuttle. What did any of them know? Runa had no qualms about her relationship. She should not worry about the qualms of others. Te'na words should not be taken with much value. Though they pose questions. If what she said was true then what forms of relationships had Knights taken in the past? Had they been long lasting? Were the relationships still going on? Which Knights had established a relationship? It would be nice to converse with these said Knights. Yet, finding out who they were would prove a challenge considering her source for information at this time is Te'na. Something told Runa she would not be too keen on divulging such information.

If relationships had been formed then why was it so foolish? Was it the power strife? That must be it. Runa cared little for power. That had never and will never be her goal. Runa had learned from an early age she was born to serve not to rule. Servitude seemed more ideal to her anyway.

What was foolish was her dwelling on this. They could not understand and even if she did explain they still would outcast her. If she had been with anyone else this would not be a problem. But Runa did not want to be with anyone else. Caring about what others thought of her had never gotten her anywhere before. And she would to do a lot of ignoring of words while working with Te'na. At least this was a temporary settlement.

Snide comments were sure to come her way as she saw Te'na waiting for her at the shuttle entrance. Runa was beginning to wish she could somehow soundproof her mask. Save her the trouble of physically ignoring anything the woman had to say. Thankfully her fellow Knight said nothing as Runa stepped into the shuttle.

The flight to Devuha was long and needingly strategic. Flying in with a First Order shuttle was not an option if covert operations were to succeed. Taking one of the civilian ships was the best option for them. Devuha had no open allegiance but considering they housed a supposed Resistance base there were suspicions now. Scratch that, Runa felt suspicious about the entire thing. It put her on edge to say the least. Kept her to her thoughts as the shuttle traveled. Each moment she anticipated something to happen. So far there was nothing, but the flight was not over yet.  

Te'na was vocal the entire flight, but not to Runa thank Stars. She spent her time pestering troopers about how slow they were going. She wouldn't let up until the shuttle entered orbit and prepared to land. That seemed to quiet her a bit. She didn't seem suspicious in the slightest bit, only annoyed at low capacity for speed the ship carried. She reclaimed her seat. She looked as if she was going to say something but a sharp jerk of the ship prevented her from doing so. The two Knights rose to their feet.

"What's happened?" Runa questioned, voice slightly raised as she feared the worst.

"We've been hit!" The pilot exclaimed, confirming her fears. Runa cursed to herself. She couldn't but feel that she had somehow jinxed the flight. During all her time thinking about an attack she had actually never came up with an idea of what to do and she didn't have much time to figure something out.

"What?!" Te'na practically shouted. Then another rattle came to the ship followed by multiple and frequent tremors. Lights started to flicker and alarms blared and flashed in warning. "Put up the shields!" Te'na demanded.

"We can't on the civilian ship!" The pilot shouted over the loud alarms. Runa's eyes widened with realization. She knew there was reason for suspicion. That distress signal was not meant to bring in rescue, but First Order ships. The Resistance had purposely allowed the signal to be intercepted. They were fully aware the First Order would jump on it, but wouldn't risk a full frontal assault for fear of being detected. They knew they'd fly in a civilian ship with no shields or weapons to defend against an attack. Whether they knew Knights would be aboard was trivial. Their intentions were to bring down the ship and whoever was housed in it.

There was no way in hell Runa would go allow that to happen. There was little to do about it now. Transmissions were down and therefore no way to call in for help. Even if they were up there was no possible way for reinforcements to arrive in time to offer safety. They would arrive to retrieve corpses. Runa had no plans of becoming a corpse just yet. They'd have to crash land quickly to avoid any further damage to the ship. "Crash the ship!" Runa ordered the pilot.

"Seriously?!" Te'na protested.

"If we stay in air we'll be obliterated by their weapons! Crash landing is our only chance at survival!" The pilot began to force the ship down, angling it to collide in a heavy bed of trees. They could break the momentum but there were questions whether the ship would stay in tact long enough to reach the ground. She could only hope as there was no possibility of pulling up now.

"Fine fine! Just make it happen quickly! I don't want to hear you nagging as I die!" Te’na threw her arms in the air in dramatic protest.

"Me nagging?! Have you not been listening to yourself this entire trip!" Runa boomed in utter disbelief.

"What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of use crashing to our deaths!" Te'na retorted violently.

"Just get down!" Runa groaned before shoving Te'na to the ground as the ship rammed into tall trees.

If Te'na protested Runa never heard it. All she heard was a horrific metallic screech of durasteel plating being forced to rip apart. A curdling roar of what sounded like a gruesome beast echoed as they collided and dragged across the surface. Then there was the screaming and dripping pain. Whose screams those were exactly where unknown to her, but the pain was definitely belonged to her. And then there was nothing and she returned to the familiar bleak obscurity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the small delay, I've been studying for a huge test and working on this during short free time. But here is it and I hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
> Lots of love to you all! <33


	13. Chapter 13

_Of all the people to survive the crash, of course it'd be you._

A voice, muffled and indistinct, reached her unconscious. It was nearly inaudible in the far reaches of her mind. Yet it was enough to jar her back into reality. Runa was in a daze that one experiences experiences when they do not recall what had happen or recognize where they are. It came back quick however. The flight to Devuha, the attack, forcing the ship to crash, the screaming and the pain that jabbed through her before everything went dark. She jerked up suddenly, causing the hovering Te'na to jump. Runa's eyes blinked rapidly as she attempted to determine where she was.

There was a thick sheath of either smoke or fog that covered the landscape. There were light embers treading the ground and scattered smolders of broken and torn metal. The air was thick and reeked of charred fuel and melted metals. Her hands felt cold and damp dirt and she realized she was no longer in the ship. Whether she was thrown from it or dragged out by Te'na mattered little. The ship was in pieces and very inner layer of its frame was visible. Long and deep skid marks dug into the dirt, misshaping and uncovering deep sod. Trees had toppled over and contorted in abnormal directions. Those that remained standing were tall, the tallest she'd seen. They held no leafs only sharp thick pines that were held close together. The pined trees peered through the thick cloak that covered the area, reaching up to heights were either landing or departing ships would be.

A breeze passed by her, carrying the thick air further to her. She cringed and coughed only to have her chest ache in pain. Her land lightly pressed against it and she flinched. It was guaranteed there would be a field of bruising there. Her palms also appeared to be scraped. The cuts were not deep but they were raw and there was a constant dull burning. There was a pulse of pain shooting up her leg from her ankle. She attempted to roll it, but stopped immediately when the pain increased. Her body ached and her ankle was probably broken but no injuries appeared to be terribly serious or life threatening. Lucky considering her situation.

"Hello?" Te'na spoke up, or perhaps she had been speaking this entire time. It was only now that the ringing in Runa's ears stopped. "Did the crash turn you deaf or something? Or maybe it turned you mute. I'd like that option better."

Unbelievable. Was Te'na really so delusional to believe Runa was the talkative one? She scoffed and brought her knee up, "I could say the some for you."

"And so she finally listens to me." Te'na remarked with dry and bitter sarcasm. "Only took you long enough. That's twice I've had to wake for your ass to get up. Not to mention you pulled me on top of you as we crashed. Then I had to carry your heavy body out of the burning ship-"

"You pulled me out?" Runa cut her off surprised and ignoring the insult to her weight.

"Well yeah. Who else do you think did it? There isn't anyone else around now is there?" She said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy, like Runa was an idiot for asking.

Choosing to ignore Te'na's rude and off-putting tone, Runa bowed her head in appreciation. "Thank you."

Te'na sniffed out a laugh and crossed her arms. "Don't get sentimental about it. The last thing I need is Snoke angry at me for letting the rookie Knight die."

Runa rolled her eyes. There was no way to please this woman was there? Alright fine. Runa didn't need to please her or do anything to make her happy. She was here to locate the resistance base, who clearly had no qualms about shooting unarmed ships out of the sky. "Are there any others?"

Te'na groaned in irritation, "Didn't you hear me? There's no one around but us. The rest are either fried or blown to bits. What great use they were."

Runa narrowed her eyes taking offense to Te'na's heartless comment. "They gave their lives ensuring we could survive and get the to base."

"Oh yeah!" Te'na mocked, "But you know, they could have crashed a bit closer to the base but I guess I can use the exercise. If we can figure out where to go!" She was shouting now and throwing her hands in the air, making quite the scene.

"If you keep being so loud I'm sure the resistance will come to us!" Runa retorted through closed teeth.

The angered Knight rose a hand to cup her masked ear and she began shouting, "What! What was that!?" Te'na purposely rose her voice as she continued with her childish antics. Runa sighed frustratingly, trying to think over Te'na excessive yelling. There was a possibility Runa could estimate the trajectory of the blast. But only if she could get a good look at where they landed and where the ship was struck. She'd also need a good look at the sky, which was impossible to do around here. And certainly not while Te'na was yelling.

There was also the problem with her ankle. She'd have to heal that first, but that look concentration as well. Runa's eyes fell shut and she did her best to block out the noises of Te'na. Her hand hovered over her ankle and the pressure in her palm flooded out into the swollen limb. It was cold, like intense dry ice being pushed into her skin. She winced when she felt bones and joints stabilize. Then there was a release and every was still again. An icy pulse flared up her leg, but that was to be expected.

She sighed as she was relieved of the tension that plagued her. Brushing off twigs and as much dirt as she could, she made her way to her feet. Te'na had thankfully stopped yelling, when Runa's eyes were level with hers. Which was strange considering Te'na was taller than Runa. She quickly noticed Te'na was leaning on leg, the other limp and relieved of any pressure her body would put on it.

"You're hurt." Runa observed.

"No Kriff you idiot. We crashed!" Te'na spat violently.

"Where? I'll heal you."

"I don't need you sympathy."

"This isn't about sympathy. It's about making sure you don't slow us down when we get back on track." Runa stone faced. It was impossible to tell if Te'na had taken offense. Though she was silent, seeming staring into the younger Knight's eyes. Yet, even that was impossible to tell. Then she turned her head to side, in embarrassment perhaps, and pulled her cloak back revealing a deep gash to her leg.

Grey eyes widened at the sight. The cut was deep and long, not to mention bleeding profusely. Blood had already began to flake and crack on her exposed skin due to the crisp in the air. Infection was imminent and Runa did not want to think about just how much blood Te'na had lost already. Too much considering the crimson that stained her wound. Without instructing her, Runa pushed Te'na down to sit. She seemed unhappy by this but was now in no position to get up. Kneeling down, Runa examined the gash further. It was restricted to Te'na's thigh but covered almost the entire area. There was no bone exposed thankfully but if there was further injury then bone exposure was a large possibility.  

Runa would not wait around for that possibility to become a reality. As Runa tended to the wound the seeping blood began to stop and retreat back. She heard Te'na mumble something along the lines of 'That's kriffing cold' but Runa paid no mind to that. Runa personally thought feeling the cold effects was better than searing pain.

Slowly the gash began to close as skin was forcibly mended together. The sight was rather appalling and unnatural as flesh was pulled and stitched together by an unseen force. It was preferable to look away, Runa couldn't pose that risk. She was finishing up anyway. Her hands pulled away revealing mended flesh. There was no trace of a wound besides the dried red blotches that were caked onto Te'na's skin. Curious fingers poked and even tried to pull at where the wound was. Almost as if to see if it was all some sort of trick.

"Well isn't that nifty." Te'na grumbled acrimoniously. Runa supposed that was the closest thing to a thank you she was going to get. Which, to be honest, it was rather predictable coming from someone like Te'na who was kicking out her leg. Runa stood and turned from her, preparing to leave.

"Have you not been taught?" Runa questioned with her back to Te'na.

"Not all of us have the honor of training under our oh so prestigious leader. Besides that isn't my specialty."

Runa should have known better than to ask that question. It was bound to set her up for some snide remarks. And low and behold it had indeed. She didn't even mention Kylo's name and yet Te'na brought him up. Runa elected to ignore Te'na's comment and began following the torn ground to locate the impact sight. However, it would appear Te'na was not pleased with Runa's silence.

"It's funny you know that he's our leader considering he's the least balanced of all of us." She began speaking in a 'matter of fact tone', Runa couldn't help but look back slightly, but caught herself before speaking. "All the Knights know about it too. Why he's unfit to lead or even be a Knight." That unfortunately caught Runa's attention and this time she didn't catch herself before speaking.

"What?" Her voice was hushed as she asked.

"Oh did I strike a nerve? You gonna go run and tell your boyfriend that? Or maybe you'll go tell Snoke."

Runa's eyes narrowed in anger. Te'na's nearly obsessive need to bring him up in every conversation they had was now more than an annoyance. It was absolutely maddening at this point. It would appear Te'na thought of Runa and Kylo interchangeably. Like Runa's only defining quality was her relationship to Kylo. She took offense to that considering how far she believed herself to have come. Just earlier she had proven her use to Te'na, but it would seem the only thing the older Knighted cared about was her relationship.

A strange thing to care about really. It was no business of hers what relationships Runa had. Te'na was beginning to give her more grieve than Snoke. He should be the only one considering it was he who controlled the relationship. Te'na had nothing to gain from it and it did not affect her in anyway. Yet, maybe in some vague way it did. Runa recalled Te'na deeming her a fool. Runa concluded it was due to the natural power struggle those who wield the dark side go through. Now, however, Runa wasn't so sure. Perhaps it was not solely anger that fueled Te'na's words but jealousy as well.

Not jealousy over Kylo or herself but of what they had. She said Knights had relationships, was she one of them? Was she the only other? Had something happened? Nevermind that. It wasn't important now and frankly Runa did not care. What was important here was understanding why Te'na had said Kylo was unfit to be a Knight.

"I have no intentions of informing anyone of anything, especially since you claim it is so well known. If it is something that will hinder the First Order's goals then I deserve to know."

"You sure you wouldn't just go run crying to your-"

Runa turned around sharply, almost colliding with Te'na as she had not realized how close she was. "What is your obsession with us! It is because you're jealous or something!"

"I am not jealous-"

"You're not? Fine! Then could you please enlighten me what the issue with him leading is? Because then I can focus on getting off this planet and never seeing you again!" Runa was seething now, blood rushing her the back of her neck and face. Though neither Runa or Te'na could see her expression, Runa was sure she was snarling and flushing all shades of red.

"Alright fine you don't have to yell."

Runa was incredibly close to cutting Te'na down with her lightsaber. But Runa came to her senses and realized Te'na would just come back from the dead and haunt her for eternity. Putting up with it for the few hours was bearable compared to an eternity, but not by much. Runa turned back around and continued on her way to the crash site not expecting Te'na to speak any further. Then Runa found herself surprised.

It took awhile for Te'na to speak but when she did it was not as harsh in tone as her previous words. "I'm sure you're aware of of who he is exactly."

"I'm aware he was Ben Solo, yes." Runa fully expected Te'na to say something along the lines of "I bet you're aware of a lot" or "I bet he tells you all sorts of things" but no such comment came. Could it be Te'na was finally learning how to bite her tongue?

"That's just it. A lot of us don't think he used to be, but still is."

That hit Runa hard. "What do you mean? Like he's a..sleeper agent?" Asking that question made her physically sick. To think Kylo, the man she fell in love with, was all an facade was utterly morbid. He would not only be betraying the First Order but her as well. Runa did not know if she could bare that.

"No no not that!" Te'na clarified and Runa sighed and mumbled a thank you to the Stars, which Te'na surprisingly did not comment on. She only continued to explain. "When he came to Snoke, he was a mess. A brooding kid with a lot of uncontrolled power. He's still the same because of his connection to the light side of the force. He tries to hide it by locking himself away in that weird chamber of his for days but news spreads fast among us when it involves the light side of the force." Te'na went silent. Perhaps waiting to see if Runa had anything to say. She would say nothing yet, she was too lost in thought. "No other Knight had a hard time, only him. I don't know exactly why that is but it strange."

Runa took in Te'na's words carefully and slowly, not wanting to be overloaded with such information. What she heard was alarming. The Knights of Ren were not meant to be solely infused in the dark side of force, but in both. That is why Snoke had chosen him to lead or that is what she was told. Yet, if Kylo was feeling a stronger connection to the light rather than to balance there was probable cause for concern. In their time together, Kylo had given little reason for Runa to be concerned. There was only that one time that seemed so long ago now. The only time he ever requested her to call him Ben. It was during their first night together and it had been the only time that name had ever been said. That was the only time he asked her to call him that, since then it had always been Ren.

In that one moment where he had been called Ben there was confusion. She thought it to be a slip of intimacy yet she could not deny the bliss she felt hearing that name on her tongue. Runa wanted to believe there was no significance of it, but she wasn't too sure.  If that wasn't proof that Ben Solo had been alive she didn't know what else could be. However, it had only been one time. He never brought up the name and neither did she. Never since has the name of that dead man been used. Whatever that was that night had fled and never returned.

"If it is such public knowledge then I'm sure the Supreme Leader is doing everything in his power to mend whatever insecurities Kylo Ren may have. It is not our responsibility to tend to him." Runa spoke firmly and with stone. She realized her words were harsh but they were also the truth. The truth can never be sweetened.

"Harsh." Te'na called her out. "I thought you'd say something more defensive of him you know considering you're-"

"What? Together? That's what bothersome Te'na-you thinking we are attached at the hip. My responsibilities lie with the First Order. Now we will speak no more of this." Runa commanded as she neared the impact sight but of course Te'na had more to say.

"Don't think you can command me to do anything." Te'na snapped from behind. Runa could not help but roll her eyes at such an immature comment. Just when Runa had thought Te'na was beginning to bite her tongue the older yet immature woman proved her wrong.

"So you wish to speak more of him?" Runa questioned with annoyance.

"No I'm just saying that I could if I choose to." Te'na retorted, probably thinking herself as clever but Runa was right at her heels.

"Then I'll choose to ignore you if you do." Runa picked up her pace and finally reached the sight of where the ship had first landed. Runa noticed Te'na begin to pick through and examine the scrap from the wreckage. For what purpose, she did not know. Peering up to the sky, Runa began to try and calculate the trajectory of where the shot come from. Her finger moved along in the air as she traced invisible lines of possibilities. It was most likely the hit came from the East. A hit of that magnitude would not have come from one of their X-wings but a base cannon. How kind of them to give away their location.

"So where'd the hit come from?" Te'na asked, arms full of scraps from the crash.

"What are you scavenging for?" Runa wondered, ignoring Te'na's question.

"I don't know anything I can use to repair my communicator." She answered simply, shoulders rolled nonchalantly. She managed to pull something out of her back pocket, it looked nothing more than clumped up and shattered metal to Runa. Her attention was brought back to the Knight and her brow furrowed in curiosity.

"You're going to repair that? Impressive."

"What have you not been taught?" Te'na mimicked sarcastically. Oh great now they were playing this game. Fine Runa could entertain the idea of this.

"It's not my specialty."

"Clearly. Now where did the hit come from?"

Runa suppressed a groan but rolled her eyes considering they would not be seen. She rose her arm into the air pointed East. "That way. The base should be around there."

"Should be?" Te'na sounded annoyed.

"I don't have proper equipment to determine the exact location."

"Then let's wait for them to come to us. No doubt they'd come search the crash for survivors."

"That's why we can't wait. They'd send out their best to search the area. We aren't in the position for that. Odds are they didn't suspect the ship to be carrying any Knights so they don't know we're here. They'd be looking for bodies of troopers. We can sneak by them and head to the base and destroy those who remained there. When the rest come back we can take them on." Runa rationalized.

"You sure you can handle that? Killing someone that is. Have you even killed anyone yet?" Te'na asked casually. Runa thought the question was an odd one, but realized it was rather valid. And honestly, Runa felt embarrassed answering it.

"No I have not, but I'm not worried about it. I can and will when I need to."

"Yeah sure. They all say that until they get into the situation. Try to remember your words, the last thing I need is you dying all over me." Te'na spoke disbelievingly.

She waved Te'na off and resumed staring at the sky. However, her thoughts were not filled with the location of base. She thought of how they had no current way of getting off Devhua. Their ship was destroyed and beyond repairable. Perhaps they could take a Resistance ship back but without communication to inform the First Order of this, they would surely be fired upon. Did the First Order even know their ship had crashed? Had any of the crew sent out a distress signal as they crashed? Runa did not know, but she thought it unlikely.

Then her thoughts regrettably turned to Kylo. She wondered how he was doing or if he ever thought of her. She then wondered how she was going to get out of this mess and if she would see him again. That communicator needed to be fixed if she ever hoped to.

"You're thinking about Kylo Ren aren't you?" Te'na asked suddenly through the silence. Runa left her thoughts and looked over her shoulder.

She crinkled her nose in annoyance and spoke lowly, "You gave me quite a bit to think on."

"No that's not it. You're thinking about when you'll see him again and if he's okay. You miss him." Te'na correctly concluded with a softer tone than before.

Runa's eyes were wide before she narrowed them. She whipped her head forward in anger. "Stay out of my head."

"I'm not in your head nor do I want to be. I just know the look." Te'na explained flatly. "You're trying too hard not to care."

Runa turned around to face Te'na with clenched fists and a strong stance. "Well what do expect when you're called a fool for caring!"

"You're not a fool for caring about someone. Only for thinking it can last. He'll make you choose you know. Test your loyalties. Make you chose between the Order and pleasure."

Runa did not need to ask who it was Te'na was referring to. "I know."

"Do you know your answer?"

Runa said nothing.

"You'd best decide soon."

Te'na turned to leave but Runa began speaking. "Is that what happened with you? Is that why you're alone now?" And then it was Te'na's turn to say nothing.

Runa no longer believed Te'na called her a fool due to power strive but due to jealousy. That became clear to her when Te'na said she had not entered Runa's mind but understood the look. Te'na could empathize with what Runa was feeling. Runa's intent was not to offend but she did not care if she did.

"Feeling sentimental are we?" Her tone was acidic and full of loathsome venom.

"No. I'm just weighing my options." Runa straight-faced.

Any tension that was between them before paled in comparison to this one. It was heavy and thicker than durasteel. Runa fully expected Te'na to reveal her lightsaber and attack her. Runa mentally prepared herself to complete a task she had just been questioned on. But Te'na did nothing but remain silent and stare forward. She was perfectly still with her head angled downward. Runa waited for the expected but was met by whispers.

"No." Her voice was incredibly quiet, almost masked by the wind, "That's not why. She was dead long before then." She suddenly looked over to Runa and her voice rose, "You should learn not to pry."

Runa blinked slowly and relaxed, "If you truly felt I was prying, you would not have answered." She lowered her eyes, "I am..sorry for your loss."

Te'na then began to grumble all sorts of profanity. Many of the curses Runa had never even heard before, but Runa let Te'na swear to herself. Runa would be lying, however, if she said she took gratification in Te'na's discomfort.

"Let's just get a move on." She grunted and headed East. Runa stilled waited, but for what she did not know. She looked to the crash sight, just to avert her eyes from Te'na. She stared at until she knew she should begin to follow. She still did not know how she going to get out of this mess. But what she did know was that herself and Te'na were stuck in it together.

 

\---

They'd been walking for awhile now and in relative silence, which made Runa feel uncomfortable for a change. But she did not know what to say and wasn't even sure if she wanted to strike up a conversation. The extent of their communication was Te'na occasionally complaining about tripping over branches and mumbling about parts not fitting together in the communicator. Runa had thought about apologizing for calling Te'na out, but she was not sorry for doing so. It needed to be said or that's what Runa thought. She also believed what she had told Te'na. If the woman did not truly feel like sharing she would not have. It was a small gesture of breaking confidentiality but it almost humanized her in a way. 

Their trek had been long and there was still much ground to cover. Unfortunately Devuha was a planet that experienced the comfort of night only one season and that season wasn't now. That made it impossible to tell the time of travel, which is dangerous considering they were in Resistance territory.

The other challenge with this planet were the sun storms. They were nasty events and one was beginning to form. Native species to Devuha had developed tough hides to prevent any damage unfortunately Runa did not have such an ability. Shelter needed to be their next course of action. Thankfully Devuha housed many caves. She was concerned with how much ground the Resistance had gained, but storms like these did not discriminate.

A storm had barely begun as they made their way into a shallow cave. Runa had hopes it'd be sufficient enough to shield them from the storms. It wasn't like they had the time to pick a cave like they'd pick a condo. That imaginary scenario made Runa laugh. She imagined what it would be like to pick out condos with Te'na. It'd involve a lot of bickering and arguing. Probably about petty things like the color of the walls. Runa laughed more as she watched the storm from the cave's opening.

"What's so funny over there?" Te'na chimed as she tinkered with her communicator.

"Nothing." Runa cleared her throat, "Nothing sorry."

"Sure whatever." Te'na paused, "Don't stand so close to the opening."

Runa looked over her shoulder to see Te'na staring in her direction. She pushed herself off the cave's wall and retreated back. "Wow you're beginning to sound like you care."

"Ha!" Te'na bellowed, "I wouldn't be caught dead doing that." She then continued to work on her communicator.

Runa's lips pressed together and her eyes once again rolled. "How's the communicator coming?"

"I've got most of it put back together, but I'm missing some stuff. I bet the Resistance base will have plenty to pick through."

Runa simply hummed in response and worried about how much they were relying on this base for help. She better have gotten the location right. If not she wouldn't hear the end of it from Te'na and who knows how long they'd be stuck on Devuha. She laid herself on the ground, using her arms as cushion for her head.

"Don't fall asleep on me, Mistress Ren." Runa shot up in fury and turned her head towards the tinkering Knight. Before Runa could yell at her, however, Te'na put her hands up in defense. "Fodder. Sorry sorry that one slipped out."

"If you are insinuating that I slept my way-" Runa began still angered by Te'na's comment, yet Te'na had cut her off this time.

"I'm not imply that all. He wouldn't do that, Kylo that is. He might not be the best leader but he's...he's still a good man." She began to busy herself with the communicator once again.

Runa was taken back by this comment. All Te'na had said regarding Kylo had been negative up until now. "Thank you." Runa responded immediately without thinking. She thought for sure Te'na would have sort of comment for that, but she merely looked up from her task and groaned in acknowledgment.

"Seriously. Don't fall asleep." Te'na stated as Runa laid back onto the ground.

"I won't. I'm just going to meditate." Her eyes closed and she relaxed her body. She breathed silently and deeply as the world around her dissolved. It was delightful at first until she felt something unfamiliar. Something whose nature could not be determined by her. She felt uneasy-unnatural. Like something was being forced.

"You feel that too?" Te'na asked casually. Runa flew up and stared at Te'na who was still trying to repair the communicator.

"Yes. What is that?"

Te'na sighed, "I'd say it's the StarKiller Base. They must have fired it."

Runa almost jumped out of her skin. The Starkiller Base fired? That's what she was feeling? The destruction of the Republic planets? The death of all those people? She had heard about force users being able to sense tremors in the galaxy. The destruction of worlds would sure constitute for a tremor.

"Damn," Te'na cursed, "Things must be getting serious over there and I'm stuck here in this cave."

"I..." Runa struggled, still unsure how to feel about it. Kylo had been assigned to that base. How had things progressed so quickly? Runa knew there were plans on using the Starkiller Base in the near future but this was sudden.

"Don't get too worked up about it. With a weapon like that there's no way the Resistance could stand a chance." She sounded almost comforting and her words did in fact make Runa feel more at ease. Runa was not sure someone like Te'na was capable of comfort. Yet, Te'na technically admitted she had someone before this, so there must have been something there. Runa soon found herself wondering what that something was. "Would have liked to see it though or at least hear Hux's speech. Have you heard that guy give a speech?" Te'na questioned, distracting Runa from her thoughts.

Runa shook her head.

"Well you should. He's very entertaining-I mean he's a shab but a good speaker no less." Runa laughed quietly and shook her head. "Sorry if you're a fan of him, but he has a stick shoved so far up his ass. Wait no, I'm not sorry if you're a fan he's a shab."

Runa laughed once more, probably louder than she should, "No, I'm definitely not a fan."

"Good, because then I'd end up hating you more."

"I don't know," Runa leaned back, "I think you're beginning to tolerate me."

Te'na only scoffed in response, but she did not deny it. Runa smiled lightly and leaned her head back. Te'na may be uncouth, unfriendly, and overall unkind but Runa did not hate her. She may not exactly like her either, but the tension between them was thinning little by little. As its shroud was lifted there was tolerance growing between them. After all, it seemed they were going to be here while. The least they could do was tolerate one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Lesbians in Space..! Nah I'm just kidding. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!  
> Lots of love <33


	14. Chapter 14

Thankfully the sun storm had not lasted much longer. In fact, in was relatively brief. Resolving as quickly as it had appeared. Dusted residue clung to the air, making it thick and musty. Yet, neither of the Knights were the type to huddle in a cave and sing songs as they wait for the aftermath so completely clear. Though both found it somewhat amusing to imagine the scenario.

The fog also added cover from any unwanted prying eyes. Luckily for the Knights their force sensitivity provided the vision through the fog. No doubt the Resistance would be dragging behind. For they had not the benefits of force sensitivity. However, they did have the home advantage. But the two Knights were nearing their destination. And with the closing proximity came the mental preparation for a fight.

Up until this point, Runa had never engaged in a battle with the Resistance. In reality the only encounter she has ever had with them were when her city was attacked and her interrogation with the resistance woman. She began to ponder on what happened to her, but the answer was rather obvious so she did not linger. Even when her city was bombed she had never actually seen any Resistance in person, only the x-wings the cowered in. 

Revenge was not what Runa sought. Even after her training, she still didn't want to kill Resistance members for revenge. She didn't know the ship number that dropped the bomb and slaughtering every Resistance member she saw seemed chaotic. She was no fan of chaos. Her dislike for the Resistance was for other, more practical, reasons.

The First Order had been her entire life, even before all this happened. They were strict and demanding but the best ones always were. Her father liked to boast of a relative that served in the Imperial Army, though he never told her the relative's name. Yet, all of that was in the past and best be forgotten. It was the past for a reason. Currently the two Knights were in a tolerable game of twenty questions. An odd thing to do, Runa knew, but it was better than bitter silence. And truly she found it quite fun, but she'd never actually say that.

"Does it have horns?" Te'na asked after a long pause. Runa gave her credit for not cheating by trying to examine Runa's thoughts. What was really surprising that Te'na had not tried at all. Though, Runa assumed it must be tempting but then again she may just be placing her thoughts onto someone else. Regardless, neither of them tried to cheat. They may have thought about it but they didn't act on it. 

"Yes." Runa answered simply as she continued her leisure pace.

Te'na fell silent again in obvious thought. She made little humming sounds as she tried to pick her next question carefully. Afterall, she didn't have an infinite number of guesses or at least that's how Runa thought the game went. No protests were made so she guessed she got the rules correct. Or maybe Te'na didn't know them either. Like it mattered, honestly. "Is it hoofed?" She asked finally.

"Mhm." Runa hummed as confirmation. She was sure Te'na would get it now, which would mean Runa would lose. Or did it mean she would win? What was the point of the game again? Would she win because Te'na was able to guess it or if she wasn't able to guess it? Or maybe it was a joined effort, like they either both won or lost? Runa began to find herself seriously questioning the methodologies of a children's game.

"Okay! I got it now!" Te'na boasted with pride. 

"Alright let's hear it."

"It's a Bantha." She beamed with the utmost confidence.

Runa, however, almost stopped in her tracks for the shock. All the thoughts of Te'na guessing correctly were gone now. Her eyes rolled and her brow furrowed in hopelessness, as if Te'na had failed to solve life's greatest mystery instead of failing to guess the correct being in a children's game. "A Bantha? Really? You just asked if it was hoofed." Runa practicality sighed in the wind.

"What? Aren't Banthas hoofed?" Te'na question in utter disbelief of how her confidence betraying her.

"No, no they aren't. And that was your last question. The correct answer was a Jerba." Runa informed with a shrug.

"What! That didn't count!" Te'na protested.

"Yes it did. I'm not arguing about this."

"Fine, but I'm making this one impossible." Te'na crossed her arms in defiance. 

"We'll see about that." Runa spoke not intending to come off as a challenge but it was certainly received that way. Te'na grew silent once more as they continued on their way no doubt trying to conceive the most difficult and dastardly thing imaginable for Runa. This was all comical really. Two adult Knights entertaining themselves with a silly game like this was laughable. If Runa was told her first mission as a Knight would involve passing time with the use of an old children's game she would look at them as if they were cross. She could believe the ship crash and even the insufferable partnership but nowhere in her training had there been fun and games. 

"I've got it-no wait." Te'na mumbled in indecision causing Runa's lips to twitch upwards into something that could be identified as a smile. Her small smile faded quickly once she heard a small shuffling in the distance. She stopped in her tracks, Te'na nearly crashing into her. Runa waited to hear the sound again, her eyes now shifting over the area. Te'na turned to her with on hand on her hip in annoyance as she waited for an explanation.

"Did you hear that?" Runa whispered lowly to Te'na. Then the shuffling came again, louder and clearer than before. The two Knights instinctively brought their hands to their belts in preparation.

"There." Runa heard Te'na say. Her eyes followed to where Te'na pointed and in the distance were three figures trudging through the fauna. The distance between them was not great but was close either. Just the right space to identify general apparel. Her eyes narrowed and scanned over them. They were decently camouflaged but not perfectly. They all wore helmets of sorts with some sort of filtration system. Probably for the sun storm residue Runa reasoned rather quickly. One, however, had two blue lekku protruding from the helmet. Runa focused her eyes on that one and noticed a crude Resistance insignia painted on the back of helmet. 

Her eyes went wide and urged Te'na to come closer. She leaned over and murmured, "Resistance." A low groan came from Te'na's throat and she nodded in acknowledgement. "We need to ambush them." She informed in a whisper. Te'na then moved away and began to stalk her way into the thick brush. Runa opened to her mouth to speak, but stopped herself. Te'na had previous field experience with situations like this. She was the veteran here not Runa. It would be best to follow her lead. 

Runa stayed close behind her, keeping her eyes trailed onto the three Resistance scouts. It was not as challenging to keep her breath sturdy as she thought it'd be. She was stalking them, hunting them like a wild beast. She couldn't help but find it strange to watch them knowing they were going to die-that she was going to kill them. That concept was uneasy and peculiar. Watching something knowing it would die, but it had no idea itself. Unknowing that these were the final moments of life. Unknowing of something stalking with fatal intentions. 

The fatal intentions were also hard to grasp. The idea of taking a life forcibly was frighteningly manic. She was going to kill someone, a person. It was odd to envision those Resistance scouts as people. Perhaps it would easier to see them as those combat droids. That still felt strange. Runa had killed a shaak when she still lived on Garel. She stopped herself once more. It would do her no good trying to see them as anything other than what they were. 

The two Knights stopped once they gained some ground on their incoming prey. Then they waited, looming over and coated in the smog. Te'na reached behind her belt and took hold of two saber hilts. Runa was surprised at this. She had never seen anyone wield dual lightsabers. Though she did not have much to go off. The hilts were magnificent, a white gold donned with intricate jagged carvings. Then she leapt forward, cutting through the air and landing behind unsuspecting scouts. 

Panicked they whipped around, nearly dropping their weapons in the process. With a deafening roar her sabers unleashed. They were a deep red and radiated even darker crimson sparks. There was nothing light about her sabers and Runa found herself admiring its shaded glow. 

They began to fire at her, but with ease her deflected their shots off in spiraling directions. Then it was her turn. She rushed and crashed into them like a wave slamming into the shore. Her movements were a violent grace and Runa was amazed. She became mesmerized and almost forgot to join in. That is until she saw the lekkued one aim a shot at the wild Te'na. 

Runa revealed herself and swiftly unsheathed her saber. She nearly hit the unsuspecting twi'lek but her adrenaline rush caused to her over shoot it. The twi'lek stumbled backwards and its yellow eyes became visible in through the helmet. Runa noted they were wide and frightened. She spun her saber in her hands waited for the twi'lek to rise. For what purpose she did not know. Perhaps it was chivalry or her own her worry to end a life. Yet, the twi'lek remained frozen in place gaping up to her. She silently begged for the twi'lek to rise and put up a fight. She did not want to kill something that would lie down and accept it. One step forward make the quivering twi'lek rise to its feet and regain a suitable composure.

Her heart beat against her chest and soon it was all she could hear. A loud drumming that thrummed through her body making her shiver in acidic anticipation. A pressure built to the brink inside her until it erupted into a glorious and bellowing hysteria. She pounced and swung down. Her eyes were open and wide for fear of missing something. The twi'lek was quick, however, and managed to dodge. He fired off a few shots but Runa used the force to send them elsewhere. The twi'lek backed away and continued to fear, but Runa was persistent. She used her saber to deflect the shots and soon the twi'lek was cornered. Desperate, the twi'lek threw his gun aside and armed himself with a vibroblade. Runa's saber collided with it and the twi'lek struggled to hold her off. 

Runa let up only to strike again and again. The twi'lek maneuvered around and sluggishly blocked her attacks. She slashed at the scouts hand, just enough to graze it. He hissed in pain and instinctively dropped the weapon. Seeing the opening, Runa took the twi'lek by the throat. She felt the muscles under her hand try to expand and contract. The scout gurgled and gasped as he clawed at her hand and thrashed about. She was surprised as just how light this scout was. Her grip tightened and she threw him off to the ground. The twi'lek's head collided with a rock and its helmet cracked in two. Runa saw him try and rise, but his arms held no support and he fell to the ground once more. She stood over him and thought back to how strange it felt to imagine death. 

There was no more need to imaging it now. She brought her saber down and pierced him through the chest, stabbing him into the ground. The twi'lek went limp and silent. She waited for just a moment to see if he would move once more, but the twi'lek did not. He only laid there, cold and dead. Her eyes had become dry and tears formed at the corners, but not for sorrow. She took her saber out of his now still body, causing it to roll over. Her eyes fell upon the twi'lek's face. Eyes were still partially open and lips parted in agony. His face was young, very young. The twi'lek was no man but a boy, a boy who could be no older than sixteen and Runa felt pity. 

If things had been different this boy could have grown up in the First Order and would not have died this day. There could feel no guilt, however, there could be only pity. Pity that this boy had to die this day. Pity that he had joined the wrong side. There was a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she did not understand and she wondered is this how everyone felt when they first kill someone. 

The drumming slowly began to clear and she heard Te'na questioning the last remaining scout. Yet, Runa's eyes still focused on the boy's face and she had a feeling she would remember it forever. 

"There's about twelve or so left of them. They got scattered by the storm." Te'na spoke, suddenly standing next to her.

Runa's gaze was brought to Te'na and she nodded in response. The storm had not slowed the Resistance down, only scattered them. They would need to get a move on soon if they hoped to beat them back to the base.

"Also, one of them had a communicator. I'm gonna take this little thing apart and use it for ours." Te'na informed devilishly.

"Wait." Runa called and Te'na hummed in response. "Did they use it? Did they manage to get a transmission out?"

"No. One of them tried but a quick snip to the head fixed that." Te'na laughed and it made Runa feel uneasy.

"I see..." Was her soft reply, her eyes again finding the body of the twi'lek boy. There was a silence between them and it seemed the body also caught Te'na's attention. 

"Ziklo was a twi'lek." Te'na said suddenly and out of nowhere. 

"What?" The question had barely escaped Runa's lips before Te'na began to speak again.

"Ziklo, she was my partner before all this Knights of Ren business." Te'na informed casually. 

"Partner?" 

"Yeah you know like.."

"Oh." Well this had certainly come as a surprise, but Te'na did not stop there.

"Though she was red skinned not blue like this one and she certainly would have put up a better fight." Te'na grimaced in disgust. Runa looked to Te'na and almost told her that she didn't need to say these things if she didn't want to, but Runa realized Te'na may be saying these things because she wants to or she feels that it is right. "She was a bounty hunter, a damned good one too. She could snipe anything. If she were here now, she would have these guys down in ten seconds flat." 

"Why are you..?" Runa found herself asking despite herself.

Te'na shrugged and sighed heavily, "Look, I'm just trying to I don't know lighten things up for you? I know the first one is kind of weird but I just thought-kriff I'm bad at this stuff. Thought I'd try at least." Te'na mumbled and shifted between feet. 

Runa looked up to her wide eyes, different than before. Te'na's gesture could easily be seen as compassion but it was odd coming from her. Yet here she was trying to best to make Runa feel more at ease. Her lips curled and formed a wide grin and she laughed. A bright yet small laugh that made Te'na cock her head. "You didn't try. You did ease the tension. Thank you." 

"Uh yeah well-" Te'na stammered in embarrassment, she clearly didn't expect Runa's response, "Let's not get too sappy alright? I have a reputation and we really ought to get moving."

Te'na moved away and began trudging along. Runa turned to follow but a question slipped past her mental filter, "How did she die?" As soon as the question left her she was filled with horror and regret. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that." She tried her best to mend the situation.

Te'na looked over her shoulder and remained silent for an unknown time. "No. It's fine really. It's nothing spectacular like you'd think how a bounty hunter would go out. It was a fever."

"I'm sorry." Runa said again, this time softer and more affectionately. 

"I am too." Was all Te'na said before carrying on with Runa soon following behind her. And so they left the bodies of the Resistance to rot and be consumed and devoured by the dry soil. All regrets were soon turned into carrion. 

\---

"I've got the communicator working." Te'na informed with pride though Runa kept her gaze focused on the buzzing Resistance base they had been spying on for sometime now. It was surrounded by strange protruding durasteel spikes that faced both inwards and outwards. Those were probably to keep wildlife away. There weren't many Resistance members in the base, less than a couple of handfuls if that. They weren't well armed either though those two blaster cannons could pose a problem. They would need to take those out first then they could focus on eliminating the Resistance forces. "Oh you know no big deal or anything. It isn't like this is our only way of getting out here or anything." Te'na grumbled. 

Runa peered over to her, "You did a great job with that. Can't even tell it's made up of different parts." What she said was true, it was a tad scratched up but Runa knew she could do no better or even get a result close to what Te'na made.  

Te'na stiffed a laughed, "You think I actually need praise?" 

"No, but you enjoy it." Runa teased.

"Maybe." Te'na responded playfully causing Runa to smile. It wouldn't matter considering both of them wore masks, but it was becoming more and more of a natural pattern. "So should we call up Order and get some back up for this base?" Te'na inquired while carelessly tossing the communicator in her hand. 

Runa shook her head in disagreement. "No. We can't risk waiting. The rest of scouts would be back by then and they have heavy assault weapons. Plus, this planet is still technically neutral-" Te'na scoffed at that and Runa did not blame her, "A fleet of cruisers would be seen as an invasion. We can't risk losing the planet." 

"Then what should we do all wise one?" Te'na questioned dramatically.

Runa elected to ignore the theatrics, "See those cannons over here-" She gestured over to them and Te'na nodded. "We can take those out. Hopefully it will create an explosion and take out a few of them. Then we move in quick and take them while they're disoriented." 

Te'an whistled quietly, "Is your dirty take just as strategic? If so it must be great." Runa whipped her head around and shot Te'na a look, and even through the mask Te'na understood. She put her hands up defensively, "Okay okay sound like a good plan. But in all seriousness how are we going to take out those cannons?"  

"How we deal with most things. By force." Runa explained her eyes fixated on the cannons.

"So we're going to use the force to blow them up?"

Runa slumped her shoulders and sighed, "Yes, that's what we're going to do."

"Okay just making sure we're on the same page." Te'na paused and Runa felt a hand on her shoulder making her jump. "You're okay though right? To you know-" 

"Yes," Runa cut off before Te'na could finish. She knew what she was going to ask. "I'm fine." 

Te'na nodded once and took her hand away, "Alright. Let's get to work then."

The two Knights stood side by side and extended an arm. Fingers strained to find their targets but once they did their grip was firm. "Wait until that group walks by. We want to take out as many as possible." Runa instructed and Te'na complied. Runa thought back to how Te'na would have protested and said something along the lines of 'you don't command me' but they had both come a long way since then. 

Her eyes followed the movements of the group as they walked and as they drew closer she felt her heartbeat pick up until it was racing once more. Her breath hitched in her throat as they reached the cannons. "Now." She breathed, letting out a sigh she didn't know she needed to until now. The Knights' hands clenched and the cannons erupted into an explosion. Smoke filled the air providing the perfect cover as the two rushed into the base, using the force to aid in their speed. 

Their sabers illuminated and they rose from the smoke like fire. Together they charged at the unsuspecting Resistance and together they cut one down. Runa paused for only a moment, taking in how that was the second person she's ever killed. She heard Te'na ask if she was good. She nodded and stepped over the now fallen corpse. The Resistance was disorganized and frantic to fight back, but the Knights gave them no opportunity to do so. 

Soon Runa could no longer coherently recall the number anymore. It wall went by so fast and Te'na was with her every step of the way. Watching her back, and Runa covering hers and soon Runa was getting the hang of this. 

No matter how hard the Resistance tried to fight back, the Knights always pushed them back. Suppressing them to an eternal silence. And then there were no more, only the two. The two stood back to back with labored breaths and shoulders heaving. Slowly the pair come down from their high and brought their lightsabers back to rest. 

"Damn," Te'na sighed breathlessly, "You may be small you are sure are mighty." 

Runa turned around, a hand on her hip. "I am not small." 

"You are compared to me. Now shuddup and take the compliment." Runa rolled her eyes and waved Te'na off. Runa was interested in exploring and finding some information that could be useful to the First Order. She wandered into an open building and noticed wall of what she would call primitive technology. She approached it and began to snoop through the files. 

At some point Te'na had entered the room and stalked over Runa. "I informed the First Order we are in need of a discrete transport." Runa groaned in acknowledgement, as she decoded the encrypted files. So far she'd found some schematics for more cannons and pulse rifles that she had already began downloading onto a datapad. 

"Hey!" Te'na called to her. "Come take a look at this." Runa disconnected the finished datapad and complied.

"Yes?" 

"Look." She pointed to screen and Runa's eyes scanned the information. Her stomach churned in disgust as she took in the information. It seemed the Resistance base was conducting some sort of experiments with the remains of troopers. As if they were trying extract information from deceased troopers. Mostly using their heads, trying to gather memories about the trooper programs and insight into the First Order. There was also notes about implanting troopers with control chips, to have them work as double agents. It was unsettling to say the least. "Should I delete the data?" Te'na asked, her finger already hovering over the screen.

This was disturbing information but the First Order needed to hear about this. The results seemed inconclusive but it was best to have professional eyes look over them. "No download everything on this datapad and then delete it." 

"Can do." Te'na sing-songed as the data downloaded. As soon as it was completed she made sure to delete any residing information and destroy the terminals with her lightsaber. Perhaps having too much fun as she did so. Runa kept herself preoccupied by looking at the sky and waiting for the transport to appear. She hoped it would get here before the remaining Resistance. 

Her time on this planet had been a whirlwind. There was panic, frustration, anger but now it all seemed well. She brought her attention to Te'na. It was strange how much they've both changed around each other. Runa would dare guess it was more than tolerance at this point. "Having fun?" Runa questioned with a toothy smile.

"Very much so." Te'na answered in a laugh, "You know you're proving to be much funner than I thought. I called you a wretch when I first met but I don't think that anymore...mostly." 

Runa scoffed, "Wow thanks you are much too kind."

"Hey I said I don't think that mostly." Te'na defended herself.

Runa shook her head, "I didn't mean what I said earlier about never wanting to see you again, okay yeah I did at that time. But now, I don't think that."

Te'na laughed and leaned down to Runa, giving the impression of eyes contact. "You think you'd miss me, sweetheart?" 

Runa shrugged, giving off an air of nonchalant, "Yeah, probably, maybe." 

"Ha!" Te'na snickered, "Kylo's gonna be jealous."

For the first time, Runa did not mind Te'na's teasing of Kylo Ren and she laughed with her. "He'll manage I'm sure."

"Scandalous." Te'na gave a breathless laugh. 

The pair fell in a comfortable silence and they waited outside for their transport. It was an odd thing between them, but both seemed rather happy. Much happier than when they had first been formally introduced. Runa figured she could live if her partnership with Te'na continued. Maybe even look forward to it.

Runa closed her eyes and felt the breeze brush against her, carrying the scent of bloodied sulfur. She felt a slight pull at the back of her mind and shook it off, but it returned. It filled her with a staunch sense of dread and trepidation. She hunched over slightly and gripped her chest in discomfort. "Ren..." She didn't hear herself whisper into the breeze. It was him, it had to be. Her eyes lit up towards the sky once more and she closed to her eyes and tried to reach out. She knew he was far but she had try to find him. She knew what she was feeling was him. He was in agony, physically and emotionally as well.. For what she did not know, but she planned to find out.

She relaxed and opened her body and mind only to have a strong pressure rushed into it. She heard loud screeching, like a wraith and saw images of man she did not know. Sad, and alone. Then she saw scarred tissue and the jagged teeth from a smile twisted from laughing. She cried out and pulled away, a hand placed on her forehead. 

"Hey! What happened?" Te'na rushed to her attention.

"I.." She tasted rusted copper on her lip. She pulled her mask up slightly, enough the pass the tip of her nose. She brought her fingers up to her nose and found blood leaking from her nostrils. She palmed it slightly before clearing it with her sleeve. "Sorry I don't know what.." Runa didn't know what she apologizing for except maybe being embarrassed that Te'na saw her bleed like that. She quickly sheathed her face once more.

"Listen." Te'na began, "When I was waiting for your ass to get up and you were mumbling names in your sleep-"

"I'm sorry you had to hear that." Runa apologized once again.

"No shut up." She grabbed Runa by the shoulders. "I'm trying to say it was not Kylo's name you were mumbling. It was Snoke's." Te'na said gravely and in an ominous tone. That was the first time Runa had heard Te'na speak so seriously. 

Runa stared up at her in disbelief. She felt absolutely sick right down to her core. The thought of Snoke on her mind in her sleep was pure wretchedness. 

"You're lucky I'm one of the less uptight Knights." Te'na continued. "Snoke is a man who has lived many lives, you need to be careful." She warned ambiguously before pulling away from Runa. 

"Te'na..." Her name fell softly off her lips. 

She turned to Runa slightly, stopping in her tracks but Runa found herself speechless. She made a small step forward, reaching her hand out. Then she was blinded by an intense light and a sound that deafened her ears and made them ring. She felt herself be thrown back, her arm still reaching out. She crashed into something hard and jagged before crumbling to the ground. She lay on her side for a moment, dazed. Eyes were hazy and saw only colored shapes. Her ears rang louder than a storm and blood fell from them like rain. Shaky hands were placed to the side of her mask, pulling it off in one rough motion. She blinked to regain her vision and slowly it came back to her. 

The ringing was still loud, but she managed to take in her surroundings. She searched with hooded eyes and found only fire. She stared at it, enticed by its rhythmic blaze. Her hand ran over her face trying to get a grip on the situation. She remembered everything then, and she became panicked. Only one thing was on her mind and her name fell off her lips again, "Te'na." 

Leaping up, despite the pain, she ran. Ran to find Te'na. She called out to her but heard nothing. Her fell upon a mass leaning against the spiked guardrails. She quickly ran to it and became enclosed in horror once she reached it. The mass was Te'na but she wished it wasn't. Her body was limp and impaled by the spike. It was coated in red, coated in blood. She heard herself gasp and begin to hyperventilate. The corner of Runa's lips fell and she could feel the tears gather in her eyes. Her hands quivered as she reached for her, cupping her face. Her eyes fell upon one dark one, having been revealed by a crack in her mask. 

She carefully took Te'na in her arms and brought her away. She knelt down and held Te'na tightly in her lap. "It's okay..I've got you now..." Runa tried to speak but it only came out cracked sobs. She noticed Te'na's eyes shift upwards, making contact with Runa's. Her eyes lit up with false hope and she steadily began to remove Te'na's broken mask. Runa's hand fell upon tanned skin as she cupped Te'na cheek, her fingers delicately tangling in thin caramel locks in an attempt to comfort. Sharp dark eyes gazed into grey ones and Runa smiled as best as she could. 

She began putting all her effort into trying to mend the gaping wound in Te'na's abdomen. But deep down she knew her act of desperation was in vain. She felt Te'na take her hand away, fingers enclosing around each others. Runa glanced to their hands before returning her gaze to Te'na. With their silent understanding, tears began to escape from their cages. 

A shaken and bloodied hand reached up, brushing over Runa's quivering lips. Her hand lingered there, staining her lips red like warpaint. Her eyes poured into the weeping Knight's with an emotion twisted by fear and pain. Trembling, Te'na's lips parted and she choked out a dry breath.

"Vee...t..a." Her voice was trapped in her throat as she croaked out the first and only time she called her by her title since they had gotten here. Something collapsed within Runa and she wanted nothing more than to take time back. Take time back to hear her name and title fall from Te'na in a matter that was not as dour. If only the force could permit that. 

Slowly and with melancholy grace, Te'na's bloodied hand fell and her fingers loosened around Runa's. Her body fell limp and slack in Runa's arms and she knew Te'na was gone. A breath escaped her, broken and defeated. Her body toppled over and her forehead placed against Te'na's, her tears falling onto unmoving cheeks. Her arms took Te'na into a tight embrace and part of her hoped life would flood back into her. But life was not as giving as she wanted. 

Runa carefully, as if not to stir her from rest, laid her on the ground. She knelt there for awhile, her eyes lowered and tear marked. She rose, her eyes still lowered to the body of her fallen friend. They closed and her took in a long and deep breath through her nose. As they opened, she felt the pit in her stomach twist and change from sorrow to anger. Her fingers curled into fists and nails dug into the skin enough to draw to blood. Her jaw clenched tightly and the veins in her neck protruding. 

She turned around, her feral eyes hungry for the one who caused this. Her eyes fell to a man half crushed by the destroyed cannon. In his now limp hands was a hand cannon, the barrel still smoking. Grey eyes darkened as she made her way over there in movements that were trance like. She stood over him, her eyes burrowing into him. He was dead, succumbed to his wounds. The coward had accepted death after he made his last ditch effort. Her lips quivered and she began to shake. Her brought herself down to him, picking up his head by his hair. She stared at him for what seemed like a lifetime, wanting him to look back at her, wanting to see his fear. But there was nothing except the cold stare of a dead man. She scowled and slammed his head back into the dirt. 

Her hands found the hand cannon and she held it tightly, and it cracked slightly under the pressure. She held it up before bringing it down to his head, causing blood to spill from him. She did this again and again, blood coating her arms and chest. The sound of weapon colliding with his head, his skull cracking and blood splashing, filled her ears. Her cries grew into animistic shouts of anger and soon there was nothing left of the man but a heap of tangled meat. Skull fragments and pieces of brain clung to the fabric of her clothes and meddled themselves in her hair. Patches of his hair were stuck to her fingers by his blood. Her teeth were bared as she slammed the weapon down into what was left of the man's head. 

Breathing was ragged and tears mingled with spilled blood. Her eyes burned from the tears that fell from them but she was too bloodied to wipe them away. She pushed herself off the ground and dug her heel in the remains, kicking and dragging them across the ground until they were torn into the dirt. 

She walked back over to Te'na, twitching from the adrenaline. She picked up her mask and put it back on before finding the communicator Te'na had made. She struggled to work it but eventually contacted the officers on Snoke's cruiser. Their holos appeared and they greeted her accordingly, "Veeta Ren."

"Put me through to Snoke." She ordered.

"Your transport is nearly there-"

"Now!" She shouted into the communicator. The officer jumped and soon his holo was gone and Runa knew she was being put through to Snoke. 

His holo appeared quickly. "Veeta Ren, for what do I owe the pleasure."

"I-" She stopped realizing she was unsure of what she should say, "I apologize for the disturbance Supreme Leader but I feel the information I carry is of the utmost importance." 

"Then please continue." He gestured.

"My fellow Knight, Te'na Ren, she-she has..fallen." She struggled to keep her voice from cracking. 

"Hmm," he hummed, "I see. A pity really she fell in such a way. If I had known she was so easily defeated I would have done the honor myself. When you return, report to me of the finding you made on Devuha." 

"Yes, Supreme Leader." Her voice was disembodied and far, not even hearing herself. She was glad her mask was stone faced for underneath she held terror. The connection ended and Runa stared at it, not wanting to believe Snoke's words. He found her death trivial, like it was nothing. Like she had meant nothing. She meant something to Runa, she meant a lot to Runa actually. 

"By the Stars!" A voice gasped and Runa shot her head in the direction from which it came. There stood the remaining Resistance scouts, the twelve Te'na has mention earlier. They stared at her with gaping expressions yet she remained silent. One carried a large sac over his shoulder and Runa wondered if the heads of the troopers were in there. 

"Is that a Knight of Ren?" One quivered. 

"Yes, I think so.." Another responded. 

"Look another! But that one's dead? See they can be killed!" One triumphed. 

Runa felt the burning in her stomach boil throughout her, like she was oil and someone had thrown a match to her. She had never felt this rage in her entire existence, not even when her parents died. She realized it was not rage felt. It was hatred. As she looked to the scouts, the more she wanted them dead. No, the more she wanted them to suffer. And slowly, Runa began to understand the concept of revenge. Through her rage she would ruin all those who stood before her and her wrath could finally bloom.

As they whispered among each other, Runa removed her mask. She let it slip from her grasp and it crashed loudly with the ground. The scouts looked to her puzzled expressions. 

"Are you surrendering?" One of them asked.

"No." Runa said flatly, "I want you to see the face of the one who kills you." As soon as the words left her mouth she lunged at them, emitting an inhuman war cry. Her saber slashed through one at the hip and she dragged it sideways, cutting him in half. The scouts dispersed and began to fire in her direction. She held her hand out and used the force to shield her from their attacks. She pushed forward and sent out a pulse and they flew back. She leapt to one and heard a small plea for life. She ignored it and brought her saber down to the neck and slashed upwards, splitting the head in two. 

Footsteps behind her causing her to spin around and she threw a sharp piece of debris into their back. The scout fell back and became skewered like a piece of meat. She noticed three of taking cover behind crates as they fired their blasters. She deflected their shots with her saber before retreating to cover herself. She took note of the ledge about them and brought her hand up. Swinging it down, the ledge fell crushing the three scouts and she heard their bones crack under its weight. The sound was like music to her and she wanted to hear more of it. 

She ran to a pair of two and quickly slashed at their chests causing them to scream and fall lifeless. One pounced on her from behind, wrapping their arm around her neck. She felt a searing pain rip through her shoulder. She jerked upwards from the fierce pain as it dragged down slightly. She growled and thrashed about before sinking her teeth into the exposed skin of their arm. They let out a screech and pulled back. She made quick work of them, stabbing them without turning around. She brought her saber forward and heard the body hit the ground. 

Her hand reached back and plucked whatever it was they used to stab her from her shoulder. She threw it to the ground and rolled her shoulder away from discomfort. She charged again, dodging the incoming fire from the three remaining scouts. She managed to deflect a shot directly back into the chest of one and he fell dead. 

She threw her saber towards one of the last scouts and it cut him deep in the abdomen, killing him. The final scout looked towards her fallen comrade in horror before being levitated into the air by Runa. She kicked her legs and hands clawed at her own throat. Runa watched with wide eyes as she slowly and tauntingly crushed the woman's windpipe. She began to curl her fingers painfully slow causing the woman's eyes to roll back. Then she forcefully brought her fingers together and heard that oh so sweet sound of bones snapping. The woman fell limp in the air and Runa let her fall to the ground. 

It was silent then and Runa was still. Her gaze lingered on the dead scouts before pulling away to Te'na. She held out her hand and her saber returned to her and she fastened back to her waist. Bringing herself back to Te'na, she knelt down and once again took her in arms. She lifted her up and took her tightly as she rose back to her feet. Te'na's head hung slightly off Runa's arm, her eyes still wide and pupils so large her eyes appeared to be black. She kept her gaze to them even as the transport landed. 

Troopers rushed off and held their weapons ready, though it was unnecessary. With here eyes firm and stained by tears, she turned around and approached the transport with Te'na safely in her arms. Her attention was turned to an officer who waited at the entrance. His eyes were wide with shock and his posture slack. His eyes were brought to the lifeless Te'na and there were traces of formal sadness. 

"Have a funeral pyre ready by the time I get back." She instructed, her voice hard and crisp. 

"Of course, Veeta Ren." He nodded and headed into the transport. 

A trooper came to her with their helmets in hand and Runa nodded for the trooper to place them in the transport. Another offered to take Te'na but Runa protectively held onto Te'na and the trooper got the message. She walked into the transport leaving the base behind to eventually be overgrown and forgotten.

She had laid Te'na on one of the cots in the transport and had not left since. A thin sheet covered her body but Runa held a limp hand in hers. She had given up the hope it would return the grip long ago. In her other hand held the datapad that had miraculously not broken. She would give this to someone when all of this was over. If all of this would be over. She placed the datapad on the ground and carefully took a fistful of the sheet in her hand. Pulling it back she looked down to Te'na's body. Her eyes looked more grey than brown now that they had glossed over and fogged. Her lips were blue with small blotches of purple at the corner. She looked almost ghostly angelic as she lay there lifeless. Runa's fingers traced over her eyes, and sealed them to darkness. Her thumb gently passed her cold lips and Runa sighed. She didn't dare to pull the sheet any further to see that horrendous gaping wound in her gut. Runa's eyes fluttered to a close as she let go of Te'na hand and recovered her with the thin blue sheet. 

The funeral pyre burned to embers and Runa had not taken her eyes away since the flame began. Her body had been quickly swallowed by the the flames in a bitter dance and now there was nothing but the ashes of a fallen friend. Even her mask and lightsabers did not withstand the heat of pyre and they too became ash. Her hand rose to the keypad. She hadn't moved since the inferno began, vowing to remain until there was nothing left of her friend. Though the silence and the sense of dread would plague her forever. There was no getting rid of sorrow, only accommodating for it. 

"Thank you." She said with whispered grace before dialing in the key tone. The airlock opened, dragging out the ashes into the stars. Runa watched through the viewport for a time before turning and walking away. She left with the hopes that her ashes would give life somewhere far off in the stars. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got this chapter out and whew was it a long one. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and as always I hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> -Lots of love <333


	15. Chapter 15

Her footsteps echoed beneath her, leaving a soft rhythmic beat as she carried forth. Her eyes were hardened into a fierce glare, yet her gaze was hallow. The pit in her stomach grew until she was sure it would eventually swallow her up. The abyss within her was not one of sorrow but of emptiness. 

Raw emotion had fueled her mind and body but now there was nothing left. She had truly never felt like this and she did ponder for a moment if this was how one normally felt when bereaved. Perhaps it was or perhaps it wasn't. Bereavement was no longer a concern and one can cope with grief.

Yet, she knew in the back of her mind that the anger would remain. However minuscule, it shall always have a place. What that anger was for, she may never be able to distinguish. But it was there and it gnawed at her like an akk dog on a bone. As soon she noticed and tried to dispel it, it would slink away and wait for her to forget before slowly returning and repeating the cycle over and over. 

"I will see the Supreme Leader now." She said to the officers who waited for her.

"But sir," one spoke up, a medic to be precise, "you should be treated for your wounds." 

Runa brought her gaze to the medic slow and apathetic. "I will see the Supreme Leader now." Her voice dry and monotonous, brewing with disinterest in whatever treatment the medic could offer her. There was no push behind her words or use of persuasion as she repeated herself. She leaned her head back slightly and tipped her chin upwards, silently challenging the medic to speak again. 

Wisely, the medic backed down stepping aside and casting their eyes to the floor in shameless defeat. Runa said nothing more as she left the officers where they stood. Her wounds were nothing worth concern. She could handle the occasional throb that coursed through her shoulder, in fact, she could handle much more than that. What was more troublesome was the stench of now old blood that clung to her with desperation.

Yet, her disheveled appearance could wait until her meeting with Snoke had finished. She already knew she had kept him waiting too long. Though she had little worry of repercussions and thought perhaps Snoke would find some sort of rich amusement or satisfaction if she came to him doused in the remains of the enemy. 

"Move aside." She snapped her wrist, gesturing for the ever present guards to move. They complied immediately, stiff and with straight shoulders as if they were standing in presence of a general. 

Her hands found the doors and they parted under her touch. Her eyes were soon met with the gelid and cutting eyes of her esteemed Supreme Leader. He looked directly at her and she looked backed, eyes never leaving each other. She bent the knee, lowering herself in his shadow and yet she still would not take her gaze from his. 

Snoke was first to speak, as she expected. "Much has happened in your absence. Far too much." His thin lips pressed together, pulling the scar and wrinkles together. 

"I felt a rift in the force. Am I to assume it was the Starkiller Base?" She questioned though she already knew the answer.

"It was. The Hosnian system has been destroyed and with it the New Republic fleet." Normally Runa would see this as a great triumph. The Hosnian system may not have contained the entirety of the New Republic fleet, but it certainly held a majority of it.

This act would set back the New Republic and leave them open to further attack. An easy opportunity for the First Order to eliminate the traitorous Resistance that cowered under the protection of the now weakened Republic. Yet, this was no confidence in Snoke's tone. No sense of accomplishment or pride. Only the gelid pique tone that rasped from the depths of his throat. 

"Tell me of your time on Devuha." He changed the subject casually as he rolled his angular shoulders.

Runa took a silent deep breath through her nostrils before she began recalling the details of that dreadful planet. "The Resistance was indeed on Devuha. They planned for us to receive that transmission and attacked the ship as soon as we entered orbit. I would be lying to say Devuha had no knowledge of the base stationed there. Their attack was not one of secrecy."  

Snoke's expression twisted into a distasteful scowl and a low croak emitted from his throat. He was silent for only but a moment. "Then Devuha is no longer a neutral planet. I have doubts it ever was, at least now they cannot squirm their way out of this. Tell me more of the base."

"The base was armed with advanced canons. Their design did not match previous archives which lead me to believe Devuha aided in their construction. They were destroyed along with all Resistance members." Runa forced her revulsion back as she tried not to retch at the mere mention of the Resistance members she had so quickly grown to despise. 

"The Resistance were not the only ones to have perished on Devuha." He commented with subtle droll.

Teeth chewed the inside of her cheek, clamping down too tightly as she tasted a small trace of rust on her tongue. "No. As I reported Te'na Ren fell in battle." Runa found herself slightly vexed by her seemingly inessential need to share the news of Te'na's fate once again.

"You did not leave her on Devuha with the rest of corpses." Snoke observed while he tipped his head back, exposing the scarred and age riddled skin of his neck. 

Runa's tongue swashed over the small wound in her mouth and it burned. The anger in her mind no longer gnawed but roared like a feral beast. She thought back to Te'na's death and the Resistance member who killed her. The coward could not even live long enough for Runa to seek revenge out. The vile wretch had died before he could pay for his actions. He deserved to rot on that planet, deserved for his body to be mangled without proper burial. Te'na did not. Te'na was not a coward like him. She deserved to be reunited with the stars. 

"No I did not." She rose to her feet and kept her eyes locked to icy blue ones. "Through her I was able to awaken my potential. I was able to learn power and kill those Resistance traitors. It was she who guided me to do so. I owed her the gratitude of a proper burial." Her voice was a bellow that carried and echoed through the chamber. Words became trapped within the dusted air causing a linger of pride. She wanted her voice to expand past this room and fall upon the ears of the Republic. She wanted them to know she would kill those scum over again. Wanted the Republic to know it would be she who brought death upon them. 

Snoke's gaze was a leer, silent and contemplative. "From the lives lost, Veeta Ren has risen. For that I consider your time on Devuha a success."

Runa took in Snoke's words with a steady inhale. The irony was terribly acrid and left a rather acerbic taste on her tongue. Where Te'na had died, Veeta Ren had been born. She crawled from the corpse fueled by wrath and despair. She was then shrouded in the ruin of her enemy and all fell in her wake. She was doomed to be forever indebted to her dead friend. 

She wondered briefly if there were things she could done differently. Of course there were. She would have killed the Resistance scouts herself. Would have made sure they were all dead. Te'na would be alive then, but would Veeta Ren? It was pointless to imagine. One should not use regrets to dwell, but to learn. There was no way to revert time nor was there a way to bring Te'na back. There was only the hope that she would look to Runa from elsewhere and, perhaps someday, Runa would join her there too.

Her lungs strained as they held in air and Runa exhaled smoothly. With the air leaving her lungs, the thoughts of Te'na followed.  "What would you have me do?"

"Clean yourself and have your wounds mended. There is much I have to think on." He leaned away and lazily gestured her off. His eyes left hers and she left quickly. The sting in her shoulder was becoming exceedingly troublesome and the gore tangled in her curls were drying with a foul stench. She supposed it was time that was taken care of. 

Scalding water batted against her skin and laid waste to the bloodied mess that consumed her hair and hands. She angled herself just right so the water would not pour into her open wound. Though the steam from the burning water made it prickle with discomfort. Her hand ran over her lips, lingering there for but a second before wiping the dried blood away. The pooling liquid at her feet was on off shade of bronze as she rid herself of filth. The water ceased, the rustic liquid fleeing down the drains and she was renewed. 

It was easier for her to use the medbay refresher. Treatment could proceed quickly, not that she needed much. A medic, the one from earlier, had been waiting for her. This time accompanied by a medical droid. Runa said nothing as she approached the two, draped in a long cowl that could easily be moved for proper inspection. The medical droid was swift to follow her movements, projecting a small holo screen from one of its optic as it maneuvered around her. It began to poke at her bruises, testing their severity. It beeped and whirred but Runa could not decipher what they meant. Clearly the medic understood, as they typed furiously into the datapad they carried. 

The medic began to work silently. Stitching Runa's wound together with tight threading. Luckily Runa would not need to return to have the stitches removed. They would dissolve into her skin over time and perhaps leave a small scar. Though that she would have to wait until the full stitching dissipated until she could tell for sure or that's what the medic had said. Or at least, Runa had thought she heard them say as she occupied herself with the datapad in her hands.

There was still information downloaded from the Resistance base that needed to be decoded. She was in no mood to stare at the illuminated screen and pick apart chains of symbols and numbers. However, she was not sure what mood she was in in general. The word rest crossed her train of thoughts and she was very tempted by the notion. It would be pleasing to let her eyes shut and her breathing deepen. And all too easy to find the joyous realm of slumber. Yes, that was where Runa wanted to be now. 

A loud and anguished cry rang through the halls of the medbay. Runa lurched upwards, unaware that she had slumped forward in a twilight slumber. She blinked in question believing her unconscious had conjured up the strange noise. But then she heard it again, thunderous and piercing. Almost inhuman in sound as it traveled down the halls. Then there was shouting among the tormented wail.

It was hurried and agitated though the words were drowned by the loud yowl. She saw medics from other rooms rush down the hall as the screams and cries grew louder. As it drew closer, sickness grew within her. Noxious and revolting. Her skin crawled. 

Her eyes then met the source of those vicious cries. A beast who was held down by the hands of medics and officers to a gurney. Teeth bared and growling with trails of saliva forming down the corners of its snarling mouth. Claws-no fingers were stretched and bent unpleasantly as they tried to grip onto air. This was no beast, but a man who wore one's guise. His hair was a dark mane, damp and tangled in a mangy cloth haphazardly wrapped around the side of his skull. His knuckles were translucent surrounded by salmon skin, exposed by a bare chest that heaved frantically. The color most likely from the howling and thrashing about. Small and speckled dots lay in stark contrast among his skin. Dark and scattered about, each one a unique shape.

No this was not a man. It was-

"Ren." The name fell silently against the distress. She was unaware if she had spoken the name or if it stayed within the walls of her mind. Neither mattered. His neck snapped to her direction and he stilled. He had heard regardless. Teeth clenched and grinding together as he blew air from his nostrils.  Pupils constricted tightly like those of a serpent, barely noticeable while wrapped in the amber of his eye. Rabid and deranged was his gaze as he looked to her. There was nothing left in them except the bright gleam of insanity. 

Then his arm ripped from the grasp of a medic and shot out towards her. She leaned back in reflex, breath trapped in her lungs. Repulsion shook through her and soon she was surrounded by nausea. Soon he was thrashing about and yelling out-yelling out to her. 

She could not determine what he had been trying to say. His words were flushed together in a garbled jargon. His wailing pounded their way into her ears until it was all there was. All she saw, all she heard, all she felt-everything around was him and she couldn't bare it. She saw his eye widen in what could have been desperation when she leaned forward. 

It ended suddenly when the medic rose from behind to offer assistance and she was brought back into herself. The medics and officers were again struggling to restrain him, it was only natural to want to help. Unfortunately, for the medic, they didn't get far. There was a low and savage guttural sound and the medic flew back into various medical equipment.

Runa gasped in surprise and watched the medics and officers scramble to prevent him doing anymore damage. Never had she seen him so furious-so out of control. Dismal eyes watched him struggle and she became cloaked in melancholy. It was terribly wretched watching him in such a state.

There was an increasing need to run to him, to hold him in her arms as she soothed him. To lay her lips to his eyes and put him to rest. Yet, she doubted it would be easy to do so in his hysteria. Very brief flashes of emotion passed through her and they were not her own. They were foreign and invasive. There were far too many of them all at once and she was beginning to fall ill.

Their lasting may have been quick but the intensity was fierce. It made Runa's stomach twist painfully and her chest tighten around any breath she tried to release. Whether it was caused by the bond they shared or if he was protecting himself she did not know.

Blocking him out was proving to be rather difficult as well. Partly due to his frantic switch of emotions but also in part she did not fully want to refuse him. She knew he needed help but she had not an inclination of how to offer it. Even she did know, there were doubts among her thoughts it would subdue him completely. 

"Why has he not been treated yet?!" A voice rose among the others, daunting and poorly suppressed agitation. 

"Sorry sir-We're trying sir-!" 

"Get him sedated!" The voice was revealed to be General Hux as he came into Runa's viewing. His usual orderly hair was loose and brushed against his angered eyes and reddening ears. There were damp stains on his uniform, too great in quantity to be from sweat. "Incompetent fools!" He slighted the officers and medics as they failed to apply a sedative. 

He ripped the needle from a medic, "You insufferable child! Be still Ren!" He brought his hand down roughly to the jaw of struggling man. There was heavy resistant but Hux was persistent. In a fluid yet barbaric motion the general slammed the needle down into the vein of the screaming man's neck. Runa grimaced at the sight. His muscles were a spasm and his limbs twitched in sickening movements. His eye looked to Runa once again. She inhaled sharply and her lips curved into an almost unnoticeable smile. One of pity. One of sympathy. One of love. His pupil dilated and his eye regained an iota of humanity before rolling back and falling shut. 

"Move quickly. That won't work for long." Hux ordered.

"Yes sir! Of course sir!" They took him away, but Runa's eyes stayed where he once was. She thought, in some distorted way, if she stared long enough he'd come back and manifest himself as she remembered him. The general's deep sigh brought her away from the delusional fantasy. 

His hand was quivering when he brought it to his forehead, fingers poorly shielding eyes and nose pressing into his palm. Through the slits in his fingers, his eyes met hers. There was a long pause with eyes feasting off each other's gaze. Then he looked away. Runa could see he tried to hide the embarrassment of his visible weakness but she was not so easily fooled. She was too familiar with the look. He pressed his hand through his hair and puffed out his chest. A gesture out of desperation to give off the impression of pride. 

Then he was gone too, headed in the same direction as the officers and medics. The tension in Runa's shoulders scattered, sending a chill down her spine. She helplessly hunched, her head hanging low. Was that really him? The split second of desperation in his eye, the almost passable flint of hope. Runa was sure he would have missed it if she hadn't seen those eyes before.

It was him. It had been Kylo Ren. The first time she had seen him since their separation and he's-well she did not know. She knew the man laying in that gurney was not the man she had parted with. The man she left standing in that hangar had never been so animalistic-so terrified. Something had happened. She had felt it on Devuha. Though she could have never guessed the magnitude. 

"I-I'm so sorry si-sir!" She heard the medic rise and apologize as if it was their own fault for being flung into medical equipment. 

"It's fine." Her words were bite, taking out her own annoyance on the quivering medic. "Just get on with the stitching." 

"Of course sir-ah..." The medic paused with a gasp. 

"Wha-" Runa began but halted herself when she felt the small drip of something land on her thigh. She didn't notice the tremble in her lips when she carefully brought her fingers to her cheeks. They padded against them and found them damp. Her fingers slid up further to the corners of her eyes. When had she-? 

Tears streamed from them like a river, flowing and gliding over the length of her face. She hadn't felt them-still doesn't feel them. How long had she been crying?

"Damn.." She cursed softly, her voice only appearing as breath. Her fingers curled tightly around her eyes, nails digging into skin forcibly until they formed tight fists against them. Her jaw clenched and her teeth grit together painfully. Suddenly, she wiped her eyes with arms frantically. A small and broken whimper passed through her lips as she so desperately tried to rid herself of tears. 

She stopped, her back hunched and knuckles going white as her fingers tightened around each other. The medic stared at her dumbfounded. Runa's eyes went dark as she narrowed them and glared at the obviously shocked medic. 

"Need I repeat myself?" She threatened.

"No sir. Of course not sir. I'll continue right away." The medic replied stone faced and Runa knew her threat had been no more than a cracked plea. 

\---

The remaining stitching hadn't taken long. A few minutes if that. The medic left after that, carrying the dirtied and tainted robes Runa had worn earlier. The medic brought back fresh clothes, not so different than the ones Runa had worn before. When asked what to do with the old rags Runa instructed them to be burned. 

The medic hadn't returned since then and Runa figured they had no need to. They had given her all the treatment she needed. The bruising and scrapes would heal on their own time and there was no need for her to have an overnight rest. The obnoxious medical droid had even typed a message out for her.  _ Treatment concluded _ it read. 

Runa elected it was best for her leave. Best to return to her chamber and sleep away the events that had transpired. That would be the best course of action. Yet here she stood in front of a closed medbay door. This is the room where they had taken Kylo. She needn't ask. She could feel him in there. 

He was no longer in a frenzy but neither was he calm. He was in the unconscious, purposely put there for the purpose of restraint. His mind was pure static, unreadable and empty. Whatever they had used on him had completely suppressed his thoughts as well.  

It was for the better Runa reasoned. Better for him to feel nothing than pure agony.  However, there was no reason for her being here. She convinced herself it would be a pleasant environment to finish decoding the datapad. His quiet company would give her the peace to comb through the files.

The voice her in head told her that was bantha fodder. The only reason for her to be here was her want to be near him again. It was a selfish desire and one that she knew Snoke would not approve of. Yet she still hadn't left. And she wouldn't leave.

The door opened with a hiss after activated the keypad. Her brow rose in question when her eyes first met the general sitting on a small bench. His greatcoat leaned over a chair, looking like they had been tossed there carelessly and in a rush. His jacket was unzipped and tied around his waist. The grey undershirt was loose and unfitting.  The general was a very lithe built man without his greatcoat covering him. His shoulders were slim and dusted with light freckles. They were different than Kylo's though. Much lighter, an almost transparent orange, and faded around his neck.

His hands were in loose fists and small scraping of flesh could be heard. His fingernails were dragging against his palm slightly. Runa found that odd.  

He didn't notice her standing in the doorway at first. His eyes were far off and his brow was creased in thought. Unpleasant thoughts as his lips curled down into a scowl. It was chance he happened to look at her. His shot wide quickly and Runa catch a glimpse of his thoughts. There was shock, fear and the thought how this was all inevitable. 

As quick as his eyes had widened they narrowed with twice that speed. "So it's you then." He didn't stop scraping his palms.

She tipped her head to the side and crinkled her brow and she entered the room fully. He stiffened, his shoulders rising and his adam's apple bobbing in his throat. He looked anxious and he continued to rub his nails against his hands, more frequently now. 

"The question remains whether you are here for myself or for Ren." He observed, nearly masking his nerves with perfection. 

Runa remained silent out of confusion. She was here indeed for Kylo but why would the general assume she would be here for him as well? She had no clue he would even be here. Which rose the question as to why he was here in the first place. He held no weapons on his person. He had sat off clearly wrapped up in his own well being to notice anything else around him. This was no assassination attempt. He may have had his qualms with Kylo but he was no fool. Correction. He was a fool but a very clever and smart one.

"Though seeing as how I was put through the trouble of gathering Ren and bringing him here rather than having him waste away in the snow, I am inclined to believe it is I who you are here for." He spoke up again, his lips formed a bitter smirk. More for himself rather than her Runa noted. 

Ah. It hit Runa then suddenly. "You think I'm here to kill you?" 

The general brought his attention back to her. His green eyes were wide once more. The light from ceiling reflected into them and it appeared as if they were glowing. His mouth was agape with disbelief. As if she was crazy for having to ask the question. Like it was painfully obvious. 

it was, however, not obvious to Runa. Based on what little he had said, he assumed he had saved Kylo is someway. She didn't know the specifics. She would like to but that question could come later. Regardless if he had saved Kylo in anyway she would be here not to kill him but thank him. 

He scoffed and finally let his fingers fall from his palms. "I suppose if you were you would have done it already." He reasoned, letting his back sink against the wall. His eyes looked away again and his face twisted into familiar disdain. 

She narrowed her eyes and marched over to him, staring down to him. "You believe Snoke wants you dead." She dared to accuse. 

The general was a very defensive man. Strung up with his own misguided sense of pride. Condescending and haughty as he usually carried himself around others. And yet, here he sat with his eyes looking impassive and insouciant to Runa's claim.  

"It's a safe assumption." Was all he said, his gaze avoiding hers. 

"Why?" She had to ask.

He scoffed again and shot a glare in her direction with a quick glance. "Are you daft?"

"I'd like to say I'm unaware. I've been on Devuha." She crossed her arms impatiently.

"Why in stars' name were you on Devuha?" He asked suddenly, spitting the words like they were poisoned.

She sighed at her lack of interest to repeat the story once more. "Found a Resistance base there. Devuha was aware and supplied them with weapons." She thought the short summary would suffice.

The general's upper lip curled in disgust. "Typical. Have they been eliminated?"

"Yes." Runa answered far too quickly and the general rose a brow. Thankfully he dismissed Runa's eagerness. 

"I hope those vermin suffered." He grumbled under his breath but Runa had heard it. It was surprising to hear the general's vocalization of the Resistance. Runa was not complaining. She agreed with him.

"They did." 

He had clearly thought his comment had been dismissed as he peered up to Runa with a questioning frown. "Good."

"I'd recommend sending Starkiller over there. Would make negotiations simpler." She said ending the small silence that had awkwardly formed between the two. 

The general looked up to her suddenly, his eyes narrowing and running over her face as if he were searching for something. Whatever it was he had found it as his eyes grew wide and his lips formed a spiteful sneer.

"You really are daft." He insulted loosely but Runa only stared to him in confusion. "The Starkiller base is gone. It was destroyed." 

Her stomach dropped and she swore she felt her heart stop beating for a moment. She didn't hear herself ask the question of how this came to be. But she must have as the general began to explain.

"The Resistance launched an attack and destroyed our defenses." There was resentment as well as guilt in his voice. His eyes hooded and aimed at the floor. 

Runa's knees felt weak and they buckled ever so slightly. To think the Resistance could destroy an elite base was unfathomable. They were poorly armed and outmanned. It had to have been a lie. There was no way the Resistance could have the force nor the brains to complete such a task. Starkiller had been the First Order's top priority since their conception. It had been reviewed over and over by countless eyes and subjugated to numerous screenings and tests. It was impenetrable. 

No, it clearly wasn't. Not based on the general's grave revelation. 

"I'm sorry." She found herself apologizing though she did not know why. There was nothing she could have done to stop it. 

"Your apology is unneeded and unwanted. It was not your recklessness that nearly got us all killed. You did not withhold information that could have helped us prepare." His words were pure venom, spewing with toxic acidity that could melt to the bone. 

Runa was not so daft to not to know whom he was speaking of. In fact the culprit was in the room with them. Having not said a word since the two began talking. Completely oblivious to their conversation as he remained in an induced coma. 

"Ren." His name fell from her again.

"What an astounding guess." He glowered with teeth bared. "The child was aware of the intruders and neglected to inform anyone. If he had then the base could have-" He stopped himself, turning his attention to the slumbering man. "That doesn't matter now. He's not the one who shall be faced with the consequences."

"This is why you believe Snoke will have you killed?" She pushed, her eyes clinging to him. 

"This is why I know he'll have me killed." He exhaled long and deep, forcing himself to look away from the man that held all the true blame. His eyes immediately narrowed when they met Runa's. She had unknowingly been looking to him with pity reflecting in the whites of her eyes. Her lip curved downwards, drooping into a remorseful frown. "Don't you dare look at me like that. I'm not afraid to die." 

"That does not mean you want to die." She retorted smoothly and he groaned in annoyance. "Snoke wouldn't kill you. You're too valuable." She tried to offer comfort but found herself feeling estranged. Not even she believed her words.

"Your flattery is out of pity. It's insulting. Starkiller was my base. My responsibility. It matters little who caused what. Besides," He looked her dead in the eye, "You're face is so damned readable. If you're going to try and encourage someone of their worth you'd best at least try to convince yourself of it first." 

She blinked and stared down in shame. What a horrid mess this was proving to be. She was never fond of the general. No one was. He was cruel and his ego was larger than the galaxy. Though she could not help but feel pity for the man. He was dedicated to the First Order, just as she was. 

It was unjust for him to meet such a fate based on another's actions-based on Kylo's actions. She may not particularly enjoy the general but she could see talent and determination take many forms. The general did not deserve to die at the hands of some executioner. 

She took the datapad attached to her hip in her grasp. Perhaps she was a fool for doing this, a voice in her head certainly thought so. She extended her arm, holding the datapad out for him to take. She gestured it slightly when all he did was stare at it in irritation. 

"Take it." She commanded but he would not comply. Sighing she rolled her eyes. "It holds information that could be valuable to the First Order. It needs decoding." 

"Why hand it off to me? I'm not doing you busy work-"

"Decode it then request an audience with Snoke. Tell him you decoded the information found and Devuha. Tell him everything on that datapad. Trust me he'll approve." She explained further.

He glared at her with dark intensity. "I do not want your charity!" He spat with ferocity. He acted as if what she said had been a personal insult to his pride. Runa made note of how he said he did not want it instead of not needing it. 

"But you'll still take it." She stated plainly. 

His eyes constantly flashed between her and datapad until he finally and begrudgingly swiped it from her hand. He immediately went to work on it. "Why?" Was all he asked, not looking up from the encrypted screen

"There is no need for anymore death this day."

Her answer seemed sufficient and he continued his work. It grew silent between them again and Runa found it uncomfortable. He walked over to Kylo's bedside and observed him. He was perfectly still almost dead in appearance if it were for the small heave of breath entering his chest. 

He was nearly disrobed entirely with only a pair of grey trousers covering his skin. There were layers upon layers of bandages wrapped along his body. One to the side of his abdomen, stained red from blood loss. Another was along his neck and shoulder. The largest was on one half of his face. 

What had happened to him? She almost asked the general but thought it'd be wise to hear the words from Kylo when he awoke. She wanted to be here when he would wake. Wanted to see his eyes open and to be calmed by her presence. His hands were restrained by strong durasteel cuffs. No doubt a precaution set in place in chance there was a repetition of earlier events. 

"This information is troubling." The general spoke up suddenly, pulling Runa's attention away from Kylo. "This ghastly business about dissecting brains. Merely some sort of strange fiction yet the Resistance barbarics holds no bounds. I've thinking about implementing a device into our troopers brains that could be activated and cause termination. This has solidified that and the fact a defected trooper had infiltrated the Starkiller."

"A stormtrooper defected?" Runa asked in shock.

"Yes. Not only that but ran right to Resistance's doorsteps with information on how to make the base vulnerable." 

A First Order stormtrooper had been the reason for the Starkiller base destruction? That was how the impenitent weapon became so easily dominated? Kylo had not told anyone of his return? What was he thinking! She had to stop herself from shaking Kylo awake. 

"Then I believe such a device could be very beneficial. Make sure to tell Snoke of it." She heard him take a sharp inhale at the mention of their Supreme Leader but he said no further words to her. She continued to focus her attention on Kylo. Her fingers were soft and light when she ran them over the skin of his arm. Her other hand remained gently tangled in his hair, twirling the dark locks between finger tips. She hoped he could feel her touch from wherever he was and hoped even more it soothed him. 

She didn't notice the general get up and redress himself in a presentable manner. It was only when she heard the hiss of the door did she bring her gaze away.

"I'll take my leave accordingly. I'll trust you'll look after Ren." He spoke with his back turned to her. 

"Yes." 

"Right." He nodded his head still not facing her. 

"Hux." She called his name. "You don't owe me anything." 

He seemed unresponsive at her statement. Standing straight with hand ready to activate the keypad. Her eyes bore holes into his back until he slightly looked over his shoulder to her. Then words entered her mind carefully almost apprehensively.

_ Thank you. _

The two words came a surprise to Runa. She was unsure if she was meant to hear them or if the general's mental defense faltered. He left quickly. To quickly for her to question him. However, she figured it was a question that did not need an answer. The door closed and she saw no more of fiery general. 

She took Kylo limp hand in hers and held on tightly, her thumbs pressing small circles into his cold skin. Her head found its way to his chest and she carefully rested on it. She could a low thrum of a heartbeat and she hummed a smile. Everything that had happened had been overwhelming and emotional. This was a life unwanted by most but it belonged to her. The life of a Knight is not one she expected and certainly not one she asked for, but it was hers. All the faults and all the cracks belonged to her.

No, not just her, but Kylo too. That was the comfort she had. Knowing he was in this life-part of this life. Strangely, she couldn't see it happening any other way.  

She felt a light pressure on her hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to get out! This chapter was difficult to write because it's a transition chapter. But I tried me best! Next chapter I will be bringing back the smut ;) 
> 
> As always I hoped you enjoyed and thank you all so much for reaching 300+ kudos! That is seriously amazing!!!   
> Lots of love <333


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